Cookie files from Microsoft Bob in fortune(6) format

Fortune cookies that came with the ill-famed MS Bob are adorable. Judging from the corresponding Access db files, they were written during 1994. This repo contains scripts for converting them into the bsd fortune format.

Reqs

• UTOPIA.MDB file (Oct 6 1995, sha1 b933f29f4698a429053d5a6c5bd09260b9727e8b) from archive.org.

• Cygwin. Why? UTOPIA.MDB is in ancient Jet 1.1 format (~1993). I failed to find a way to open such a file under Linux that doesn't require external cloud services. (mdbtools & Jackcess have support for versions 3+.)

  Cygwin packages: make, sqlite3, mdbtools, fortune-mod

• Libraries fro JRO.JetEngine v4. Installing Microsoft Access Database Engine 2010 Redistributable may help. We use it to 'upgrade' the .mdb file from 1.1 to 4.0.

Build

1. Clone the repo.

2. Create a dir (say, _out inside the cloned repo), copy UTOPIA.MDB to it.

3. Type

    $ make -f ../main.mk i=UTOPIA.MDB
   

   If everything was successful, the dir cookies w/ 2 files in it (msbob & msbob.dat) will appear.

   Test:

   $ fortune -m solution cookies
   (msbob)
   %
   A tablespoon of garlic juice combined with a 10% solution of detergent
   in water is a nontoxic, effective way to keep aphids off of roses.
                   -- Microsoft Bob
   %
   You can make your own insecticide by adding two tablespoons of ordinary
   soap flakes to 1/4 gallon of water. Douse the infested leaves with
   this solution.
                   -- Microsoft Bob
   %
   You don't have to use commercial-brand window cleaning solutions. Make
   your own by mixing a 50-50 solution of vinegar and water
                   -- Microsoft Bob
   %
   

Installation

Transfer the contents of cookies dir to /usr/share/games/fortune/ on your linux machine.

Oddities

$ echo 'select Date,topText from FOTDHOLIDAY1' | mdb-sql -p jet4.mdb | grep general,
01/19/94 00:00:00       Birthday of Robert E. Lee, American Confederate general, b. 1807. (Observed in several states in the South.)
01/21/94 00:00:00       Birthday of Thomas Jonathan "Stonewall" Jackson, American Confederate general, b. 1824.

Can't tell if it were just innocent times or someone in Redmond was trolling.

See also

fortune(6), paulgraham_fav

License

MIT.