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Brand,Title,Link,Transcript,Group,Views,Likes,Comment,Date
Old Spice,The Expert | Old Spice GentleMan’s Blend Body Wash,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBJAJKspa0I,"wow your skin is amazing oh oh thank you I got my Old Spice gentleman's body wash to thank for that your man glow is on point bro well you know the key to Great skin is exfoliating and moisturizing and Old Spice gives me both he used to rely on me for skincare advice now he's so moisturized well I mean he's so fresh but I probably should use Old Spice too babe actually that's my
wow your skin is amazing oh oh thank you I got my Old Spice gentleman's body wash to thank for that your man glow is on point bro well you know the key to Great skin is exfoliating and moisturizing and Old Spice gives me both he used to rely on me for skincare advice now he's so moisturized well I mean he's so fresh but I probably should use Old Spice too babe actually that's my",M,2493,141,10,"Jun 30, 2023"
Old Spice,The Secret | Old Spice,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vbJiu40k7w,"they are losing they need a miracle
encouragement
will give them the confidence and freshness they
need to win
what change what confidence that Flow
freshness that lasts 24/7
[Applause]
[Music]",M,1491,75,5,"Jun 29, 2023"
Old Spice,Smells Like Romance | Old Spice Body Spray and Pomade,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=564Y6lpuTDw,"I can smell the romance in the air
it's the lasting freshness of Old Spice to be fair
A little pomade can go really far
Now make a big wish on that shooting
star
(Old Spice)
Freshness all day, Swagger all night
Use long lasting Old Spice, when you're in the spotlight
Old Spice whistle
",M,865470,158,13,"Jun 27, 2023"
Old Spice,Give Odor The Bird | Old Spice Eaglefangs Deodorant Wild Collection,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABGF-h6GJY0,"pepper brownie pepperoni so where are we
dropping let's go take a rift
sorry chat I forgot to put on my Old
Spice deodorant and this body odor is
driving me nuts oh even your play stinks
give odor the bird with the 24 7 lasting
freshness of Old Spice Eagle fangs
deodorant
so what are we playing thanks
",M,2480224,157,25,"Jun 15, 2023"
Old Spice,Tango | Old Spice Swagger Body Wash and Deodorant,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeFl5Ypcp_E,"didn't use Old Spice I think I smelled
freshness
[Music]
",M,15821,166,28,"Mar 27, 2023"
Old Spice,Family Reunion | Old Spice Wilderness Dry Spray,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4LopcCnH4E,"[Music]
I think
what did I say about using my old spice
dry spray
I need long lasting
Lavender is our lavender remember when
we used to steal his Old Spice body
lotion she used to oh
yes I can't take you nowhere
ah I'm telling Mommy Mom you got some
too
[Music]
oh thank you
no no
",M,4648538,253,26,"Feb 28, 2023"
Old Spice,Your Hair by Old Spice Stylers | Old Spice Hair,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMkvbKHWOyY,"your hair by Old Spice the finest One of
a Kind best and only accessory you'll
ever need rose on your head all spice as
their products
",M,18165506,164,25,"Feb 22, 2023"
Old Spice,Soliloquy | Old Spice Swagger Antiperspirant Invisible Dry Spray and Deodorant,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Y3qmbcqgAk,"I didn't use Old Spice, I think I smell
You thought no one could tell?
Freshness all day
Swagger all night
Long lasting Old Spice
Keeps that stank out of sight!
Old Spice Whistle
",M,17352220,445,73,"Feb 5, 2023"
Old Spice,Cold | Old Spice Gentleman’s Blend Moisturizing 2in1 Shampoo and Conditioner,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yf-BoGVvq8w,"moisturizing shampoo the real
ingredients
Nothing beats a shower song about moisturizing shampoo, in a commercial about moisturizing shampoo. #MenHaveHairToo",M,19814142,341,59,"Oct 15, 2022"
Old Spice,Brunch | Old Spice GentleMan’s Blend Lavender & Mint Body Wash,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ns7VPt-neTE,"Admit it
You used my Old Spice body wash
Of course
I'm not letting hotel soap near my skin
RIGHT
Now I'm gonna be ashy
It's the lavender and mint for me
Let me get that
Savannah, if you don't get your moisturized hands off my body wash
Old Spice Whistle
",M,25118656,994,184,"Oct 6, 2022"
Old Spice,Finer Things | Old Spice,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeVIwdO8Kp4,"how do i know you'll be good enough for
my son
you see he enjoys the finer things in
life like his old spies gentlemen's
blend lavender and mint body wash that
gives him impossibly smooth skin oh i
see that you enjoy the finer things in
life too
is that lavender i smell oh well it's
okay i use this body wash too
really
you used all by old spice body wash
what makes you think so she did it
",M,18309128,798,81,"Jun 25, 2022"
Old Spice,LOL Network | Old Spice,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YScEvWqfIqU,"wow kev
really loves sam's club did you guys get
one of these yep thought i was special
turns out he just got a good deal on a
four pack of old spice swagger
antiperspirant
i'm hyped man yo look at this just
wanted to say thank you for being you uh
i thought i'd give you with something
that has as much swagger as you do love
kevin huh best boss ever am i right i
mean what better thank you than a gift
of faith-resistant scent technology
that's ridiculously long-lasting hey
come on man then he took the time to
personally write
you're
you're not special sorry what yeah we
all get the same thing i'm pretty sure
he stamped it on here too what man y'all
hatin dawg it say it right here dear
writer so all y'all say the same thing
yeah
hi yo
huh
see everybody got their presents
really kev like i thought i was fresh
stick of old spice special turns out i'm
just one out of four in a four pack
special
let me get this straight spicy mad that
i i got your gift and it's not
personalized is that what you want spice
some personalized deodorant no no
that's crazy that's crazy what do you
think man you guys know me i can't
resist good deals you know that i'm
sorry i saw that it was 30 off for a
four pack so you know what i did i got
it
okay it reminds me of another great deal
that i got to tom that i got four
writers for the price of one that was
crazy
that's us
you guys he's definitely talking about
us i don't need the attitudes and right
now i feel like i'm getting attacked
i don't like it and i don't need it
i don't need it i wouldn't maybe this is
good enough
or maybe not oh my god at least i tried
did we just get gaslit
[Music]
hey kev man i'm sorry man i didn't know
i'm man enough to say i'm sorry
hey kev
you
",M,8581,261,40,"May 7, 2022"
Old Spice,Skincriminating Evidence | Old Spice,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAZP6XoGr18,"(Deon)
Late night soaks. Suspiciously soft skin...
(Gabrielle)
Deon! It's not what it looks like.
(Deon)
It looks like my Old Spice GentleMan's
Blend Body Wash...
(Gabrielle)
Oh. Then it is what it looks like.
",M,15690,338,30,"Feb 19, 2022"
Old Spice,Car Ride | Old Spice,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U35IZFSdr1c,"(Deon)
Stop the car!
You must think I'm stupid.
(Gabrielle)
Have you lost your mind?
(Deon)
I haven't lost my sense of smell. I know my
Old Spice long-lasting scents anywhere...
(Driver)
That's me, Mr. Cole.
(Gabrielle)
You did not have to lie for me.
(Driver)
Let's talk about a raise.
Smelling delicious.
Let’s talk about a promotion.
",M,56307156,1300,160,"Feb 15, 2022"
Old Spice,Ode to Smell | Old Spice x The Witcher,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inSSUfkue6c,"THERE IS A CURSE
‘PON EVERY MAN,
ACROSS THIS DARK
AND DANGEROUS LAND,
NO-ONE CAN RUN
NO-ONE CAN HIDE
FROM THE PERILS OF B.O!
B.O! B.O!
NOTHING WE DO
WILL MAKE IT GO.
OLD SPICE DOES NOT YET EXIST
SO EVERYBODY SMELLS QUITE AWFUL.
IN THE BATHHOUSE
ONE WOULD THINK,
A WITCHER COULD WASH
AWAY THE STINK.
BUT WITH THIS SOUP
OF DIRT AND GRIME,
HIS STENCH SHOULD BE A CRIME.
B.O! B.O!
NOTHING WE DO
WILL MAKE IT GO.
ARMPITS FULL OF “YUCK” AND LICE
OH HOW WE LONG FOR OLD SPICE!
ONE DAY IN THE FUTURE
OLD SPICE WILL BE OUR SAVIOR
‘TIL THAT DAY COMES
OUR PITS WILL SMELL
AND OUR NOSES CONDEMNED
TO A PUNGENT HELL!
B.O! B.O!
NOTHING WE DO
WILL MAKE IT GO…
BUT IN 700 YEARS
WHEN THE GODS OF SMELL SEE FIT,
LONG LASTING
OLD SPICE WILL SAVE
OUR ARMPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTSSSSS!!!! (CM)
Will nothing save us from
this Unholy curse?
♪There is a curse 'pon every
man♪
♪Across this dark and dangerous
land♪
♪No one can run,
no one can hide♪
♪From the perils of B.O.♪
(Peasants)
♪B.O. B.O. Nothing we can do
will make it go♪
♪Old Spice does not
yet exist♪
♪So everyone smells quite
awful♪
(CM)
♪In the bathhouse one would
think♪
♪A witcher could wash
away the stink♪
♪But with this soup of dirt and
grime♪
♪His stench should be a crime♪
(Peasants)
♪B.O. B.O. And nothing we can do
will make it go♪
♪Armpits full of ""Yuck"" and
lice♪
♪Oh how we long for
Old Spice♪
(Mage)
♪One day in the future,
Old Spice will be our savior♪
♪Till that day comes,
our pits will smell♪
♪And our noses condemned to a
punget hell♪
(Peasants)
♪B.O. B.O. Nothing we can do
will make it go♪
(CM)
♪But in 700 years when the Gods
of smell see fit♪
♪Long lasting Old Spice will
save our♪
♪Armpiiiiiiiiiiiitttttsssss!♪
(Peasant 1)
We'll be dead by then.
",M,6809483,4600,469,"Dec 16, 2021"
Old Spice,These Hands | Old Spice,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLoaausDYYw,"You did the two things we always talk
about what's that you worked hard and you
Have fun
Have fun
My man
That's a real star you got there.
Take care of those hands, they're taking you places.
I got hands!
I'ma go pro.
Have you ever thought about what else
you could be?
Go long son.
You could be a brain surgeon.
Your hands could operate as skillfully as Dr. Myron Rolle.
or a sports agent like Rich Paul
You can be as creative as Bryan Blue the Great or an astronaut like Leland D Melvin
Sure, you could play for a team but you could buy a team.
Ownership get to wear the rings first.
I can do all that dad?
You
can be anything you want
with these hands.
",M,500839,251,0,"Nov 16, 2021"
Old Spice,Hang On | Old Spice,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLyiuEK47Go,"Grab my hand!
Wait
Are you sweating?
Didn't you use Old Spice Dry Spray?
Of course I did!
I'm not an idiot!
Don't lie to me Dolph Lundgren!
It says right here — Old Spice has long lasting sweat protection.
I'm telling you, I used it
Ok, I lied.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Ahhhh
🎶 Old Spice Whistle 🎶
",M,51107232,5100,582,"Feb 16, 2022"
Old Spice,Marvel Studios’ Shang-Chi X Old Spice Dragonblast: Smell Ready for the Holidays with Simu Liu,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJPz4F-hZRo,"Ahh! (Screams)
Sup, man.
I told you to stop doing that
Doing what
You scared me
Maybe you should stop being scared
What
What
Look man, i'm here to make you become the best version of yourself.
Do you really want to be the type of person who is scared of a talking dragon?
Well considering I buy you..
A BLAH-BLAH-BLAH. All i'm hearing is excuses. Do you want to be your best or not?
I guess
You guess? YOU GUESS?
Ok, yes. GOD.
That's more like it. Now put on some Old Spice Dragonblast and let's go save the world.
Save the world? What are you talking about?
WHOA.
Oh yah.
(Old Spice whistle)
Catch Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings November 12 on Disney Plus
",M,2547959,1200,0,"Nov 16, 2021"
Old Spice,LA Rams use the Body Wash GOAT for Moisturization with Old Spice Moisturize with Shea Butter,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEtD91Flo-s,"Ah.
Where is it?
Yo, you good? Bro, have you
seen my Old Spice Body Wash?
It was here before practice and I
can't find it. Your Old Spice?
My Old Spice Moisturize with
Shea Butter. It keeps my skin
nice and soft. No, I haven't
seen any old spice lately. My
fiance keeps taking my body
wash at home. I thought it
would be safe here. Why can't
people just understand that men
have skin too? Unless it was
coach again. Hmm, probably was
coach. He does have moisturized
skin.",M,20956,199,10,"Nov 7, 2021"
Old Spice,Therapy | Old Spice,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J5lFrwy0uw,"(Therapist)
Deon, hand it over. Now how does
that make you feel?
(Deon)
Like a part of me is missing.
(Therapist)
Gabby, how does that make you
feel?
(Gabrielle)
Oh I feel moisturized.
This Old Spice Fiji Hand and
Body Lotion has me
smoother than ever, so...
(Deon)
That's what it does.
(Therapist)
Deon?
(Deon)
I'm going to need minute.
(Therapist)
You take as much time as you
need.
(Deon)
I...
(Therapist)
And that's our time!
(Therapist)
Beautiful work Deon.
Beautiful work.
Nice work!
(Gabrielle)
Bring the lotion!
(Therapist)
So good. Yes girl!
",M,62324781,2000,418,"Oct 19, 2021"
Old Spice,Gabriel 'Fluffy' Iglesias | Old Spice,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vOoPtCuckA,"[Music]
[Applause]
We have the press from 10 to 12 in the afternoon and
then they're going to use them to cancel everything. I
'm not going to make public appearances
when my skin is so dry and
Gabriel, what are you doing, we
have to go to the interview,
no I can go on camera if I need
my country. It hydrates my skin so that it
stays soft,
ok, enough, I can't do more than a medium from
your country. Very right watch over, it
also hydrates my skin and leaves it so soft
that
",M,8236,287,25,"Sep 28, 2021"
Old Spice,Captain | Old Spice x Marshmello,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwY9Wdao2QE,"With the help of Old Spice Captain,
you can spend less time feeling like a roasted marshmallow
and more time cooking beats
like this Marshmallo.
",M,27566,508,33,"Sep 22, 2021"
The Man Company,The Gentleman Show | S1E25 | Skin-telligent Talk | Ankush Bahuguna | Dr. Gunjan | Yashwant,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tlb0kQVEUMo,don't forget to like comment share subscribe and press the Bell icon so that the next time the episode comes up you get a notification is your family like your immediate family or your extended family do they understand why you do what you do or do this do you still feel that 3D judgment to here be being a man in the beauty industry yeah hair judgment I think they are still like getting comfortable yeah yeah as like I'm growing and people are like recognizing and appreciating my work but but it's maybe it's getting easier because people are recognizing your words yeah because they still find it hard to accept that they can't go out and tell people okay like my son is like a beauty content creator oh you're a very much boy boy looking um like there are a lot of boys who also complain they reject us [Music] foreign foreign Ty is a lot of times means your father it's more about male pleasure as per the patriarchal society we are living in but that is not right hello everyone this is ankush bahugna I am back with yet another episode of the gentleman show by the man company life says the topic is skin care and um because then you'll find out why I'm saying that is and um this one's gonna be fun it feeds um so we have today with us a dermatologist Dr gunjan hi Hi how are you feeling I'm good thank you are you still nervous okay this is the first time that I'm on a podcast but there's always the first time so I mean don't worry so if that makes you feel better yashwant yashwant Hi how are you hi I'm good and uh I haven't introduced you for a reason so the thing is that Dr gunjan is very new to Instagram and yeah I just try new products I share my experience yeah um are you are you well versed with this whole world of influencers and content creators uh not much but yes because patients come to us and you know they let us know okay we've been using this because we were you know advised by certain you know people on the net or whatever you do so we are getting to you know know this kind of a word exists is that is that is that the reason why you've just come on Instagram yeah so it's that's yes the reason because uh we're forced to come on to Instagram because of the patience we have to know what the patients are getting there right information from and what information are they getting yeah so it's important to be out there and put out the right thing right because there's so many of them nowadays you know creating content that you need to know what exactly is about there for the patients to you know dermatologist people need to know like they should get the information from the but experts only but yes the community that you guys have all built all the uh can't how do you like to address yourself are you are you a beauty Creator are you uh are you an influencer are you a content creator or are you just saying influencer Beauty Creator you're a beauty Creator yeah because like like I'll talk about from scan care to makeup products to Hair Care everything okay so Beauty Creator yeah take care okay so it's not just skin care but Beauty on the whole yeah like I think that's a huge compliment key you know uh this is this onset of uh content creators in the beauty industry has led to dermatologists it's because there is so much misinformation a lot of content creators don't even realize what they are talking about and it is very much needed that uh the maths and estheticians they share their experience and everything so people choose the best and they monitor yeah exactly there is yeah very very important there might be some overlap but then the domain is slightly different so that dermatologist won't be trying out different brands and talking about it right you know we are not into trying out different cosmetic brands we are more into what uh technical or medical information is being put out there yes what you do because as a content creator as a beauty Creator like you like to call yourself tell us more about it I think that goes for every creator like it doesn't like it's not limited to Beauty creators yes I'm I'm talking to you as a Creator only I just want you to share your experience about how difficult it is to sometimes explain to people it is very difficult because they just feel like you are just applying products and you're just talking about products what is it like like how's it working like how are you making money all of that so when uh when Beauty creators say uh okay I've been trying out these products for like a week or a month does it actually happen I can talk about myself I can't I yeah I can't avoid others I uh like I always make clear like whenever a branch reach out to me I always tell them that I need a like a four week time or something before I even talk about the product yeah I mean even I recently uh did this brand collab I'm not gonna name the brand I did this brand collaboration where um I was like if it's a skin care product it's not a makeup product that you can just apply and find out if it works yeah skincare products take time for you too obviously like other visible difference at least you know that it's not getting worse or at least it feels healthier whatever like there are some products like a cleanser or maybe a sunscreen which you can use a couple of times and figure out like whether it's working like a week maybe you can see like if it's not like ruining your skin I think the concept skincare products usually as a Creator you've tried so many products mostly the exfoliants and serums like the treatments basically right so yeah if you are using a vitamin C or say retinoid stuff you need four five six weeks to even see like some changes so uh Dr gunjan is uh looking at both us creators talking about skin care and you know exports is like uh I have formal education in this hello but uh Dr kunjun what is your honest opinion on like after we've already established influences you know what I mean so as someone who's qualified in this field what is your honest opinion on influences then you have to be absolutely honest um Frankly Speaking I mean I don't I'm not very familiar with the work of the influencers because uh I've not been going on to the social media myself to check out uh you know it's just when the patients come to us they're already using certain products and we assume that they've got the information from the net and uh you know from such sources so it's not as if we've checked out the videos exactly what has been put out we are getting into that but and a lot of dermatologists are creating content themselves but right huh actually there's like a big overlap now that's what dermatical specials is a very open to like vitamin C or retinoids because the pharmaceutical companies have their products the cosmetic companies are their products so there is a clash you know so we are basically more concerned about the exact content or the formulation then which brand you are using is up to you right right and yes uh have you ever thought about this I am a content creator but you know like a lot of creators have now started saying like you just mentioned if you have a skin allergy or if you have like a skin condition then influences are not the people that you need to look up to because you need to consult a dermatologist yeah so how do you differentiate and when do you need to go to a dermatologist I mean I get DMS from people they send me pictures like with their face acne rashes and stuff and I just tell them you have to see a dermat go see a doctor I'm not the one because I don't have like a medical degree so I can only talk about the products and share my experience I can't give you medical advice you know you have um you know because skincare it's a little unpredictable sometimes yeah it is it's very personal that's what it's very first you nobody can really predictions foreign no I don't recommend I just share my experience it's up to the person I just talk about like the results I have seen so as as a content creator do you also how do you keep yourself up to date with all the knowledge products um hyaluronic acid became very popular yeah uh like I think materials use the latest like some peptides and you know like all these Pokemon sounding names but I also keep reading up because there are so many new actives and chemicals for that matter even we have to read it up because this is not something we were taught in the medical school person right huh right so even we have to update ourselves once in a while because there's so many things out there that you know and there's so many you know new things coming up every now and then that you have to update yourself but as a dermatologist are you also personally into skincare yes to some extent I would say of course I mean like um I first I mean um I'm on the wrong side of 40. so I've taken the car up till now I've taken a concert I've not gone into invasive skin care you know I've stayed away from Botox that's a personal choice right A lot of people even in their 30s and totally acceptable nowadays want to go in for such treatments I have not so even being a dermatologist and uh you know when I have access to all these things I've stayed away from it but that's a personal choice I'm sure a lot of my listeners right now will be wondering here Botox so Botox is more of something which you inject into your skin to relax the muscles so like you have deep creases or whatever exactly so you have crow's feet or you know a deep forehead so deep lines go relax the muscle is relaxed when you inject it into it and gently last for for three to six months effects once you're into it you have to continue it because the effect will last only for three to six months exactly the second is fillers um so Botox is more for the upper face where you have those creases and all that fillers is something which you inject into it so to um you know if there's a loss of fat pads you know there's sunken eyes or sunken cheeks or to Contour your face or jawline though personally I'm not doing these procedures but that is what is done yeah so inject things into yours you know skin which you know kind of fills up the space to replace the fat loss to Contour your face or jawline or lip contouring or whatever yes have you ever gotten confused with these Advanced Skin Care fillers generally last you forever like I said I follow a lot of like dorm ads estheticians and I'll read about them so yeah so keep yourself updated basically like we have to give it to them like so many like uh estheticians dermats cosmetic formulators like all of them are their own social media they're sharing eight minutes that's tradition and a dermatologist so uh I would call myself a dermatologist because my practice mainly clinical Dermatology the problem areas but yes you can't keep away from cosmetic nowadays because you get a lot of patients who are wanting advice regarding cosmetics and all that so yes I'm into cosmetic also but not purely cosmetic then there are certain dermatologists who are purely into cosmetic procedures okay so they're more into you know medical facials and or whatever these Dermatology procedures Beauty procedures kind of thing so their focus area is cosmetic procedures and less of problem area of course they can deal with them and they are aware of the problem so they are better better at handling the Cosmetic procedures because in case there is a problem area they can deal with that too yeah yeah but the focus is mainly the Cosmetic procedures so I want to ask yes like you were just saying uh you started doing skin care then you got into Korean skincare and it made a difference to your skin that's when you became a Creator so what is that earliest memory in your life when you realized key I I like skincare I think after I got into Korean beauty uh within a year I started like noticing some difference like I had like very severe like acne prone skin oh wow yeah it's not there anymore like it is like I do get breakouts but yeah it's much better than okay yeah how it was so yeah like once I saw the results I like like this is like cool I will and I like you enjoy doing it after a point I think that's how I see it like after a long day I have to like engage in my like nighttime routine you know it's it's so interesting how different people feel differently about skin care like a lot of people love skin care because it shows a difference to their skin obviously why I love skincare is because I don't know it just feels very therapeutic it's like tomorrow put on like a nice moisturizer let your skin absorb it and whatever and when you put on a face mask and it's drying it's the only time I get when I'm not doing anything I'm not stressing yeah so I've realized that over time I started skincare cookies I just randomly started doing skincare and then it started showing a difference to my skin like my skin tones and ctm actually made a big difference to my you know the way my skin looked and then I it became a habit it makes me feel really calm exactly like even I started like initially it was like to treat my acne basically but after a point like I started enjoying it so I started buying new products like whatever was there it makes you feel good about yourself yeah yeah exactly so have you ever yashwant have you ever seen have you ever seen men in your family do skin care before you not really it was my mom I think who like introduction yeah she was the one she always made sure that I was using sunscreen so I used to play tennis basically so she was like you have to apply sunscreen okay so yeah sunscreen so basically my dad's side of family was like Dusky and my mom is like very fair so she made sure that like we are applying sunscreen so we don't get dark basically yeah um actually like this obsession with fairness and skin care as a dermatologist doctor yes you still get a lot of you know patients who are you know and wanting fairness as the end result kind of thing so you have to counsel them that you have to be comfortable in the skin complexion that God has given you it should be a clean healthy skin even skin tone that is the main aim of any cosmetic treatment it is not fairness the differences initially it was just the female patients used to come in for this thing but nowadays you get a lot of male patients who are you know conscious about their complexion umedding females used to drop in you know complexion whatever now you get a lot of male patients who are about to have you know get um married or whatever and they're conscious about their complexion and all that you know I'll admit there was a phase where I think also because my sisters went through that sort of uh conditioning fairness cream I'm sure everybody in India has at some point had that phase so I also had that phase where I would you know and then exactly nobody's ever turned fair by any fairness the advertisement the power of advertisement s and you know it's so funny that uh men usually don't talk about skin care they don't want to associate themselves with skin care but kittens this is a legendary they don't want to accept it that they are using yeah so yeah so that's what I wanted to talk about men don't men find it cool to say you know it's become like a flex key I'm not into all of this why why is that because basically like like as we grow like we are conditioned in a way like as guys we don't have to like take care of ourselves we have to be rough and stuff yeah like girls are supposed to like apply products and look beautiful guys don't have to like look after their skin and have things change now um I have daughters so I can't really say about the younger generation but yes when I see the patients that come in yes I'm not talking about my personal family but yes when I see the patients who come in um you get a lot of you know on teenage boys who are worried about their skin or even the younger group who also I think basic skin care and hygiene is mandatory so irrespective of the gender that is mandatory you know so certain everybody needs to be a little presentable and well groomed so some basic things are mandatory Advanced Skin Care As I said is of course a privilege you may or may not want to go for it you might not be using a very complicated skincare when you are not you know um it's not necessary that you use a very complicated skin care regime but certain Basics and hygiene of course is mandatory is your family like your immediate family or your extended family do they understand why you do what you do or do this do you still feel that is being a man in the beauty industry yeah hair judgment I think they are still like getting comfortable yeah yeah as like I'm growing and people are like recognizing and appreciating my work but but it's maybe it's getting easier because people are recognizing your words yeah because they still find it hard to accept that they can't go out and tell people okay like my son is like a beauty content creator is yeah and we all we've all discussed multiple times the whole conversation about men in makeup and you know the whole perception that is there around yeah so yeah so you still feel that even even though you get so much love on the internet for the content that you make yeah in real life so we we're not there yet yeah we are not so so then how do you deal with it you know you're still doing something which is you can say unconventional but the content creation is fairly new yeah but I think as long as I am happy I don't care what people think beat my family or the other people so yeah I think subscribe exactly so it will make a little difference but there is no overnight Solutions no no there are patches which she's talking about you like put it on your acne dehydrates foreign coming up or something so it's like emergency remedy kind of a thing one off thing once in a while it's not a routine a treatment for acne and there is no shortcut for acne treatment any patches or your drying Solutions are gonna be expensive drying solution it's like I recommend it to my friend he's like yeah exactly I mean you don't have to resort to these things you need you need to take care of your acne properly take proper treatment so that you know you overcome the bout of acne yeah but these are like uh short-term you know these are this is not a long-term solution for your act yeah as a Creator and I'm totally um sorry I'm sorry I'm totally okay if they don't invest into such overnight remedies and rather invest into long-term treats very long-term treatment sorry so it's a routine it's like my life especially with someone who's not into skincare so much but if you are having problem you know moderate to severe acne once in a while breakout is fine but then if you are having acne that really uh you know makes a person conscious or aware then they really are you know open to treatments Ah that's true because self-confidence exactly so most of the patients are desperate to get rid of them anyhow and then ready to follow so when when men come for these I know that happening um esthetician I know that you're not an esthetician but I'm sure you know many yes so when men come for these Botox and fillers is I think it's getting more popular amongst men also now absolutely are they secretive about that uh because tabuto here like even with women there's a type of people exactly I mean I think in general it's not gender specific in general people don't really talk about it too much yeah they want to get it done but they don't want to what's the point I get it I get it but I also feel that Botox fillers still people accept they associate that with women so when men come and get it done are they you know are they uncomfortable with it themselves I don't think so oh you know um um most of my colleagues they do discuss their male patients and you know even men get you know decreases and on their foreheads and all that um so I think they're quite comfortable but I think for fillers and Botox and everything like even the girls are not comfortable sharing it because there is a lot of shaming shaming exactly that's what I'm saying people don't you don't want people to know that you've got it done so that is not gender specific that's true for what males and females and the men that you think are very manly according to you and you know so you shame other people on the internet for being into makeup skin care all your favorite Heroes apply makeup all your favorite Heroes uh get started even for you know female actresses oh she got this done I mean everybody is getting in this what's so different about her you know and like he said how do you look that young at that age because I look at I look at like all these Heroes who are you know so like they're they're as old as some of my relatives but both normal 50 year old professional demand to look good on screen or whatever young 50 year old actors really give that unrealistic image like you can't like expect that result from like applying topical products basically on your skin and because men are not used to hearing skin care is actually very common yeah he's got a point it's because you know people at times you know what these are the unrealistic expectations you know when patients come in for cosmetic procedures so that is not the point because all these Heroes and actors and like whenever they are asked how do you like you look so young and stuff it would be like exactly so so unrealistic expectations have to be managed camera or photoshop it's not Photoshop videos foreign who is the modern gentleman yashwant I think who's Liberal Liberal yeah you have to be Progressive and like basically open to like other people like you shouldn't be like uh you shouldn't have like those preconceived notion about peoples yeah judgmentally yeah basically you should be like just broad-minded and yeah that's pretty cool that's nice what about you difficult to put it out in a word but I would say confident and comfortable in this skin I think they're comfortable talking about their issues so choose both okay comfortable yeah okay great so we got the answers thank you so much it was great having both of you and I think it's great that we had both the perspectives on this discussion one-sided conversation so thank you so much for joining us and um I hope this was a good experience for you guys yeah yeah it was thank you so much all right so that was me ankush on another episode of the gentleman show by the man company now we're signing off and we'll see you next time in the next episode with yet another interesting topic and don't forget to give us feedback on social media um so yeah tell us on social media tag us at the rate the man company at the rate and I'll see you next time I already said that sorry anyway bye [Music],M,120,5,0,"Jun 30, 2023"
The Man Company,Vitamin C Face Wash | Vitamin C & Niacinamide,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZJ89rhlofQ,"[Music]
foreign
[Music]
",M,289,3,4,"May 16, 2023"
The Man Company,The Gentleman Show | S1E23 | Do You Know Your Mother? | @ankushbahuguna | @TheJhumroo,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Be1-gdL4vVE,don't forget to like comment share subscribe and press the Bell icon so that the next time the episode comes up you get a notification like I don't know have you ever sat and talk to your mother about what her hobbies are and this is a question for all the listeners also and you Arun have you ever you know sat her down you know how we treat other important people in our lives like friends key I think you're good at this you should do this what are your passions what do you like doing have you ever had that conversation with your mother because I haven't I can't get myself too because it's just we've never been like that oh you're a very much boy boy looking foreign like there are a lot of boys who also complain they reject us [Music] some friends on us because we are nice how fragile masculine tea is a lot of times means your power male pleasure as per the patriarchal society we are living in but that is not right hello everyone this is ankush bahugana and you've tuned in to the gentleman show by the man company jaha par we will discuss the modern gentleman or harvo aspects there but mostly okay about mothers and how easy it is to share everything with them with a very special guest Arun who is a comedian who is a content creator who's an RJ who does a lot of things and Arun I want to say is Uncle like uncle has become a cool word so that's pretty cool but thanks for having me ankush yeah I mean I'm looking forward to having like a very good insightful conversation about you know mothers and sons because I think that it's a topic yeah and interesting that you said and then they worry about birth and all my mom would say I'm like why are moms like this that's so difficulties like fulfilled me she'll be like uh foreign [Laughter] [Music] those in Delhi NCR know there is this play also yeah and of course is the perfect fun fact I was once in the process of auditioning for that show really but I like I mean the rehearsals are very hectic so I couldn't make it this is back when I used to learn like there was a very little phase in my life where I was like trying to learn how to dance professionally okay whatever that means but yeah I was doing that and then I was like wow this sounds exciting anyway we've taken another tangent so let's come back to discussing mothers what is so I'll tell you so much so I grew up with two sisters which even you have so our family setup is very similar you know uh parents and then sisters it's like practically we had four parents yeah yeah yeah it's like I've had three mothers yeah very very very similar to that and then a father also so yeah four parents but um so she would take me and all the cousins were Elder to me like I couldn't play with them I was a kid I would just cling on to her and not let her go because I just didn't want to be left in a foreign place without my mother so that was like that's my oldest memory uh of me and my mom's relationship she was the only familiar person in the room at any given time like even if my sisters around my father was around it was my mother that I would usually just go to like instinctively she is the one that I would hold on to on every given in every given situation say I mean when I had like that fear yeah but um and I thought my parents have left because we've all like felt turkey minutes [Laughter] yeah but probably we have trust issues also I mean I mean clearly this this podcast is unraveling things have you not ready to accept about ourselves but uh what is your relationship been like with your mother like how did it start where are you guys right now like you know the whole process of uh so it started relationships couldn't have guessed I know right so many of us so anyway so yeah that's how it started the jokes about but uh I think as every kid I was always the most closest to my mom and uh because the CU grow they see in different phases of you they see different sides of you also I think of course but I think as sometimes mothers as persons are emotionally their emotional quotient is high but which is the case in with my mom so that really helped like she could really see things that others could not like she identified that I can do some creative things which I also didn't know right like she knew that like she would send me to every summer camp every class every hobby class that they've ever existed so she really like of course I've done everything during my growing up days right which helped me identify like she she knew like what he's going through what is what is in his mind so her emotional uh sensibilities are I think strong also which really helped and that is I am I've always been close to her so it's not changed over the years you I won't say that because it has jobs so my mom would always yeah update basically she would be like but just message me and I would do that that and it became a practice it's a fair ask yeah it is a fair asked parents [Music] body so uh definitely a practice or ritual um having this and then she would say whatever that happened my sister joined me here right very recently she's very chatty and I'm not a phone person really so she's very chatty she keeps talking to my mom and she gives all the updates every updates and now I'm like yeah but it's just that I think which is not fair I think okay she knows I'm fine I'm doing okay telling things to her yourself because she knows that you know that she's getting the information from your sister yeah so so would you actually so you know that everybody messages me saying you know we love your relationship with your mother you guys are so cute together this and that and I keep repeating myself when I answer those questions I keep repeating myself that what you see on social media is two individuals working together you know like she's an actor so am I I'm a content creator she's an actor and that's what we're doing we're creating content together but those videos can't be a hundred percent true reflection of our relationship because I mean I'm I've been very open about this that I don't share the healthiest relationship with my mother so would you say that you are you're the kind of relationship that you share with your mother do you would you say that it's healthy yeah it's definitely healthy it's like two individuals existing on their own knowing that they love each other but they don't really feel obligated at least I'll speak for myself there's only one way to know the other side I guess like she knows that I really love her and I know she loves me and that's how it is yeah yeah but I wish there was like more communication sometimes I feel like guilty yeah but um you know like I feel just a Mothers and relationships why is my relationship with my mother so much different and so much more complex you know that's so one tone and unidimensional that is but where is the real aspect he you know sometimes your habits just are so annoying to each other like you can't sit in a room without fighting you know all these qualities of my mom that I don't like that she's a control freak and she's restless and she's you know she's not a problem solver problem and with time I'm realizing I am all of that myself surprise and I'm like I'm you know this one time I was just irritated at my mom just calm down I can see that you're so like fidgety why it's irritating me foreign and then he would complain also you know I was exhausted myself and I'm like yeah but that's your choice why did you do that at the first place so so she's very huge productive and a productive and a woman which I don't like now hustle hustling beyond your like capacity yeah and uh um it's just like waste of time so she's she loves music but she can't sit as her arm say to watch a movie because she thinks it's not productive now I can't watch series everybody around me is watching series is just netflixing and maybe chilling as well whereas I I don't like it because I'm like yeah and now when I'm friends with people who are who know how to chill and they're like yeah and they go like I'm like yeah because I was working and Mera weekend job Monday to Friday Saturday Sunday I have my schedule yeah impatience control freak like like you said that you're a people pleaser but also control freak I relate to that and my mom was a bad combination though yeah my mom is also like that like that translates into backseat driving that you're just passive and you're telling people what to do things but you're also not doing them yourself after a few minutes and then I just guys do you want more juice do you want more napkins [Laughter] no no but uh yeah so I feel music like you said you know my other mothers do so much more and then they also complain and that used to irritate me so much it still does you know now that I've also realized that when we say it's your choice it's not really their choice because you know a lot of Duties that they do they there's no other way in in the whole you know I mean we do live in a sexist society right so mothers for example I was talking about resentment right so when I was growing up um I mean this is very personal but anyway I'm okay talking about it when I was growing up my mom was my mom is an actor so she used to go to the hills garvali movies for like weeks and sometimes a month and what what that like I I would go to school and I say parent teacher meeting my parents have never gone for a parent teacher meeting also because I was such a for two kids but they never came to my parent teacher meetings because Dad was busy with work mom had shoots to do and then I would see other people's moms and you know you associate a certain image with Mom and then you see your own mom who's like a working and she's an independent woman right she's working she's but then I would feel like you know there's something that my mom is not doing she's not she's absent and you know she's not around and then I just looked at her like that that she's so imperfect as a mother that you know she's away and then I realized that this was a woman who was taking care of her own Ambitions she comes from a village in uttarakhand she comes to the city she finds her own way in uttarakhand cinema and she becomes one of the biggest names there of her time she's doing that while having three kids sending them to school and it's also not keyboard she would arrange everything and then I remember she would come back after weeks of travel come back put the put the bag right next to the main door head to the kitchen to cook something for all of us now that I grew up I feel that we were so cruel about all of that because and entitled and entitled and like complaining about them you know like I mean she's also a person right which is what brings me to my next point that I feel that we always see this as a mother is doing it not a person is doing it like mother is a role that you play it's not your entire existence it's not your personality she's she's a human being right she has her own aspirations and like when our parents were our age what about our parents like Yeah and I don't think we ever think that we have we don't look at our mothers like people and I think it boy it just speciesism of course patriarchy or plus Generations nobody knows right what is happening behind closed doors nobody knows but uh it's it's unfair and it's it's so my mom runs a boutique okay and she she really does it out of passion and she's always done it also she again struggled it because so my uh Dadu wasn't really cool with she pursuing you know this back in those days when she had just got married so because we had factories and all and he's like I'm not really cool with my daughter-in-law like you know running her own Boutique and everything and then like she but he was still enough like nice enough and she continued and everything now and now she's old but she still continues her work um she would leave her work and she would get up I feel so sad and that you know visual for me is not that much of guilty over there but then I was like dude it's really like worship for me because also I'm not very social or I don't have any other uh let's say Hobbies immediately Recreation is creating videos Recreation is researching about something merely Recreation is producing a nice news piece [Music] and I know how passionate she is and how happy she feels when she does it the way she gets up it's so endearing and we will run she loves her job and she loves the appreciations she gets out of it she would leave and get up same lovely my mom will be tired from shoots but Habibi she'll come back from a shooter videos thank you but that's something that's being used by everyone what about her gift you know like why is that gift not for her the person that she is so I mean to the listeners listening to this like I mean this is something that we all need to think about that this is not something you glorify options for so many women is such a you know rare think either even in a position where they can have a career so that's why they hustle so much so anything that you do in life do you think of its repercussions on you know what your mother would think yeah a lot of times and uh there are moments and I'm like decision she might not be happy with this and I would do it but I think again that that comes from the space where I'm too dependent also on her so does it should a decision be if it's about like choosing a table and I will my mom like it and I'll click a picture and send it to her and she said and even if I want it for example if I really like this brown table I want it and she says you won't buy it I would feel so irritated but I would still not buy it and I would crave about it that you didn't let me have this but I said to go with her choice that's exactly the same what my mom does with me like she'll be like um and then she'll return it and she'll get something else and then the the second suit I like what she won't like but she'll still keep it and crib here there's another thing that she does she would say um which is even more hurtful and I'm like okay now she's told me yeah and I'm like now what do I do but do you uh do you like it when your mother chooses things for you yeah yeah eventually turns out to be right um if she said something so I'm like look on you or does she like short hair like appearance wise what does she like on you she really likes uh like a neat look and you don't like that I'm okay I don't foreign [Music] foreign interesting interesting but uh I don't know do you ever do you think honestly do you think of your mother like a person do you know her Hobbies do you think you know her well because I mean let's face it relationship is a two-way thing right but somehow our mothers always know us inside out yeah keep what we like what our hobbies are what is through their lives that they just know it without having that conversation but do we know them as well do you know your mother as well if I say yes that would be my claim there's nothing to know yeah but do you feel that you've ever sat her down and asked her about life do you know what your mother does when she's alone at home and nobody's around yeah she does have batik thing which she really enjoys and likes and it's therapeutic for her but when she's not working let's say she's not doing her what is she doing when she's alone do you do you know that not really exactly hmm we don't think these things true but they'll know if I ask this question to your mother she will know what you do when you're not doing anything um but yeah she would know but I mean does there ever come a time where we give it back to our mothers and like help them as people who really understand them and make them realize what their passions are what their Ambitions are what they want to do in life because it's never really that late no yeah does there ever come that time for for us to enable and Empower our mothers there should be I believe there should be yeah there really should be yeah that's when we sort our life probably and then move on exactly priorities basically it's right it's for those priorities are flawed yeah I feel that you know every time you talk about mothers I feel that the reality is that being a mother is a very ungrateful role yeah and we're all to blame just because it doesn't free us of that you know we are also part of that system most of us we don't know her life doesn't elevate just because of that one Mother's Day wish which makes us come to the next section which is called so I want you to call your mother okay and just just talk to her about something just just ask her what her passion is what she likes doing my phone uh phone is on flight mode first let me turn that off okay logistical issues no but I just want you to talk to her like she's a person and not a mother cool oh this is making me feel so awkward and weird she's like talking to my mom such an organic thing is I hope she picks oh wow thank you she doesn't go through you know what I'll have to do I'll have to call Dad and this is hello good afternoon [Music] Papa numbers okay good afternoon podcasts on the radio program types oversega hanji um personal he means um and that brings us to the end of the podcast around almost the end of the podcast I'm gonna ask you what your final word is on this Define the word gentleman in one word sensible and when I say sensible it means like sensible to have sensibilities about the environment of course all of us are work in progress but to be sensitive towards things that are around you just makes you a better person every day but if you're just sensible you learn you'll pick that sense and that's how you'll grow yeah yeah I think I I like the Ring of it because I think more than anything else it's important to be a sensible person first and that's how you you know become a gentleman yeah I agree I agree it was great having you Arun this is such a insightful and beautiful conversation and I hope you enjoyed it too yes I did thanks thank you [Music],M,218,1,4,"May 14, 2023"
The Man Company,Let’s have a look at what the people of Mumbai have to say about Men & Gentlemen | What's Hot,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bz8C-x08RqY,when I met my wife you can start from right now it doesn't take time chivalry totally agree we need worship with this man [Music] what's hard Mumbai today we are going to talk about men what sets A Man Apart from a gentleman is it the clothes the mannerism or something else no so this International men's day let's go and find out shall we come follow me [Music] first of all a very happy International Men's Day thank you until you said that oh you want so you've never celebrated it before no no no this is the first time oh my God yeah you celebrated no no no not yet but I think you will celebrate it what do you think it is about being a man there's a women's day then then I was always aware that there should be one but I wasn't aware that there is okay if you want to know more about uh men's day and how the man company is celebrating it you can check out their handles what was your last act of kindness towards a man so actually we run a foundation that's a happy child so every Sunday we do distributions to all the happy Childs with some of food and distribution so that's my every Year's activity that's what we do every time oh that's wonderful yeah so that's what we you know run so if I'm working in hotel industry every day is like a kindness for me it's the such catering people so many people at the same time everywhere every day I have to smile there will be multiple instances uh it's difficult to recollect one specific instance I helped a poor man to buy his clothes to celebrate this last Diwali well and bought a smile on his family what according to you is the definition of a gentleman who respects women that is the first thing and who takes his responsibility seriously and does it in time supporting a family and supporting throughout after coming to an age of 30 and 31 taking care of family and everyone I have a different definition to work but maybe more towards kindness and respect towards women in the society I love how all the men are talking about respect respect towards women but also to other male friends to all the people to all the society I think chivalry one important quality which I would you know see in a gentleman is chivalry totally agree we need worship with this man what do you think was that one moment when you discovered the gentleman within you well actually I was dating one of my friends and the day well actually she was into her periods and I didn't know about it actually so she explained me in a way which made me that I should be taking care of her you know in that way so that's what made me truly thing and she felt that actually when I met my wife first time so at that time I discovered that we love a love story it is not that a single moment I discovered that yeah now I am become a gentleman collector so it has come gradually right with the I mean you're yeah with maturity and all these things definitely he is my father my grandfather those who but uh there is a saying that before we behind every successful man there is a woman so also the credit goes to women's also and always they are inspiring there's no some specific person in my mind which I get inspired or you know you have that quality within but you find that inspiration within yourself I think I follow Cricket a lot so I follow Ms dhoni basically he's my role model as well My Greatest Inspiration is my father and my uncle and also my maternal uh grandfather so there's some of the yes obviously my mother and yes my wife is also very supportive my dad of course everyone has one single person who is Father of course my father and one more person I'll mention my uncle uh you can start from right now it doesn't take time with your kind acts I don't think there is a time or a specific time range or that I think it comes within only everyone according to me is a gentleman but Kabhi Kabhi situations it's just a start so it's just a star you don't need time for that when you have to give a second thought for it it's always inside you so it is not like a box it's it's you cannot say it's an exam so I I'll crack this within this time or something like that or it's in University degree that within three years you do a ba or something like that [Music] so those were the men ah no no no the gentlemen of Mumbai and their thoughts out loud brought to you by the man company don't you forget to wish all the men in your life a very very happy International Men's Day this International Men's Day the man company has a very powerful message for all gentlemen in their latest film so go watch it now click the link in the caption to go check it out now and celebrate the gentleman in you foreign,M,363,5,1,"Apr 21, 2023"
The Man Company,Friendship is the ultimate adventure! | What's Hot,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0ZNvJsaWrU,"the next question is
oh sorry I don't know what I'm ready for
but I'm ready
well I can go on and on about famous
dialogues from Bollywood on friendship
but today I am here on the streets of
korega Park to find some answers as to
what friendship means to people so let's
go ahead and have this fun Gap shop with
puderi public in association with the
man company
[Music]
ah it's a comfort I guess
that's it that's a comfort zone
wow that's uh
right I think friendship is an
experience
it's it's uh it's different for
everybody
and that's one sentence
the loyalty
honesty
yeah uh someone who could be there for
you all the time uh keeping through
thick and thin I guess not just having a
friend not having friends who are there
for you when things are going well
having friends who are there for you and
times are tough a relation where you
don't have to think and you can just
unload yourself I think yeah
I think that that's what friendship is
if you can do that to someone with
someone and I think that's it uh sending
memes
[Music]
today are all about that right I mean we
all have those friends who we never talk
to but like we only just means yeah I'm
sure a lot of you can relate to it
yes absolutely I think friendship should
be thought of as genderless
if someone is your friend then they are
your friend age and gender and
everything else doesn't matter
[Music]
what a wonderful thought I love it yeah
after a certain period has passed
between that friendship
after a year if girl is giving nobody
then yeah friends otherwise
I don't think so I don't have that much
comfort the friend in like a male friend
so I don't think so
dual power absolutely I think they can I
think it's I have a couple of friends
and I've just been friends with them so
I think it it depends you know if both
is the intent is clear I think it is
possible yeah
[Music]
friends friends obviously friends
friends and friends I think that's
everybody is driving just like that's
the only answer we're getting guys we
need more variety Hello friends
um yeah okay How I Met Your Mother what
about how I met your mother is it is it
yeah okay I'd say How I Met Your Mother
and How I Met Your Mother Big Bang
Theory Big Bang Theory yeah
like we know Brooklyn nine nine so
there's this really famous and popular
kdrama called uh reply 1988 pictures and
uh mirzapur
it was about friendship
that
[Music]
um I never say anything wrong behind
your back behind their back even if
things are not fine between y'all
because at the end of the day they are
always there for you uh choices it has
taught me that I can choose who I want
to spend time with and
um it's taught me to Value people in
relationships patience that you can fall
back to those people when you need them
I think yeah that's what has taught me
and and you can be the one to other your
friends also I think both ways yeah yeah
yeah yeah you can have someone to look
up to and when you're a need for
anything yeah yeah except other people's
flaws I'd say because after being
friends with someone for so long there's
a point of time you very tend to drift
apart from your friends especially your
childhood friend so it's about accepting
other people's flaws and understanding
that you're the truest of your friends
are the people that accept you off relax
my friends I was in an all-gai school
and I'm shy when it comes to women in
any case
I have no guy friends
yeah and why is that uh
uh I don't know just always been that
way I'm a biker so I think my majority
of my community are guys so that's why
girlfriends absolutely
guy friends of you girls um yeah
yeah I have balanced
[Music]
I'd like to think I'm the 2AM friend but
I do have my do not disturb moments
I think we need to talk to your friends
about this question yes I am definitely
the 2AM friend yeah yeah do your friends
think so too absolutely absolutely and I
am the guy that people call for like
advice 2 am breakups parties always I'm
always there
because I when everybody is asleep I am
the one awake so yeah
yeah so there are nine contacts in my
phone who are uh who can call me at 2 am
but otherwise my phone is on DND today
I've had a lot of fun asking people
questions and getting to learn a thing
or two I and I really hope that you guys
enjoyed watching this video as well if
you did don't forget to watch the
gentleman's show by the man company a
one-of-a-kind podcast series
you can watch the full episodes on the
man company's official YouTube channel
and all the leading audio streaming
platforms like apple podcast Google
podcasts Spotify jio 7 wink and Ghana
don't forget to follow us for more
exciting stuff because hashtag we need
to talk
foreign
",M,205,6,2,"Apr 19, 2023"
The Man Company,Is your DAD the ultimate superhero in your life? | What's Hot,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=802qbrHjLag,foreign [Music] one thing's for sure our relationships with our dads can be a bit awkward so today let's talk to some people about their relationships with their fathers and why it's so challenging to express our love to them [Music] so here we have a gentleman and a lady and we'll be asking some interesting questions from them describe your father in just one word friend maybe yeah friend respectful hard-working expert someone I will get all my knowledge from I would describe it as loving so do you think we hold our dads to an unreasonably high standards I think most people do but I don't 100 I think it's a very reasonable standard for me my father is my motivation I don't feel like you don't feel like that yes we do and we have a habit of comparing them to somebody you know bigger in stature and then we compare everybody else to our dads so yeah we do that all the time I think that a high standard is more applicable especially when you're young but then as you grow up you realize okay we were putting so many expectations out of at the end of the day he's also human right to do that so my next question is I think I am kind of an introvert person right now it's an interview so I'm just giving answers so my dad is also of the same nature anger anger yeah same I guess you both both of them are angry yeah resilience strength patience being calm at the most chaotic situation I've got this dimple my walking style tell me who do you call more frequently your dad or your mom call or text my dad and what about you Mom Mom yeah Mom of course I call my dad I text him also Mom Mom I think most of us do so what was the last text that you texted your father like what was the last message my girlfriend's picture oh and what about you mother again why do you think that we can easily communicate with our moms but when it comes to our dad it is not usually the same I think moms have a little soft corner for their children so that is the reason otherwise fathers are little harder to make them understand so that's why we prefer to speak with a mom instead of a father like for me it's kind of a reverse thing I think as we are all growing women's we think that our mom would connect with us more as they would understand us we women understand each other better than a father would I think it's easier to show towards both of them when I feel like but yeah I'm open to birth and I love them I'm more friendlier with my Dad I'm more close to my dad and I have no issue sharing any kind of topic that a girl would share with her mom that I would share with my dad so have you ever said I love you to your dad and if yes then what when was it like the last time that you said I love you that yesterday also that was a long long time ago years ago not frequently maybe once in a blue moon make it in a year but otherwise daily in my remembrance for sure I did that today morning can we have that right now too love you Papa hello Papa ah I love you probably a month ago I say it every day I said it just before I left my house today morning when he dropped me off to the mall so sweet and what was his reaction like he just hugged me yeah yes never yes I have and you know as a matter of fact the first time that I really saw him crying crying emotional was when I got married I think maybe when his mom passed away yeah many times yes I have and it's mostly when I get hurt he also gets hurt seeing me hurt one of the moments that you can recall when I performed this kathak performance and he was really proud and he was standing and clapping and he was really happy and emotional about it do you think we can do anything to improve our communication with our dad spend more time with her dad I think it is both ways both the party should be willing to you know put in an effort in making their relationship better I think we spend more time talking to moms giving them more time and you know spending more time with them I think time is the key you spend more time you get to know them more that's an indirect way of knowing and you know getting closer to one another I think time for me is the case [Music] every day when I wake up I see him first then I go and do anything else so that's the first thing I hug him and every day at night when I say good night I hug him oh yes all the time I love hugging him you know we'll be lucky to see that happening right now live on the camera yes of course that's now the last question there you go describe the modern gentle man in one word one who believe that for the future for their children so it's a blend of everything if you ask me what I feel is a difference since I'm a mom and my husband of course is a father so what I feel is different from in a modern day man from a dad who was like you know some 20 years ago is the involvement with the kids we just go with the flu and treat everyone nicely impatient and you generous my dad obviously now that's a super ban so for sure I hope your dad gets to watch this for sure so here is something very special for you for answering everything so candidly and wisely this is the man companies hamper for you so lovely perfume from the man company for your dad we have a special gift for you from the man company guys so that you have this amazing time to the dad and you know just be with them in the same Aura and the same fragrance so we have a very small goodie for you from the man company this is for you and of course do give it to your dad thank you so much thank you for your time thank you all right ladies thank you so much for being a part of this fun video this was an association with the man company thank you well that's a wrap on this very special edition of dub shop please do follow what's up Delhi and the man company on Instagram and do not forget to tune in to the gentleman show by the man company a very special one-of-a-kind podcast series and you can watch the full episodes on the man from peace official YouTube channel and on all leading audio streaming platforms like Google's podcast Apple podcast Wings jio 7 Spotify and Ghana and don't forget to follow us for more exciting stuff because hashtag we need to talk [Applause] thank you,M,119,1,0,"Apr 13, 2023"
The Man Company,The Gentleman Show | EP 04 | What's Your Gender | Nitasha Biswas | @arnabpapu ,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVS9uuMk-m4,A wide spectrum of gender and identities and sexuality and whatnot so lgbtqia plus stands for lesbian gay bisexual transgender queer intersex and ally and there's a plus because i think the plus is there because um you know till date we have come so far with so many genders at the moment and the different um virtues of being born in this world right so i think it's going to be more than plus so i think what's your pleasure would it's more about you know you we want to cover everyone because there might be people who do not identify as one of them and any of these their existence is still valid of course so that's the reason and we are unaware about it so that's the reason we you know want to cover everyone and be more inclusive and that's the plus basic questions because i feel that we get like they've heard transgender but they don't know what cisgender is yeah so up uh can one of you or both of you define for me cisgender transgender what is intersex what is cross-dressing let's just you know clear them first before answering this question it's very important to know that what is sex at birth what is gender and what is sexual orientation so let's start with that sex or gender make africa sex i mean sex is good and gender wow okay gender is uh you know i am born uh i'm assigned male at birth but then i don't think from my heart and mind that i'm a i'm a guy okay so then i am identify i identify myself as a as a as something different than my assigned than my uh sex at birth someone is born male assigned male 1 i'll tell you my example i'm i'm born with sex at my sex at birth is male so is mine yeah yeah i i identify from my mind and heart as a male so i'm a cisgendered man okay so i am also cisgendered man so if you if you were born to all my listeners i'm just explaining if you are assigned male at birth and you also identify as a man then you're cisgender yours is gendered and now sexual orientation is a very different thing now as a man i am attracted towards another man then it's i'm gay and that's got nothing to do with your gender that's not got nothing to do with these other two you know uh fields which i have explained so but you know i would not say that i'm 100 correct because it's a very very difficult and complicated topic so i think there are always difference in opinions and we are we should be able to accept those opinions i'm saying that gay people can also be cisgender yep i'm a cisgendered gay man right and understood okay and natasha tell us about the difference between like transgenders and cisgenders so like what happened was um when i was born so i was assigned male and birth but um as with time i grew i decided that um i was i was not in the right body so i want to change i want to change my um you know what i was assigned at birth i wanted to be a female i want to be a woman so i underwent transition and i underwent my surgeries and everything to be called as a woman at this point of time so what happens over here is that um i've transitioned to be a woman and when i talk about the cisgender women is someone who is assigned female at birth or women at birth so that is exactly the difference over here so in in simpler terms like uh transgender people are people who are assigned one thing at birth right but they identify something gender right the one they have so then do they have to undergo surgery to be trans not necessarily i think it's a very great question because um you know bob to my belief that i wanted it so it's my free will to do it so someone there like there might be a lot of other twins women who do not want to do it so it's i think it's a free will also accessibility definitely so you know let me put it like this when i started my transition that was back in 2015 long time ago so what happens over there is there was a phase in my life where i went to my psychologist i went to my psychiatrist because it was necessary to have these two people the signing before my surgeries happen because they undergo rigorous um evaluation to understand what they are they really wanting to be of the opposite gender right so whatever what happens over here is um i had to cross this for a while to understand how it feels to wear a bra how it feels to wear a panty i'm just going a little bit more inner so people understand how does it feel when i wear a dress so over here i feel good so that is exactly i was given that green signal that yes you can go ahead and have your surgery right so when it comes to cross-dresser a person doesn't necessarily have to have i mean have a surgery undergone why because you know the person is happy as what the expression they are showing so again over here then comes the non-binary there's a lot of it's like a chain enough like incan link we've talked about men we've talked about women we've talked about trans people there is like there are non-binary people there are gender fluid people also right joe who don't so can you explain what gender fluid people and non-binary so people believe see we have always lived in a world where everything is defined by binary a male and a female and one yeah so those are the two digits right so it is high time we understand that there can be different uh you know kinds of people within that spectrum of zero and one some defined some undefined some yet to be defined and that's where non-binary comes non-binary means it's a non-zero or a non-one it can be 0.1 it can be 0.4 so how much you know towards male or towards female you know those two binaries i feel like so they don't necessarily identify as either basis either way then also i know one particular one but suppose i'm dressed i feel like a man today it might happen that tomorrow i feel like a woman so i don't define it you know uh regularly but then that's how i feel i can't help it so those are non-binaries okay and it's it is none of your business what another person identifies one point i always make angus is that uh whenever you are you know trying to break out of the rule you become an exception and an exception always stands out so no one wants to be an exception in a given point of time if someone is trying hard to become an exception out of uh the in spite of facing all the ridicule and you know the hap you know all the fun being made at that means just imagine how strongly that person believes that this is what i want exactly i think that's where you know i can i should put a word here because um how badly i needed that right and how badly i needed that body because the feeling is euphoria when you have undergone your journey i would say and i mean i would love to share it here when i saw my body first time in the mirror without i think skin is the best clothing on on our body so it feels euphoria and that is exactly he just put it in his voice but okay so natasha i want to talk to you about this whole journey and if you don't mind sharing with us because i feel that it may inspire people listening to this it may also make more people understand what it is really like to be trans and growing up trans right right because i'm pretty sure that things were difficult before you realized you know what being trans is so can we start from the beginning can you tell us about your story so like um like i come from calcutta i was in a all boys school in san serious calcutta so of course bullying has been a part of my life since um i was little feminine when i was a boy when i was a young boy so it's like you know like those visions coming right now so it's like um you know fighting yourself every day when you go to school and you get to meet your class friends and i remember staying alone from the rest of the boys because i would just not go out and play football cricket on all the physical activities that guys would tend to do during that time remember i'm talking about 2015 now long time back so then what happens over here is um so like growing in that atmosphere being called names and you know certain way to behave then you go back home then i think my only friends were my servants in the house when i was young right so since my father's father was an ice officer i was staying in a huge house and everything so i couldn't gel with my other neighbors but the boys were there so it was tough but did you always know that you're trans or it took a while a woman i would say i always knew i was a woman okay so deep down within me so i think that is exactly i knew from then at what age what age was this i um i remember going through a lot of journeys that time when the first internet dropped in into calcutta so my father got the internet so we had computer classes and my elder brother who was in the same school so he told him that you know i think this is what i represent i feel like i remember my brother giving me a porn cd in class sevens class ten or nine i might be wrong he said you should see the chemistry between a male and a female that time and i was like okay i'm the female right he literally switched it on and said i'm going to go to the other room and see what happens so maybe this is a phase he told me it's a phase in your life that eventually will like the women body i said no i don't want to you're just forcing me to do something that i don't want to right and that's wrong and at that time to reach i knew that so i think it was in class seven when i started this but did you know when people react like that did it make you question yourself did it make you feel like there's something not uh you know you're different from other people well definitely you know imagine um when a child goes to school and uh you've been boycotted not been spoken to because of your behavior called names like [ __ ] and everything i think that breaks the spirit of the child it breaks because a child doesn't know until you tell them so it made me believe that i'm different which i was not you know so it made me believe that okay i'm different because this is how the world thinks about me so yeah that i think it was tough i would definitely say it was tough enough is in very deep thought right now do you yeah are you thinking about your experiences yeah because she's talking about 2015 i came way back because i'm much older to other people so over here so when i came out i mean i would if i talk about my journey i think uh my father expired when i was a little kid and i was born and brought up you know i was brought up by my sister and my mother it was always the female members who was surrounding me so many times uh it has been told that you are gay because you were always surrounded by women and as you mentioned i've also heard you know if you have a lot of female energy around you so you know so it it makes me question their education because if a girl is being surrounded by a lot of men would he become a boy so that's my i mean you know you know what i mean i mean so you can't become yeah you can't become this is not something which i have chosen this is what i am so and uh as she mentioned that i was also not much interested in sports while my cousins and all my friends were busy you know playing table tennis and football and cricket i was i was very happy and comfortable with playing with dolls but then the rules were my i come from a very orthodox bengali family so they're like oh why is he not playing qriket he should be you know he should be going there learn character and all that but slowly and steadily i realized you know that uh i am different and i'm okay with my difference so when you are confident about yourself when you act self accept yourself then what the third person is thinking about me doesn't make any difference so that gave me a lot of confidence and also you know my first boyfriend whom i met in college that person made me realize that i'm not the only one because i didn't have internet access then so when i saw that okay there can be people like me i was already self-accepted myself then i saw a third person and you were like okay you're huge was i'm like like both of you said you talked about being effeminate as a child right so did uh arnab and that's that was your journey to realizing that you're gay but there may be so many gay people who may not be effeminate as kids right for sure i mean this is not a formula there's no see over the years we have uh we have marked that okay pink is for women blue is for men we have gender we have given gender to everything possible we have given characteristics to everything so these are all social constructs i was asking my sister she has equal potential like me that why have you never you know done something else why have you always been a school teacher because she's like you know we have been blown up in a way brought up in a way that no longer school teachers scope a few professions that were accepted yeah so which is ridiculous but then yeah right so coming back to you then where did you go from there when you realized that okay you're a woman but did the world around you believe that just because you believe that well um i remember coming out to my elder brother first and um i would just not come out to my brother to my father because he was very strict sorry one second i want to cut you there and ask you one more question did you have any did you know of any um people from the community at that age or did you have any role models in your family or someone who trained i mean not from their family but then uh as i said in class seven when i had access to internet i started googling uh different transgender people and the first one came was miriam rivera so i think she was killed or something later on i got to know but then a lot of other girls like um there's news that i would like to say that uh carolyn cossey was one of the first transgender james bond girl in back in 90s so a lot of people doesn't even know about it right so i started following these people's journey read about them i can't imagine having nobody to talk to about this when you're realizing such a big truth about yourself oh yes and depending on just the internet all by yourself that must have been yeah so like you know like of course my internet one my computer was my friend so i used to come and um understand and you know try to get things out you know in my mind and everything so i used to like you know process it in my head and then finally tell my brother in class 8 i remember and one find i just say the spawn series of no use because you know you're just trying to put me in a box which i don't want to and then um so i knew like my father would be totally against it since um i like our numbers you know he lost his father i lost my mother when i was in class six so you know like um so i was in a very strict vigilance by my father as a mom and a dad both so then i was was he supportive of this he i mean eventually i would say he was but initially no because he would just scare me that you cannot do this and all um it was totally against it but i found my way to leave the city and come and started you left the city yeah i left after my schooling because i in class 12 i had to finish saviors since he was for 12 years and my father was you're going to davis college and i'm like no i'm not going because i have to stay back back in calcutta under his vigilance so i had to just leave right so i started applying for fashion colleges and he made me sit for clart exam eyes exam because he's a nice person he's like you have to sit for all these exams and i did sit for them and um i just tick mark whatever i wanted because i didn't want it to pass was switching cities was this one reason that you could not live your life definitely yes my relatives were not that friendly as well because they also had been not great towards my family so my father had to see a lot because of my behavior like imagine in back in calcutta we have this ritual um i'm sure that you know when we have saraswati puja we all cousins come together and then we're having drug puja in my house from 10 15 years by then and my cousins would not be like that friendly with me so i would be like oh my god like it's so bad right it must have been very very hard yeah even for you ernab like growing up because i'm guessing now your mother is very supportive of it but i mean right now everyone in the family is very supportive including my cousins uh probably ankush i would say uh because it was way long back i uh i generally don't blame them because they were not aware but because they were not aware i i can't really say that i was not tormented i was tormented because i the problems that she just mentioned i have faced similar problems and similar issues in my life that you know uh why are you dressing up like a girl why do you want to wear a bindi and at that point when i was in class two and three i didn't know that okay i'm not supposed to do it i remember days where i was crying alone and i could not even explain it to my mother that you know why i was crying because i would be very ashamed i remember one instance in my school i was in class eight my biology teacher asked me what is your gender she was making fun of me in front of the entire teacher a teacher a biology teacher had it been possible i would have told her name as well but then because i named those evils yeah but yeah yeah but that incident was so scary for me with 66 other because i remember there were 67 students in the class and others all other 66 people laughing at must have been humiliating it was very humiliating i don't remember what i have done to ask me that question and i might my question right now would have been how dare you and it was obviously done to shame you and not to shame me it was not a genuine question and you won't believe me she was one of those teachers in school whom everyone would look up to she was dressed up very smartly and you know she was one of those fancy teachers i would say and she asked me this question but till date that incident is there in my fresh in my mind yeah do you ever get like for example i was also bullied as a child and i feel that now i have overcome all of that but one mention of these incidents and they're very fresh in my memory yeah so is it the same i'm sure it was well um since our numbers mentioned biology teacher i mean let's not name these evil spirits you know first of all so good for them actually right now right now yeah so you know what happened over here was uh i had a teacher who would imitate me in front of my 50 other art students so when that time i was in class 10 my icsc was on the way so i remembered i think it was a maths class or yeah it was let's um let's not get into too much of details as well so the teacher comes and i mean i as a normal student i would just say that i had a question for a certain number you know for like for a certain subject right the syllabus so then uh like he would imitate me so you know i mean that's like and the entire class would laugh imagine teachers doing this they're supposed to teach you and they're supposed to be good role models wow so the enter class would laugh and you imagine that the teacher is there for 40 45 minutes and teaching and he's gone so what i'm going through the rest of the day from 9am to 3pm so you know they would just um you know they would do the same thing because you know teachers are supposed to be teaching students so if you're teaching this to bully others you're adding on fool to fire so that is exactly transphobia homophobia it's not deep probably those teachers didn't realize what they were doing no probably that same teacher would behave completely differently right now because i'm sure she's a well-read woman and she wouldn't evolved she has evolved so in my case i most of the times you know uh pardon a lot of people thinking that okay it was way too back but that teacher i could not pardon honestly for example now your parents are supportive of your parents supportive yeah i think the tables turned for me after i uh when my father saw the first article in calcutta news that i was the first kolkata trans woman to win a beauty pageant so that is where my turning point happened so my father would um i remember not speaking to him for quite a long time because for him it was very hard to understand that um you know his son is a she now right so he tried all his best so when you transitioned do you remember the day when after the transition you met your parents oh yes yes so i think um the best part of my life was when um when i won the pageant in 2017 and once again for all the listeners transition meaning that you underwent a surgery surgery to call myself a woman okay i'm just like like a physical surgery a physical cemetery okay so you know buzz what happened was when i went back to calcutta so what happened was um i met him right my father so for the first time in human flesh he saw me like that and i met all his um his colleagues and the most shocking people yes i met all his colleagues and they kind of you know like inaugurated me with the flowers because i made my father proud right and there were other ice officers high police officers and everything and out of which one i used to call g2 when i was young like g2 uh in bengali we say that so he comes and he was crying okay i think he was not drunk then so you know he was not drunken he was he was crying and holding my hand and his wife was there auntie was there so it was only my hand i said uncle why are you crying and then he says then you know what natasha when i was young you can imagine when i was young he's like plus 60 right i kind of um wore my mom's my sister's frock and my father would come and beat me up beat my [ __ ] out of me that evening right so seeing you i realized that what you have changed in our minds so i think that gave me a lot of courage and that's impact that's a huge impact and i was i had to use in my eyes and i was i'm getting goosebumps right now because i think that incident was very touchy in my in my mind that time i just want to say i'm very very proud of you yeah thank you honor i think one small uh you know point which i want to make crying do you not think that sometimes i'm not defending people but i'm just saying sometimes sympathizing may be a way of them showing support or is that not how you're supposed to i think you should show support we are talking about equality no one wants normalizing and normalizing the more you will sympathize the bigger the problem becomes because it's always you're always looked in a different look with a different special place are you saying that if you tell someone that if you come out to someone or if you tell them your story what is an appropriate response is there any i mean i mean depends also uh generally i would not tell my story to everyone for i can give you a small incident which happened yesterday after podcast i mean but then uh i came out to a colleague like very very uh you know normally without any without much hustle and but he didn't react and that's exactly the reaction we want he didn't react he didn't say anything but i was thinking you're so used to being giving you some big thing has happened oh my god it's fine to just have uh being gay is okay it's you know that you know so i was talking to this uh trans person once and she told me that according to her it's very personal that's what she said she said it's very personal but i like the reactions where there is no reaction because that's the only time where i feel like what i look like what my identity is not a point of conversation i tell people something they they're like okay cool and yeah that's normal that's normalizing it in the real estate absolutely according to her the younger generation they don't they care i mean most of them the the i would i would actually not say the younger generation in in total because obviously we're talking about us we are talking about a certain section of the society educated aware of you know social media exposure exposure lives in metro cities those those handful of people they don't react but is this the same uh you know condition all over india all over rural india i'm not sure i'm not sure of course i get on uh you know social media every day by putting up very simple stuff people you know come back saying that you know you are great you are a hero i said i don't think i have done something supernatural but those things trigger you know those things make a huge impact in their life but imagine when like it's so interesting that you said supernatural thought but interesting you embracing yourself is seen as an act of heroism because that's the right that's where we are right i'm just being me and that is supposed to be a statement in itself because most people are not allowed to be there right right like as much as i'm proud of you i also feel um people are not allowed to be themselves yeah i mean many people call me privileged for that i think we are privileged but how we best utilize that privilege is also something in our hand i mean i can give you a small example which one activity we did in our office so just to give context arnab uh just company manufacture he uh does a lot of work for the community yeah yeah what what do you do total background so i work in finance but then i also uh you know lead the lgbti wing in my company so that way uh we have done a lot for social inclusion of uh the community uh but then in as a part of the activities on push i would just uh just tell you a small example uh we asked people to wear nail polish on their you know one of the fingers and ask them to hide throughout the day most of ninety percent of the people came back with a horrified experience that i can't hide my finger imagine a gay person hiding his own self throughout her or his life how difficult it can be you can't hide one finger i'm hiding myself all over you know every every time i come out wow i think they'll understand how it how does it feel it's a great maybe a fraction maybe a fraction i mean just paint one of the fingers and then i ask you to hide don't show this finger to anyone throughout the day come back to me and tell me how you feel tomorrow running into their running into your own shoes i really hope all the listeners listening to this right now well i think um definitely yes thinking it's a mixed feeling why because um i think of course little bit change has been visible but then we are not 100 yet could we have had this conversation if it was not decriminalized [Music] you could not even openly i think see being gay was never uh was never a criminal act uh i mean having uh being caught in a being caught in a sexual position with a person of same i mean same uh you know orientation or same gender i mean not the right term same sex same sex that was uh not uh legal okay but then again we had other laws joe those were very complicated natasha what do you have to say about this i think have you decided yes or no of course i mean little as i said i think i mentioned you like little change has been there but uh our number is right as well like you know by education is something that should reach each part of this land so everybody understands and what it is and without knowing how will you know who is gay who is trans person like you know till date i would say that uh in 2022 if i go uh to a village and someone will not be if i tell or someone gets to know a trans woman i think there'll be reactions still because education is not reached in that land on that part of india legally problem near socially yes i think society society wise there's a lot to do we have not even near the ten legally problems because uh yeah section 37 decriminalizes homosexuality but it has not given us equal rights we can't marry we can't uh have inheritance of property uh we can't divorce we can't do a lot of stuff inheritance is property in returns a property from i mean if i have a partner there is no inheritance of property of by the partner how it is in the cisgender yeah partners so there are multiple issues still there so i mean whether i want to get married or not that's a personal question probably i don't know but i have to i should have the option of saying yes or no so i'm not very sure so i would not comment about surrogacy and adoption so i think there are problems there as well so legally are we there we are not there um i want to ask you this after you transitioned mm-hmm um it obviously changed the way you look my life's changed yeah your life changed right has dating been more difficult after uh you know your transition so you know i will uh say that uh dating live of course um being on like of course i used to use few of the social apps too we're humans we want friends we look out for new people so then when i was like you know swiping on you know men in the town so there were times that um i would get a lot of swipes because of my pictures or maybe some guy likes me or but the way i look away i talk whatever so you know someone has liked me and then then comes the hard part so before that hard part comes i've kept in my mind i used to mention transgender women so i don't want to our question that in in a separate part does it put you in an uncomfortable spot when the conversation gets to there because you know what my imagine i'm dating a sweet guy tomorrow and um a heterosexual guy so if the person doesn't know about my past i have to say eventually right because i've had a incident like this back in bomby where i was dating this guy so i just randomly met him at a club in south bambi and uh so he didn't know about me we met at a club loud music and everything so he didn't know about me and then eventually i found that he was having feelings for me i would hang out with him for coffees and everything so eventually i had to come out to him and tell him so then it's like i'm liking the guy as well and if i tell him i'm transitioning so my what the hell is this oh [ __ ] so it's of course it is so you know i think dating side very few people will understand they have this mind like a heterosexual guy in my historic movements and everything that i would have understood that is the guy would ask you why are you operated or you have you have you been through the process have you not been through the process or you look operated this is the kind of things that i've got because okay how are you so possible right so that's possible like someone cannot understand that you're a transgendered person okay yeah i'm sorry so i'm guessing that the situation would be much worse for some men it might not be possible right and that is where my voice was for my international pageants that i said that you know my voice for all those girls my heart goes out to them because i've seen a little bit maybe out of hundred i've seen twenty percent of it someone who will go through this eighty percent of it is so hard their life is said to say maybe or possible aspect what is your opinion on that because isn't that also kind of celebrating possible as a trans person so you know i think beauty pageant um would say like since i was in the india's first transgender beauty pageant so i think that was fine india so i think personally that video pageants are done to empower the community at this point of time but at this point at this point of time but eventually when i go to 2040s 2050s or beyond that i do see pageants where all genders are being celebrated you know so we are going there over time so like if we can only if we say that let's do miss india for everyone there will be a problem now because right now the education has not reached every part so you know what is specified pronouns when i say specified pronouns it means letter do you see me and you will say okay i'll address her as she her hers that would be my first reaction reaction because of the ideal condition condition right when you see our number it will be him uh his right so what happens over here these are called specified uh pronouns apart from that there are people who want to be dressed as they that them right so uh non-binary they don't want to necessarily be called a man or a woman basically in the binary system they don't want to focus so generally the term generally is very important a cisgendered man would say that he has his pronouns as he him his cisgendered woman would say my pronouns is she her hers so basically if you were assigned female at birth and you identify as a woman so generally generally she would say that my pronoun is she her hers but there can be conditions that she might not right exactly gender is something which we identify these are the traits of a man he looks like a man uh the short pant penis but then uh ideally i would say that in most of the cases they are correct but there are cases uh where you are not correct and in no way if it's a 10 percent that doesn't mean that they are not important of course they are equally important so you know we don't know enough people who have come out as right anything so if you're not confident what i feel unquote even many a times i face situations where i was not sure that what is the correct pronoun to use very politely and there are ways of asking you can ask that listen mr x or mrs white or miss x miss by joby okay i'm not very sure sorry mr and mrs the first question you ask every time you meet someone yeah every time you're confused i think you know i'm i have a solution here just trying to oh there's a solution you know the best way to put it politely is like tomorrow i see someone i would say hi good evening what are your pronouns or how can i address you as yeah how politely you can ask but so i just want to understand how do we make this a thing that people actually follow okay um you know what i mean i mean see again there's a uh i see educated working class probably they are aware of if you ask you know someone not within the specified spectrum that okay you ask me my pronoun before they will say what [ __ ] is talking right so it's easier said than done but there should be a starting point it has already started in uh in one location in one in one section of the society it has started uh and we should uh we should try encouraging it more but then uh how fast we can do it is a very difficult question and also you know not practical it's not practical i mean because every conversation doesn't start like no and also if mother intention genuinely interested if you really want to know ask it otherwise don't really i have a i have a uh i would severely mind if someone wants to behave very inclusive in public and show that oh my god i'm aware of it and ask what is your preferred phone number she actually he or she gives up you know doesn't care and they don't use them properly don't use them properly just to be cool you don't have to ask it ok so especially someone who's not very sensitive about these topics and hasn't read a lot she okay this person's pronouns are not he him looks like how a man dresses but the pronoun like do you apologize do you i do okay of course okay in a corporate sector i do think yeah but not all i mean i think it should be in regular life as well so i apologize yeah i'm so sorry to you know but dress you as that so thank you for making me correct i think how beautiful you can say that also you know in many we are trained that how gender neutral we can be instead of saying that hi boys and girls hi ladies and gentlemen just i'm addressing you too as guys guys so tell me so in my office if you write an email with hi guys we have the right not to respond to you wow yeah you always have to use gender neutral language like hi friends and folks which is no gender someone someone wrote an email that to the chairman and the email was declined because it should be chaired person not chairman how willing are you to learn because i wrote one email saying manpower planning my manager declined the meeting saying make it resource planning because manpower yeah so gender neutral terms of the way yeah like hello people it's the safest yeah fair yeah and i also think that if you know you're addressing a crowd okay if you just say hello folks hello people everybody feels included yeah exactly right you know what i mean yeah very good point you know i think psychologically you feel well i'm a part of it yeah yeah you're addressing me as well and enough so about coming up let's talk talk about sorry coming out let's talk about coming up how how difficult is it has it been for you to come out versus like in general also how difficult i'm sure you know a lot more stories of you know queer people how difficult is it really to come out it depends on a lot of social and economic uh you know condition because uh most of the time financial financial conditions because for me it was difficult because i was not sure uh you know how my family would react it wasn't i mean many people would say that okay you are privileged and you have a you know you have a very easy life but then uh i wrote my own story it wasn't very easy in the beginning because i also had my share of you know humiliation and cross questioning and i was also taken to a doctor that you know is my son you know what what is he saying so but then uh with education if i could change the mind of my mother and also i come from a huge joint family with 300 you know relatives with the same surname i have successfully changed all their mind they're very very comfortable with you know the queer community the lgbtiq community they know a lot about it because i have spread word about it so uh now it is easy but coming out was difficult it is still difficult for most of the people in india i think it's also very you know personal decision whether you really want to come out or not because if a straight person is not coming out and calling out loud in public then i don't think uh straight insane i see my intention is very different because i am very comfortable i want to talk about it because there should be someone who should be talking about are you willing to make that i'm willing to make that impact not everyone is comfortable so coming out not coming out is something you know very very personal but it is still very difficult when you decide to come out to someone see i generally i don't look at any quality i come out to everyone because i'm just being me so as i said that in a gym i would still say oh my god this guy is hot and obviously my you know it's all almost like coming out and then the one question is and whether you accept it or you don't accept it it's your problem it's not my problem after you transitioned right and then they meet you again so how has that been like because it's like you have made the change that you wanted to mm-hmm and you have accepted yourself but bakilo bibi still lagging behind so i think um you know like a lot of people have uh my like out of 10 friends five has been lost in that journey he lost friends yes because transitioned because i transitioned they had a problem or they couldn't take me whatever you've done you've done with your body with my body but then they had a problem i don't know why i still figured out some time but i tell that that i think the universe pushed them out so you're glad i'm glad good actually it's good riddance yeah so probably you know something was there in the karmic connections it's gone so i think it's good because you know if they couldn't have accepted me during that time so there's so many other trans women they will be coming across will do the same thing right so what's the use and also let's talk about they don't want to grow let's also talk about how unsafe life is for trans people in general like i mean you could still afford the surgery you could eventually get there but there are so many people who struggle for like shelter right there's so many of them that we see on the streets mm-hmm and they have also been kind of what's up and you know it's almost become it's become an insult word as a trans person what do you want to say because but people who are struggling out on the roads also whatever traffic signals pay red lights life must be really hard for them right of course life is i'm sure because you know um i was doing this uh documentary on uh the transgender life when i was in my media college in uh calcutta so what happened was uh that was my first year i remember that was my project right so i literally went shona garcia is one of the most highlighted places in the world like for uh prostitution and for red you know these work so he went there and i saw this uh you literally get 15 rupees a person in a night to millions of money over there so you saw these trans girls who are standing and i on purpose went and i asked because i wanted to know that johnny to one of them i asked and she was like going to get a meal for like you know for a night by sleeping with someone it touched my heart like why would she do this you know why does she has to do this and go through so much of pain right so i personally feel that um this is happening because insensitivity towards the community first second would be lack of education again comes back third is the government how much of extension of hand the government is giving as well talk about being gay and what are the things that people don't understand about gay people i mean uh i'm gay but then i'm not sexually frustrated that's what i want to say because the moment you come out to a straight man i'm like i have faced this so many times in my life that i'm getting like oh don't touch my listeners there are different kinds of subtle homophobia i mean you know you accept a gay friend but you don't accept your gay brother this is great you know i'm one of those liberal mothers i wouldn't mind my son being gay next day when the sun comes out i have this example in my family she howled and cried my son is gay my son is gay i know what happened to those dialogues two years back huh so uh those are subtle homophobia there are there is subtle homophobia within the community too there are many gay people who would say are they typical you are not you know this is not one of those behaviors this is all the homophobia what is typical who is gay he dresses up like he doesn't have any traits uh which is like visibly you know just straight passing by and then you would say why do you so typically this is also a homophobic behavior homophobic dialogue i mean you're too gay for our liking huh you know so there can be and what about like what are the common things that people say to transphobic you know what i mean there are various ways you can show it one is uh which i have faced with silent discrimination when i used to work and when i started working at a company so i would like initial days when i transitioned i would definitely feel that you know i was not a part of the company when people are having dinner you know lunches together and everything i would not be called because in oki or she's transitioning i don't know what is she doing this typical mindset of having that oh she's transitioning means means she's sleeping around i'm sorry i'm not available for everyone you know there's likings between people right so you know that mindset i think this these are like what transphobic behavior end of the day because you are not playing a part to be together when you're having lunches to talk to your fellow colleagues and everything and the second is i definitely feel that transgender means easily a lay down that's the wrong conception i would just not want to sleep until it's without the consent of two persons why would i get attracted to every man i have my choices i have my free will towards the mind so i think that is one so and then third is like you know i feel that um this is changing i believe because with my uh experience of dating then till last few years um and i shared this with my partner as well that earlier things were like oh she's a trance means let's meet her at the corner understand her this and that and everything but things are changing on that so that's a transphobic behavior you know the moment that you see someone trans transitioning transgender like you like oh my god i don't want to be hanging out with the person and everything but you want to sleep around have a good time so that's wrong so i was already discussing this with natasha um which is why i'm asking this um can you do you mind telling us about your surgeries and the whole process of transitioning because like we've already understood key transition for a trans person it's a very personal choice yeah again i mean it's person to person like whoever wants to do it can do it whoever doesn't want to do it it's fine like it's end of the day but for people who may want to do it what is what are the things that people need to understand about the whole process of transitioning and the surgeries and right so i think um i will place it like this that first of all surgeries are hard you know when you undergo surgery it's not easy because i have with my experience of surgeries i would say that my pain began from the time my anesthesia was over that is where the pain begins because you know yes the pain and everything comes right because once you're in the ot table you don't get to know you just like they put sedation and you're gone right you're just um senseless so i think you know over here i would say that um the surgeries i've i've gone through a series of surgeries so first one being just one month late first they do some um hormonal hrt it's hormonal therapy for rigorous three years yes that is the first one because uh during operations of course that's before the surgery so what is the first step the first step is you go to the psychologist and the psychiatrist you start having a friend to start talking right you start talking to them they tell you to cross dress that how comfortable are you to to wear those dresses and feel how women how women you feel so the cross-dressing part comes once the green signal is given by the doctors the psychologist and the psychiatrist so once they feel that yes she's ready i remember when i used to go to my psychologist and psychiatrist she would make me turn into the wall and she would sit behind me and talk she said natasha don't see me just talk to the one whatever i ask so i went through that process for almost uh three years oh i mean because you know they understand because you know they don't want a child or a person to transition and regret a lot of girls who are doing this at this point of time after surgeries they are not happy right there are lots of cases like this so they want to be 110 sure because it's a it's non-reversible process right right so that's an important decision yes so of your life so that is where exactly when you know then it happens that their charity happens where your physical attributes changes right your body becomes tender your skin becomes softer you tend to look there's a point when you will not look manly and you'll not look womanly that's few months i mean half a year when i i was so uncond i'm uncomfortable going out because people will judge you see you so you it changes the way you look yes because your feminine aspects come out you look softer your hair goes goes less grows there's a lot of things to it i'm going into the details so you know you look very um very effeminate by looks your hair is not grown it's healthy and you have your laser sessions because you don't want beard luckily i didn't go too much so you know i had less hair but then a lot of people who has to go right this friend of mine who wants to transition i told him that you need five black rupees for your laser because this huge light and beard so you know these are the things that is then then after that a lot of people wants to go for body correction like um changing the body contouring you know so then you go for your srs the sex reassignment surgery which is the gender the gender judgmentals change then onwards and then the list is endless so i had a ,M,217,5,1,"Apr 11, 2023"
The Man Company,What are your thoughts on the relevance of rupaiyya? | What's Hot,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIkzfXnpEXs,"[Music] what's hard Mumbai we are here at the beautiful Phoenix Market city kurla today for a very special reason we have an exciting edition of gupt shop in association with the man company in store for you where we will be talking to Mumbai key ladies and gentlemen about some very interesting yet relevant topics and trust me today's topic is quite relevant [Music] but how many of us are actually smart with our money Pennywise pound foolish a penny saved is a penny earned we have grown up hearing these things right but do we really understand their meaning taxes or Investments [Music] so today let's talk to some people about their Investments what Financial Independence means to them and if they are able to save money in a seamless manner do you guys have any Investments and if yes what are those Investments frankly we know I don't I don't invest money I don't need to come here and spend the money I don't believe Investments are restricted to properties and shares and stuff like that Investments yeah I have some Investments I recently bought a house so a big investment the biggest one I have investments in Gold bonds mutual funds then Equity is in the share market what are the best ways to invest for a beginner a person who's just starting out so we must have heard the tagline in mutual funds they're here so I guess that is the best investments yeah stock stockings to see the short-term higher return policies and into cryptos and share markets I think I go with something that's something like gold that's time tested what according to you is a good percentage or a good part of your monthly income to invest I would say at least 10 I mean I think the younger you are um you can put in less but I think you know if you're starting say it 35 or 40 then of course you got to put away more at least 15 to 20 this is what I feel like ten percent monthly 20 okay 20 yeah dependency again depends I buy I was throughout smiling because I spend my money I love spending my money that's the reason I work what according to you is the right age for anyone to start investing the moment you start learning that is your age I can just say that because there is no such Edge like as early as possible start from a younger age I guess because people are age tend to start earning and then their first go-to is oh they're going to spend all the money out not realizing that then that habit is never going to come in yeah whenever you're ready I think once you get your first job yeah my son's 14 and he's already talking about starting that's right they can do it right away yeah break that psychology of Hope the Market's gonna take my money away start slow and steady but do because these are the big things in that crypto I think in the next five ten years we're going to use it at GP and paytm either of you you know initially when Bitcoin started he was the one I think in the pilot team and stuff or used to tell me it's gonna be big you want to invest no you can at least like 10 to 20 not more than that because they are highly volatile no I have no knowledge about it okay at the end of the day it's it's your psychology how you look at it and people have like shares for a more stable growth cryptos for earning more so yeah like don't put all your eggs in one basket never do that I would say personal experience food never do it do you think that the younger generation is smarter about Investments and savings as compared to the previous generation of course a very big hand is the social media or a digital platform too it's the same I think you know as I said the younger generation have a lot of ideas whether or not they're practical I guess really will depend on their risk assessment and you know things like that right right now people people are getting aware about equities mutual fund you know bonds and all other things so they are pretty mature in investment yeah of course foreign nothing better than you having your own money and whenever you want to spend wherever you want to spend your juice you don't have to ask you know anyone you can just yeah since we are doing this video for the man company uh defined for me in one word the concept of the modern gentleman all of you smart caring and family oriented do you want to Define myself in one word I'd probably say inclusive I think that that best defines it I love that I love that inclusive guys that's the word competent um we have a small gift for you which you can give to your dad your brother your husband whoever like your favorite man in your life from the man company [Applause] there you go thank you there you go thank you so much thank you so much for that [Music] you so much you're welcome well that's a wrap on this very very special edition of Gupta now I'm going to get back to exploring the amazing discounts and beautiful decor here at Phoenix Market City kurla yes so check out the man company and watch out Mumbai on Instagram and don't forget to watch the gentleman's show by the man company a one-of-a-kind podcast series you can watch the full episodes on the man company's official YouTube channel and on all the leading audio streaming platforms like apple podcast Google podcast jio 7 Spotify wink and Ghana don't forget to follow us for more exciting stuff because hashtag we need to talk [Applause] foreign
",M,202,0,0,"Apr 10, 2023"
The Man Company,Beard Grooming Habits | What's Hot,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYfSaavCJ_8,this beard I have not shaved it for the last I'll be completing 10 years next year my name is nikhil and what else you want to know if Interruption is starting anyway trimming is something that I follow every day [Laughter] what's hot viewers missed me and I'm on the lookout for hunky men with Gorgeous beards to learn a thing or two about their pure grooming habits in association with the man company so come let's ask around what beard style do you find sexy um I think it's French only because I'm that's the only thing I can grow actually so I like the French beard yeah long beard one with the cone that I find sexy are you are you aiming for that yeah yeah yeah I'm aiming for that raw don't do anything about it just the one I'm uh wearing right now the one beard sir it should be trimmed uh like my style only which I have recently any beard like I think it's the base level is that if it's a beard that's all it takes yeah it just has to how about I think I like a stubble no I I think I like the caveman thing better like the full grown not very long but a subtle look what do you prefer uh for your own styling an old school razor blade or an electric shaver uh electric trimmer electric shaver for me I think an old school's razor because I don't really use the entire thing the electric one so yeah oh electric shaver and electric shaver uh easier to use and you can get it on the get-go that's that electric shaver definitely that gives Supercuts uh old school yeah yeah old school razor blade which has both sides I think uh electric shaver because it is less uh you know work for me what is the one beard routine that you follow every day I think trimming trimming is something that I follow every day [Laughter] that you guys have a lot not at all not at all not at all no I don't follow every day like it's one in a month once in a month or that way not every day I feel that beards are supposed to be scruffy it's supposed to be like a anti-establishment thing so like not doing anything about it it like that's the routine I follow I apply oil nothing really I don't have any weird routine yeah yeah maybe just uh you know if it goes out of shape I just cut it with a pair of scissors awesome uh I put oil on my beard the beard oil that's for sure every day every day I don't have a routine like you said yeah yeah every day I just wash my beard properly and then clean it and share like uh combat just to give that shape so hygiene basically the most important yes I usually apply beard oil but that too if I grow that long but normally again like current this current look is very short I'm making this I trim like every week so I don't have to put a oil or shampoo or such name one celebrity who's beard you absolutely love or you wish you had a beard like that I like it it has to be Hrithik Roshan and think of anyone right now so there's Yash obviously then there is Vicky kosher then we sing then yeah and then there is a little bit of stubble and yeah those are the top few yeah I think I like Virat kohli's beard actually that for me like that is like perfectly well groomed one so yeah but I can't get there so anyways ranveer Singh Maybe I think Bradley Cooper he has a good beard Shahid Kapoor always and racing I've not thought about it but wait uh uh Tom Hardy commodity he's got a good proper full here [Music] one beard style for the rest of your life what would it be either a mustache or a full long beard or long beard that looks super good on me because I look like a baby in clean shape no mustache no clean ship yeah both Colombia [Music] yeah and not only the Mustachio I would like to sport a mustache because I did one recently so I think I like to choose with the mustache with this one that's unique I don't like mustache it's just two maybe I like it I may look like an uncle if I grow a mustache so you know that's right yeah long beard if I could grow one that's the problem yeah but long beard I think yeah don't start shaving yourself too young trim it first and then start shaving yourself so that you have a even hair growth and um it just helps you in the longer run because grass is not always greener on the other side DIY I would suggest DIY I think if you rely on someone else to do this that's not the best way to go about it best is if you do it yourself probably trimming every day is something that's good because it'll give you a better growth I feel and I don't use a conditioner as of now but I think yeah we use a conditioner to you know the stubble won't be so hard it'll be soft so it'll be exactly so yeah I think that's about it shame every week trim every week and put shampoo or weirdo is a must um just go to the salon you know just don't do anything on your own I would say because if you mess it up then you'll have to clean everything off and then you'll have to wait till it yeah to grow back yeah that's that's the main thing I would say what is what is the one beard grooming product that you absolutely swear by well the man company I guess I think beard oils beard oils from time to time it's good for just maintaining your beard and regular basis so that's something else I think a beard conditioner yes yeah I guess I'll start using it maybe then our bonus question for you uh like I said I like a stubble no no never clean shaving so clean shaven men look naked to me I think the face has to be you know it's like the gay now of men more than Myriad a clean shaven and why any comment on that bye I feel them to be young without fear could not exactly stumble a bit more than that but I think a full beard is just way too much I like more of like a youthful but not too boyish sort of look today I've had so much fun talking to people about their beards and grooming habits I really hope you guys enjoyed watching this video as well but peeps don't forget to watch the gentleman's show by the man company a one-of-a-kind podcast series you can watch the full episodes on the man company's official YouTube channel and on all the leading audio streaming platforms like apple podcasts Google podcast Geo 7 Spotify wink and Ghana and don't forget to follow us for more exciting stuff because hashtag we need to talk [Music],M,273,4,0,"Apr 7, 2023"
The Man Company,"Do you believe in love at first sight? 😋 | What's Hot",https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkSHRPG4bJs,foreign [Music] He Loves Me He Loves Me Not he loves me he loves me not oh hey hi all you love birds well Valentine's Day is just around the corner so we are on the streets of Delhi to find out if people believe in love at first sight or do First Impressions matter so let's go and find out so tell me do you believe in love at first sight or falling for someone after knowing them for years and why I feel that knowing a person for years and then falling in love for him is actually pretty good because in that case there is a better compatibility and a better adjustment for me it would definitely be calling to someone after years of knowing them obviously you can't tell in one day I believe in love at first sight because I feel like it's the universe's way of telling us that they have something with them oh I totally believe in in the love at first sight oh why well I think that love is just an emotion so it just happened so then we do you believe in arranged marriages or love marriages love marriages oh definitely oh now I believe in arranged marriages like my father and my mother whomsoever they will choose for me will be a far more better person in all terms in the present I don't believe either in love marriage or arranged marriage both work just fine my pick would be love obviously because there should be choice because I think in Magic there are things such as where you don't have a choice but I think it comes down to marriage only I I agree with the orange managers well if you ask me like a year back I would have said love marriages but as of the moment I have Supreme faith in my parents so tell me would you date someone older or younger than you well not younger not older who is my age I think he can understand me better no not younger actually because I want my partner to be more mature than me definitely I don't think so age is an area for not just for me but for everyone as well for me wipes match only I think that the same age is the best match but well it loves and just happens so yeah perfume deal uh that can enhance the smell of the butt oh I think that a nice invitation for food it's the best plan yeah it's simple it's emotional is is the best plan I think commitment is the best gift okay that's sweet tell me what according to you is the best Valentine's Day gift for a girl uh understanding partner who can respect someone is the best Valentine in their gift he can give anything that is personal to them like that reminds them of the person that they are and their respective Partners I think the best Valentine's Day gift a girl can get is her man showing her how much he appreciates her to have a love song written about you or a romantic book written about a romantic book hands down because that's a lot more detail so kritika tell me one last thing if your man was a fragrance what would he smell like okay I'm a fragrance connoisseur so I would say um during the Summers he should have the Sea Breeze and something very clean and minimalistic during the winters definitely something on the government sense creamy and something like that and during late night something special that is just something I only know ah you know when it rains yeah yeah so the smell of that the mud okay that I just love that smell so if my man would smell like that which is I think not possible a honey Bean oh that's sweet that's kind uh sweet you know I think he would smell like Sandalwood a musk and Patchouli tell me one thing that is lovely and one thing that is annoying about each other annoying things she's very lazy at times and if you love sleeping the way she takes care of me and my kids that's you know what I love about her annoying fist would be he gets quite irritating at time with his spontaneous jokes and loving would be his caring nature he surprises me a lot so he gives me a lot of surprises annoying snoring too many of my new things you know she takes care of them even I don't and annoying is uh she's short-term so the one thing that I find lovely about him is that he is very caring excessively annoying about him is that he never picks up my calls whenever he is with his friends he never responds to my text that's something really annoying she respects me my family and her friends also and never disappoints me in anything but one thing that will always be is she get very irritated in small small things he is very very much caring okay and annoying people is my leg every time one selfless thing that he does for you that makes you happy he buys me flaws oh that's quite cute and what about you every time it's like uh whenever I want something or I just never ever mentioned it I just want this or I like this she just arrange it from anywhere no I can ask her to cook me cook anything for me at any time during the day and she'll do it for me like if I'm lazing around he won't disturb me so he'll take care of the kids see house and everything so that's right oh that's the best part I wish someone does the same for me as well okay so tell me one thing that you found attractive in him when you guys first met uh like her smile and uh it's her cuteness she's so cute like he's walking from there and I was like please God please hide me somewhere he's so cute I feel very simple her Simplicity was the best thing his looks and his the way he carries himself he was actually very funny but now I am the one who gets up roasted five years ago it was love at first sight I think he is cute and I really love his hair I agree yeah he is cute tell me if you had to gift him something special for the Valentine's Day from the man company what product would it be that grooming kit it's really nice my friends have used it so that beard while I'll give grooming kit it would be a fragrance a perfume so related to this only if your man was a fragrance what would he smell like since we both like donuts it's white chocolate donut a Musky and Woody yeah uh I would say vanilla vanilla and that's soft and sweet yeah yeah can you smell that well let me tell you that love is in the air and after this fun cup shop I'm sure you'll definitely feel the same so if you want to get something special for your Valentine then log on to www dot themancompany.com or download the app and shop for exclusive Valentine's Day gifts where you can even personalize the gift with a picture and a message not just that you can even check out their amazing Valentine's Day combos as well so go shop now oh [Music],M,329,7,1,"Apr 6, 2023"
The Man Company,The Gentleman Show | S1E20 | What’s That Smell? | @ankushbahuguna | @AbixVlogs,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nig1vujwbhk,don't forget to like comment share subscribe and press the Bell icon so that the next time the episode comes up you get a notification this brings me actually to a very important question okay so ideally it should be on your pulse points pulse points pulse points like like your wrist okay right where it's pulsating right so you ideally it should be your both your wrists and the worst thing that people end up doing is this you're basically rubbing all the scents and the chemicals together and it will ruin it oh you are very much boy boy looking foreign like there are a lot of boys who also complain they reject us [Music] some friends on us because we are nice foreign Ty is a lot of times means your power it's more about male pleasure as per the patriarchal society we are living in but that is not right hello everyone with a big thank you for all the love that has been pouring in regular listeners but I'm sure there will be more people tuning in for this particular episode so for them this is ankush bagna you have tuned into the gentleman show by the man company or yeah and we have with us a luxury lifestyle influencer content creator and someone I've known for like a really long time now hi I'm Chris how are you I am good but I know that you're hating on us right now he's like that's not my first rodeo you know I've done this before but how are you feeling are you are you nervous it's so good to have you on my first podcast I'm I'm enjoying it when I got roped into this and I was like okay ankush is doing it Fab we don't need to break any ice at everything yeah we've broken many cubes of ice there is no ice cream we've known each other for years now and I feel that episode if we have enough with us so yeah it's uh okay okay let's just lose this here this is very uncomfortable I want to sit like this so why I got you here was that this topic is very interesting and you have this image of being the luxury influencer and you know he's very very proper and everything behind the scenes but behind the scenes behind the scenes are very it's it's fun to see the behind the scenes yeah that's the thing I'm happy I'm going to be candid on this one for sure I think it's podcasts I think that would be a reality show bro yeah yeah and um which is a very impolite question but it's you so I'm going to ask you that has someone ever told you that you smell really bad you know this is the thing I yeah 100 and uh just like anyone you know who encounters a question like this you know you really start questioning everything you know [ __ ] like you know you you're kind of like shaken away from your comfort zone so I was in a school trip I was I think I was in 11th or 12th grade and uh over school trips right here and stuff obviously you know it's like a full grade of school students they are going past and stuff and you know it's Summers and you know as school students you know two into the whole thing at least you know was not available yeah exactly like today kids are like very into it and at that time I remember this girl very so I by the way I didn't study in India I studied uh abroad in Brussels there's no flex over there it's just what it is but the point is that you know I was always surrounded by you know foreigners you know Americans Germans and so on so this is very pretty girl she was sitting I think behind me like could you please put some deodorant on okay you're stinking and I'm not joking that that thing you can take a man out of India but you can't take India but like I mean you know call it the college care school kids you know your your testosterone your hormones are on a different Flex so that little tap was like like you know and then suddenly when she puts you down like that playing in the background I saw where if if that's the perfect song and then you know the rest of the class so did it become a joke it became a joke for at least like you know half an hour 45 minutes or something which is embarrassing you know for a kid also so you're just like not talking to people then I'm not joking it was just like I was shocked that was the thing like I normally am not like lost for words but like at that time I was just like I was put down quite badly situations or like you know like it was just a faux pas for the moment or something nothing like that right I was like yeah was it you enjoy my stink there's no other choice but he was it body odor was it a bad perfume it was body odor man because you know it was like you were traveling you know you're sweating and it's not like okay it's just that galties like what do you think what is your opinion on this is it rude to tell someone that you you know he's thinking so there's a way of saying it exactly there is a correct way of saying it see I I think directly you know by saying yo like you know stinking you know or like or something you know so you know they will automatically be like a little bit more guarded they might just fight yeah they get too defensive so there's a polite way you know you might as well take the person out on the side or something and then just tell them that by the way just do this thing and I always feel that you should be a part of like a solution don't just like put it out demo [ __ ] you know you're stinking and sat me you don't have a solution for it and neither does he then you know he's just you just ruined his day pretty much did you borrow someone so see you in the bus then but like I'm talking like in general like sometimes it happens in the gym you know it's like that like body odor and I don't know like sometimes you know men might skip a day for taking a shower and then go to the gym sweat more and then that body odor is horrible mother your eyes start watering and but like if you're in the gym you're course you're carrying your deodorant you're carrying perfume so you might as well give it to the dude you know have you ever done that I've done that yeah yeah 100 how do you politely tell a person at the gym you know I told him I'm like wow there's a way of saying that it's humor it's humor no so that's the thing so like you just pull the guys and do they take it like I mean that guy took it very well okay cool yeah but your gym is one place where you understand what brought your can be yeah for sure you know it's horrible it's uh yeah but have you ever been like disgusted by your own body order um Yes again it's one of those situations like me like I'm a big uh Adventure nut right so I used to go for like you know walks and stuff and you go to nature trails and Hikes and you do camping as well obviously camping a time you don't have a choice of going for a shower or dip at the max like yeah I did try it once again going into the lake or something that's your only other option I didn't do that and then it was like you know the whole day of sweat Grime and all that kind of stuff it gets you but then you are equipped with the fact that okay you should use a Bollywood like a deodorant and stuff to mask the body yeah I also feed that foreign but when you're meeting people right it's so humiliating so so you know what my hack is so if I realize and it's happened to me that through like the course of the day I'm like you know what I'm not carrying anything with me I have sweat a lot and invariably I'm going to be stinking right like you know as you go to a mall and then go find like a perfume shop or something or the other but then but then I make sure I do one thing I don't apply the thing on my skin I apply it on my clothes so that kind of Master because if you use a perfume on your sweat and stuff then um yeah so perfume has to only be applied on skin when your skin is like fresh yeah when your skin is fresh and clean and see that's the difference like you know your your deodorants are basically supposed to mask your body odor right from like happening because you're going to perspire your sweat is going to come out so it helps with masking that your perfume on the other hand is just like a projection right it's like it's your becomes like you're a little bit of a body fragrance so like that two how was it like when when we talk about deodorants and perfumes I remember suddenly there was you know an influx of all these Brands and everything yeah like I mean without naming the brands like the girls would come running to you and all that and as teenagers and you see that you're like oh yeah you know you wanted a deodorant or your parents didn't let you have it I think you know like my parents they genuinely were like you know and this is something that you it was almost like it was being taught to me as well that you know at least deodorant is something that you should do because I was I was very active in sports as well in in school time so invariably I used to have like a deodorant with me most of the time barring my the school trip but like which I'll never forget scarred yeah I think my first introduction to perfume was um so my parents would not let me use like deodorants and perfumes and stuff correct and the only perfume is foreign foreign so that's where deodorant comes into play now the perfume part is to actually make you smell better right so but then like you said you know it won't project as much yes as the day goes by you know and sweat goes with it and everything yes people will not notice the sweat smell they will notice something you know flowery or citrusy or something however your deodorant is but it won't be like the same amount as like a perfume foreign area so this way is like an all-round projection like 360 degree 360. okay [Laughter] yeah but okay so people also say okay because it leaves like a nice right so exactly so it's a trail of scent again your back of the neck all this area right it's it's you've got a lot of arteries and you've got a lot of veins over here so it's always pulsity it's not just one pulse over here so science student hey actually I was actually I was good at biology and chemistry but uh okay physics okay how much perfume is too much perfect how do you define that again trial and error ideally you should not do like depends now you have edcs you have um so you have EDC which is your order clone so that old o means Pani okay it's a francaise it's a French okay why why is this happening so so I order clone actually clone clone okay it's not one that's uh that will last very very long projections that's how long it lasts and then you have your edts so yeah your EDT is your audit wallet so it's a bit more potent than your EDC why is it called toilet you'll have to find somebody French really to ask these questions from but uh so it's stronger than EDT is stronger than EDP is their full form again edit is always not always but like most of the time is stronger than PC c order cologne okay less than tea so yeah so that and then you have your your edps which is your eau de parfum so usme concentration perform buffoon okay a lot of luxury Brands actually have launched their own deodorants as well which is yeah but yes ideally yes deodorant is should not be saying that but I just said it sorry so yes I ideally as the deodorants are as uh sasta option and then you have your EDC and EDT I won't say key one is less than one is more but yes edps usually are a bit more expensive you can make concentration oils are the stronger ones and strongness is basically dependent on how long it stays on your body and uh how much the projection is so if you're looking at that then yes edps are more and more expensive also usually more expensive cologne usually doesn't last very very long although there are certain colognes which go to four or five hours and stuff a lot of Brands they've done good research on this but uh your clothes don't last that long edts yes some some people actually it's EDT suits their body chemistry more in fact more than edps it also sounds like chemistry equations how many perfumes would you have tried so far a lot man more than a hundred but like what what makes you want to try a perfume by like for example a new perfume is launched yeah what makes you want to try it like it's ingredient list it's packaging what because a lot of people buy perfumes because they look pretty yeah they like to collect I love the bottles correct correct correct so for me it's more about the end product your your fragrance hair so that's what makes me want to try it out because like I said like for me it's all about the memories right like you know certain fragrances they will actually remind you of a place that you might have been to or a certain memory that is associated with that like I think they should come up with a perfume that smells like a bank balance to remind you yeah so so for me it's more about that and of course uh trying it out and uh you know you feel good when you get complimented on oh my God you smell that's true that's true like when you tell someone hey you smell good it's such a nice compliment to hear also it's a good compliment and I automatically feel that if say the opposite sex or the same sex is you know looking at you or is interested in you I think by appearance if you were a five you know and then you smell too much I don't know Midway five is okay so if appearance you were a five but you smell better you know your chances are up six seven eating weight helps it actually oh it's attractive always no woman will say like no woman will ever say that it could be a fetish but there'll be far few in between yeah I mean everybody wants to smell good and everybody is attracted to things that or people that smell good so always I get it but do you think this uh when men buy perfumes it's mostly to impress do you buy perfumes so that you smell good on dates and see mirror dating at times but but yes even then it's for me it's always about like you know like my wife saying that you know oh my God this smells so good on you and stuff and yes that charges a lot of sexual chemistry for you automatically so I know for a fact that when I was single and I was in the dating Circle yes perfumes definitely perfumes I don't know what Sheila did but but definitely it gets you to the point where you can use your shirajit you do you also use perfume on a regular basis when you know that you're not going to meet people as such like for example it's a regular day yeah do you still wear perfume yeah yes sir occasionally you know this is the weird part I even spray a perfume before I go to bed so for me it's like that no it it see the thing is again uh if you have somebody who you're sleeping with you know so it's and um again you don't spray something that is so powerful yeah you know that the entire night the other person has a headache right but there are certain perfumes which are actually meant as bed perfumes so you can actually spray that play linen bed sheets pay they spray those things so just so that you know you you have a good aroma and you you know you sleep better in fact do you always carry a perfume with you to reapply it so again and again so the thing that I always end up doing is that I get a lot of those trial value like from shops so if I like a perfume I tell the guy that you know give me a few of the trial ones of the small one okay so if I'm going out I'll just carry one of the small ones do they give those to you when you buy the perfume when you buy the perfect otherwise they don't give it foreign ah actually good good question I actually I'm not quite sure but uh who knows you can try it I think babies it's about I think it's about confidence in the thing that you could be a potential customer but if they know then your your trick of always going into a mall and it's confidence confidence but now I think I will but okay um we're coming towards the end of this podcast so I want to ask you would you really say finally is would you say that a perfume a good perfume or a good fragrance defines a man's personality I don't I don't think it defines a man's personality I think it accentuates a man's personality I think you could be a fantastic person you could be you could be the kind of person who you know enters the room and like you know all eyes on that person you know it's not about looks or anything it's just the the vibe the energy that you bring to the thing right this is like perfume and stuff something is more about leaving that memory behind right so it's more like your your personality was fantastic but people will also remember that you know what he smells fantastic also and for a lot of people who don't have that ability of you know becoming like the life of the party or you know becoming the light in the room and stuff they can actually leave an impression by actually smelling good so I think it accentuates your you being a modern gentleman I think that was beautiful when you said key it is uh what people remember you by yeah yeah I think that tears falling down your eyes but this brings us to our next segment which is called I will say an ingredient and you tell me the fragrance family is something we've already discussed Bergamo mudish okay whatever you saying so you can say whatever see I'm giving it to you according to how I remember I could be wrong also it's not like I will remember it was fruity no Bergamo can be fruity it again whenever I've tried Bergamot I can't smell bodyish to me with Eva I always associate that with being citrusy okay cinnamon cinnamon is spicy yeah lemongrass again you know I think I'd say spicy so there is something called an internet yeah what is it so it's a fragrance but like what family thank God I would like to say it's fruity I love how nervous he is in this round because the thing is you know if I said you can't just remember fragrances like just by the names also often that's the only thing so I apologize if I'm getting these incorrectly very safe great I'm glad you did that of course but uh before we end this uh very informative and insightful episode on fragrances I want to ask you if you had to define the modern gentleman using just one word what would it be cultured culture we've not heard that before but I'll like explain this so I feel a modern gentleman is always defined by you know your mannerisms and your you know like okay when you meet somebody who is you know very pleasant person or something you know you always say like oh wow he's got a great upbringing you know you're always credited to your to the person's parents you know how he's been brought up and stuff so I feel deep down inside that's the beginning of it that's how you become a proper gentleman is how you're raised also as a person so if you're cultured right if you have the right values being instilled into you since you were a kid you're bound to become a Fab person very interesting enough very insightful not like philosophical side view I was impressed with myself thank you so much for giving this your time I had a of course I had a blast as well man yeah talking about perfumes and hopefully uh you know we can persuade you to smell some different perfumes are you saying that I smell bad no of course you smell musky white musky thank you thank you so much I would take that as a compliment but um thank you it was great having you and uh thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of the gentleman show by the man company this is ankush bhaguna signing off and before we see you in the next episode please give us your feedback on social media tag us at the rate ankush bahugna at the rate the man company and yeah see you next time thank you,M,611,25,4,"Mar 23, 2023"
The Man Company,Up Your Scent Game | International Fragrance Day Special,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nGlXAi-8Og,I thought of uh just getting a deal of the same perfume because it was cheaper they stop using me so much what's hot viewers do you hate body odor do you want to smell like gentlemen well we have some amazing fragrances from the man company and since it's International fragrance day to day we'll be testing them all out together and to make this a more fun session for you we'll have some amazing questions to go with it so are you ready let's do this okay well try all of them on and by the time I walked out I smelled like a perfume shop I think that's a common thing everyone does know it's not testers for the reason no but then it's a waste right you're putting it on that tester and you're just leaving it there it's much better to like put it on me so that you know people around me can kind of you know get the pleasure of smelling it you know during college times we are broke so I chose a Leo of the same perfume rank same perfume so that it's cheaper and I can use it for them uh is supposed to do that in college of course I completely smell like cooking right like sometimes oh that's an interesting thing yeah I mean why should I wait to smell someone nice I can just see yourself okay [Music] anything that has Amber is so good [Music] of course I judged them with what they smell like it's important to me it's definitely important I would say the first statement is the two like two people can earn some different even if they use the same fragrance I think yeah I agree with the first one because you have your own Fair bonds and I feel like it is different yeah I agree too thank you foreign [Music] women have a stronger sense of smell than men I completely believe that even if it's a lie I believe it lady charm of course I agree there's no way I'm choosing the rest of the people I go with the first statement I think [Music] of course who takes a shower twice a day yeah not me I'm saving water guys it's for my offsprings and their offsprings yeah obviously these will be Lifesavers how well I have but if I'm being very honest I've used it on my feet because I could smell my feet uh I didn't really care for it but yeah I wouldn't never use a women's perfume on me person because I don't want to smell like a woman I haven't used it but I've seen my friends uh use it and we were confused like why is he using this brand or this kind of a perfume you know you don't want to like look around think oh it smells like a woman and then you look around and it's a man it's such a disappointment yeah [Music] this is Citrus for sure something like a aqua based you know something uh watery based yeah this is this is perfect if you want to feel fresh if you want to smell fresh I would prefer to wear it towards the daytime uh and yeah I think it's really fresh smell and I love it yep cool dark something for the night and it's a really strong fragrance so I think it's going to stay for a long long time yeah also it's going to stay for a long time in terms of because even the last note I feel is going to be quite warm everyone will know that you are in the room it seems Posh like it smells kind of portion it uh smells like it smells unique like it will put you kind of in the center stage the kind of area but yeah it also smells slightly bougie is [Music] I would say stop using me so much I've seen all parts of your body and I don't like it I remember that meme [Laughter] wide variety of fragrances available at www.mancompany.com they have amazing fragrances and all of them are extremely long lasting and if you like this content please like and follow for more [Music],M,173,1,0,"Mar 21, 2023"
The Man Company,Hall Of Gentlemen | Jagjit Singh | The Man Company,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrurbIT2vmY,while you are watching this video from all the comfort of your home there must be some furry little friends roaming around your house looking for warmth is there someone who finds Comfort by giving and is actually doing something for all the stray dogs who yearn for a home meet Mr jagjit Singh working hard to restore faith in humanity since 2019 my name is jagjit Singh I'm an industrialist we get raw materials from everywhere throughout the globe in fiber drums these fiber drums were basically discarded to the scrap dealer the passion for dogs was always there in my mind I always used to wonder what I can do for this trade-off because I could see them in pain all the time in Winters so one day in the factory I saw one dog sleeping inside the drum which clicked an idea into the mind and suddenly I put up four drums in the car and got them home and I place them outside my house and to my store is that these drums were occupied by four Strays of my Lane so this idea was like something which struck my mind I said let us let us do something because the drums were getting wasted in the factory and uh the best use we could make out from these drums was that to make a house first race so I clicked the photo I sent it to my residential groups in dlf gurgaon was liked by so many people that I got a huge demand I offered them okay I'll give you for free so that is how the journey started so from since 2019 I am doing this and every year in Winters from October to February we do this dog houses while some may have felt that they had done enough Mr jagjiji could only think about his next steps tell us about all these birdhouses jagjichi when we remember our childhood but over the years I was seeing that they are declining now could find out a vendor who can make these houses for me is just my dlf area I try to promote it and people really like the idea and almost every house in dlf I gave that uh Sparrow house and people thanked me and many came and thanked me in such a way so that was an achievement at least just just a small message and depression is gone from the house what is your next step sir my next step is to spread the awareness about the Sheltering of animals and birds and also spreading awareness regarding adoption of Australians to do this all you need is effort and love nothing else [Music] [Music],M,233,4,0,"Mar 17, 2023"
The Man Company,The Gentleman Show | S1E17 | Colours Have No Gender | @ankushbahuguna | Param Sahib,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTGPdqZH5v8,get to like comment share subscribe and press the Bell icon so that the next time the episode comes up you get a notification you know like I've been through a Journeys simple clothes get out change in the washroom and then step out and didn't be myself and then change back and then go back home oh you're a very much boy boy looking again [Music] like there are a lot of boys who also complain they reject us [Music] some friends on us because they are nice how fragile masculinity is a lot of times it's more about male pleasure as per the patriarchal society we are living in but that is not right hello everyone this is ankush bahugna you have tuned in to the gentleman show by the man company lives conditioning which has made us believe that even colors have gender like pink is for girls blues for guys and to discuss this we have a we have with us designer param param sahib for a second I forgot your second name because that's how I remember you hi param hi actually param sahib is also not my full name it's param sahib singhanani and then I add three to eight cookie we are three men in the family welcome uh thank you thank you ankush thank you for having me on the show yeah I'm feeling coffee excited or coffee colorful as usual and tell me a short picture [Laughter] you know you see this yes and everything you know like it's good to wear a man wearing a shirt like this and flaunting something like this yeah I mean that's it that's a style every time uh so paraman I have crossed paths at events and all but we've never actually had time to like sit and chat so I'm very glad for that and uh he's always dressed in very quirky colors you know he stands out in a crowd like oh that is param I remember I saw you and I could see you because everybody was in like blacks and Grays and blues actually to stand out yeah I'm like okay I'll wear the brightest no actually jokes about but actually uh whenever I like choose my clothes in the morning also every day and on a daily basis also like foreign [Music] the million friends and uh so in Tamil you know param param is banana Instagram Instagram now even my checks but um so like like I said before key you're always seen wearing all these quirky colors and you know a lot of colors in one go but your shirt will never have one solid color it'll always have a lot of patterns a lot of pop pop art Bulls this is inspired by yeah pop art right so you tell me how has this journey been how did you become a designer because I've never actually asked you this we've never chatted um since you've never chatted yeah so designer was always yeah on my on my like to do thinking life you know like since childhood there's always a back story like I've had my story of playing with Barbie dolls you know like investing my uh piggy banks and then uh scraps fabric I would make their clothes you know like yeah like most times I would steal those things and then you know like notebooks illustrations and they were so scared back in the day if I talk about 10 12 years back right college so choosing that and fashion hearing by fashion okay okay and then I actually uh so a coaching Institute they teach you for this preparation for this and then so I kind of took a loan from my dad only to pay for that thing and then eventually during my preparation the the owner of that uh Institute told me why don't you start teaching then you can start paying your fee so then eventually I repaid my own thing and then I clarified nift and then I got into it there's been no looking back clearly but uh param tell me one thing the way you dress do you get like stared at a lot in public places and now I've gotten used to it now I know that you know so I know there'll be people staring and there'll be people commenting pointing fingers they say that they say it and I can hear it I have a very sharp uh so I can hear it and I know that people are talking and you know like I've been through a Journeys [Music] simple clothes get out change in the washroom and then step out and then be myself and then change back and then go back home was there to avoid that confrontation with parents with parents also and with them also asking you know like uh obviously I cannot blame my parents kyunki they don't know they have also never been spoken or uh exposed to such things they've also never met such kids or such friends in their college in their childhood who would just like dressed like that and who would openly love to wear it for them to accept their son oh my God you know something like that to avoid those initial in the initial years but I think there was to come a long way I've also come a long way now I'd wear from my house I step out and I don't care okay now whoever is going to think because it has kind of become my identity so for example when you are going to school that would kill you because [Music] so imagine the trauma of the peer pressure leave the school authorities imagine the peer pressure right in those days I can't imagine and also I was not like I was not in a sick school I was in like a uh like a non-seek school so there I was the only Sikh guy so over already would stand out and yeah so and then [ __ ] that would have been a lot of bullying I mean sounds like there was oh my God okay let's talk uh but uh so while while growing up when you didn't have access to like designing your own clothes pretty simple only yeah so then did that kill you from inside images we had like fix Shops going to like kannada nagar market near my house or like these markets like by default choices so you know like eventually like but then also I would put my foot down again mix and match so that Knack was also there is but um so you would say that the clothes that you're wearing as a child the clothes that you found them boring basically I did and I I kind of worked my way around to make them interesting for me you were not you didn't feel that uh there were the kind of clothes that you would want yeah I was always wanting more um you know something that I would love wearing it but like I would feel on top of the world so you are you are someone who loves wearing colors basically yeah right so you tell me one thingy um this whole notion that blue is for boys pink is for girls was it a thing in your childhood yeah yeah we all have grown up watching these movies I mean I will come back to movies cookie like we have grown up watching those movies and Bollywood it's such a big like uh Blues [Music] I mean movies is one thing aside but also like in families also they would say um yeah you know they say very simple things like that and I know you know like pink is a very common color even by men yeah but I still feel that in a lot of in a lot of houses it's still not as common like it's not an option yeah exactly parents are also pretty cool and everything is like pretty exposure you don't need to talk such things [Music] but we talk about rural India we talk about India in like rural like Mars India where like there are so many families who does not even know all these things comes as a culture shock they cannot accept it that is where the like the child or the or the kids or people start feeling like you know they need to break out that's where the clashes happen oh my God like your opinions and that that that's why they start hiding things that's why they start like uh they want to talk about these things they want you oh my God like who can we rely on who can we find as our role models yeah because if you don't see people like you then you feel kind of lost growing up right I I probably am able to stand up for myself Aaj I had nobody to look up to in terms of Role Models while growing up so I would really find oh my God so I would rely to like those old magazines so I would get like validation so at that point you think we are you know this person comes a little close to my personality not even at that point no no because now I think about uh you know just a Bollywood the way celebrities dress now yeah it really uh trickles down to the audience and they get inspired also they're like oh you know this is how also I can wear things like for example um I personally love ayushman khurana style yeah because it's like for I like it because it's not like a shocker yeah because when I say like borderline breaking it's edgy but it's not a shocker also which is how I like to risk if I go wearing something I don't want all the heads to turn to me because that'll make me very awkward but I want anybody who looks at me to be like oh yeah that's that's a cool outfit yeah so that's my personal style which is why like I'm glad when I look at someone like an Iceman khurana I'm like okay I'm I'm glad he's doing what he's doing because it'll it also kind of made me feel like oh I could also pull off that jacket yeah I don't think I could never think I could also pull that off that is why like people like him and more people like men like him or uh even more on the likes of uh him they've come out and they've started expressing them beyond the you know like the limitations and definitions of what man is beyond the boxes right so we look up to these men so these are Role Models I mean you know yeah true and it's not even about only colors it's also about the Silhouettes you wear the Styles you wear because also growing up in a middle class family you don't have access to a lot of Brands a lot of designer wear nothing actually you wear the simple stuff you know short or shorts and whatever so growing up when you when you see people experimenting with fashion it may it makes you feel like here you know maybe I want to experiment with my style also yeah like the closest axis in terms of like uh things would be at at my house would be my mom's clothes or my dad's clothes so you eventually end up styling those things with your things and then you see okay a chart this is also looking fine and nice on me and I can carry it off then why not experiment more so uh param like I said that my style has to be something like which is not a shocker but it's still a little edgy and it's like fun yeah how do you define your style I've always been a maximum maximum list and uh sorry like I'll just stand we're in between me like that is also another thing that I really like uh come a long way please I'm able to talk in length now yeah so uh like I've always loved to mix and match layer things and put clashing things and uh lots of like uh elements happening patterns motives so I think that has become like eventually uh my style and like now I feel very normal into the dead skin now I feel like that is my skin so every time you dress up it has to make a statement in the terms that it's Max like it's it has a list you know like uh so I don't think oh my God like I have to stand on in the crowd but I have to feel happy when I look at myself in the camera or probably camera they could you know feel like oh okay now I'm satisfied so it's not like it's just that this is what you feel yourself in yeah So eventually those stylish category attack that it just gathers a lot of attention and eyes but that is how how I do uh see that so let's let's come back to the main question which is do colors have gender do you think colors have gender like it's very silly to ask genders wow thanks for telling me my question was [Laughter] you know like orange you will say orange you know like you won't say boys is blue and girls is Pink So colors defining colors with genders is very wrong it's wrong at the basic level only hmm but do you find do you see around you because you're a designer and you I'm sure you have clients and all um do you think that men find it very hard to experiment with colors they don't find it hard but they feel safe you know they they feel that you know like uh uh people will not come and question them like they don't want to answer and probably like put them on the confrontation I feel in a certain way I feel different so they want to play it by save at the end of the day black panther blue pillow which are typically considered as male colors yeah I've actually never seen dulhas wear pink for some reason you know there are there are no like I'm talking about uh I'm not talking about uh affluent families who have resources I have gotten clients who are crazy like freaks freaks name they want to experiment and Dulas are more excited than Dulan they're like I want to outshine my bride so luckily I have been able to attract that audience and for me it's quite an amazing experience every time to work with such people who who just give me like free hand yeah okay so when a when a woman wears like a pant suit yeah it's seen as power why because band suits you associate with men corporate and those business class things anything that a man wear means power which is why when a woman wears a pant suit or a short pant yeah you think she's a boss woman she's trying to be a man she's trying to be a man but like she also gets compliments like you're looking powerful yeah as if she can't look powerful wearing a saree in a saree and Ulta like for example if men wear something that is like for example every time someone wears a skirt a man wears a skirt he will not be called powerful he'll be called so exactly so even clothes have come a long way in terms of gender I mean now if you see clothes are gender neutral clothes I mean we don't put labels as men or women there are Brands who certain certain brands who don't say key this is for men and so that's you you're talking about genderless fashion and energy like we have just diffused dissolved those borders but there are certain Silhouettes let's say skirts sarees which we obviously you know come from the history of the clothing and all that where uh we see only women wearing it and also in a household like only women wearing it so naturally Aqua uh a clothing type Associated I want to wear a skirt it will look pretty cool but eventually reactions like we see so many women be so comfortable in wearing clothes that you typically associate with men like buying suits and everything but men aren't that free of thin jackets boyfriend jackets those boyfriends but men won't be comfortable doing the same thing and so why is that I you know it's all about you know like like they feel threatened they feel threatened key uh you know they will feel less of a man yeah like what if what if someone what if out of 100 people 99 people compliment them so there you know it just Pricks their ego it just like breaks that bubble Q oh my God Mary masculinity Breakaway right no I you you absolutely make sense and I'm glad that you brought it up but another thing that you brought up was uh genderless fashion androgynous fashion can you tell our listeners a little more about what do they look what does these clothes look like and what is the idea of it so genderless fashion is basically you know like we don't Define Harmony t-shirts and then they will do like long dresses also which are like not defined a transgender woman or like anyone anyone comes a non-binary person yeah like anyone coming from any walk of uh Association of gender so they at the end of the day they just want to make clothes so the idea is that the idea is that the idea like a liking has to come if you like the color you should just take it if you like a silhouette you should take it so you should just take it so is there a particular like the economic out they look a little put like particularly in a way yeah it could be or are you saying that any cloth any piece of cloth is agenda so basically you know it does not have a structure shape it's just that you mix and match Silhouettes like it can also be fluid flowy at the same time both vibrant was uh uh like uh like flow like a skirt and also it can be very structured from the top so it can have like both the features of ads we put in men and women so don't know structures so that is like a basic idea of androgenous fashion so do you see a lot of men um you know accepting this yeah imagine like men wearing black nail polishes men wearing like nut and uh men experimenting with the quote like a basic quote case silhouette so you know imagine like a long label or probably like a drapey back so I say the like small small features of experiments are probably like men definitely want to bring that twist into them makes sense yeah but do you see a welcome change in a lot of Welcome change like not like a like like a baby step but men definitely want to experiment and they don't I'm not talking about celebrities no no I'm talking about real people come on like you know celebrities they want to push a certain thing but with real they're also the place let's face it they're also at a place that they have the power to influence yeah like everybody who's a public figure they all they have activity I'm gonna ask you a question and you answer it okay uh the question is tell us three things about the fashion industry no designer will ever ever tell you oh you have to say inside Secrets they'll always keep you suspense till the last moment they need to absorb the feel of it also they'll never secretly tell you that they're secretly judging you always their secret is uh judging your looks and like just giving you numbers in the head eight out of 10. miners and I think they'll never tell you uh uh that uh it was never easy for them like I think they'll always tell you that they've come to a point wherever they are in their life with so much of hard work and uh with so much of struggle like is that false no I think it's true okay fair enough um thanks for that answer and uh we're gonna close this episode now uh but before that I want to ask you one last question which is Define the modern gentleman in one word I think humility and civil uh uh okay uh chivalrous chivalrous yes basically up you know yeah so you have to respect that a woman is sitting there and you cannot share certain things you cannot rely on your mom to do all the things just because she's a female in the family so that chivalry has to come at the right point that your mom or sister is doing something you need to make do things for them you have to respect that they are also a human being they are female or men you know like oh Dad sets the tone of the family you know like not just he has come from work but you can step up and you know become like okay I will do this for you you have worked all the day let me just do this for you at the house so I think that chivalry like that small gesture and their understanding of uh you know just to be more feminist and to treat both genders and even Beyond equally that has to come from the right age right okay so actually I'm going to throw this to the audience now I want uh now you tell us in the comments how you would Define the modern gentleman in one word and audio streaming platforms Channel episodes and thank you so much for being here thanks ankush did you have fun I had so much fun I mean I would just like you know say all these things but yeah I had so much fun you know to have this conversation my God this podcast is such a great idea to talk about things which is what it is but um thank you for saying that I'm glad that you enjoyed and um to everyone watching this uh thank you so much this is from the gentleman show by the man company signing off and we'll see you next time [Music],M,259,6,0,"Jan 22, 2023"
The Man Company,The Gentleman Show | S1E15 | Happy New Gym Membership | @ankushbahuguna |,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9i7df5Pv-F4,don't forget to like comment share subscribe and press the Bell icon so that the next time the episode comes up you get a notification have you ever felt that I'm dumb no no so that's the answer a fat character's personality is all about similarly another stereotype here Jim boys personality is all about Fitness oh you're a very much boy boy looking [Music] um like there are a lot of boys who also complain they reject us [Music] some friends on us because we are nice how fragile masculine tea is a lot of times means your father male pleasure as per the patriarchal society we are living in but that is not right [Music] hello everyone this is ankush bhagna you have tuned into yet another episode of the gentleman show by the man company [Laughter] podcasts which is the problem yeah I see it now but what is the topic today do you want to tell us what the top what are we talking about today it's about Fitness and Men yeah it's about men Fitness and also you know there is a difference between uh for example for example you go to pranith's social media feed you see one aspect of Fitness which is like the you know everything and then there are a lot of people that you would look at and you'll feel key oh yeah they're definitely not fit and I think that there is a lot of conversation around fitness body positivity fat phobia and that's why I think um we wanted to have this conversation with both of you together or uh who doesn't like it ankush I think it's your quality that has rubbed off on me hanging out with you and uh I mean [Laughter] I don't care exactly is I mean that's gonna happen anytime honestly if if I'm being 100 authentic and if you call me out for being that then not my problem no it shouldn't be bothering you know yeah honestly see if you get called out there is a sense of uh you know anxiety always around it and I was just thinking that I am I'm coming here with like that mindset that okay I'm just gonna discuss the things I you feel personally feel you know and there are things that definitely I do not know but I'm willing to learn as well right and if uh for being that self I get called out but if I do then I really cannot you know manage it is okay [Laughter] it's so difficult to have this conversation professionally and not break into insults because that's how friendships work um like it doesn't work for me because every time trainers are like yeah no do it one two um what is this logic of uh you know trainers being so aggressive in the train okay so uh not every not every trainer is aggressive so uh not every trainer is aggressive uh you need to understand a person who's training with you like if it is ankush it's not gonna work so I have I have tried uh being very like uh aggressive also sometimes I I I've tried being disappointed and then I've tried actually uh giving him guilt factor and none of it worked none of it the the only thing uh which could move ankush is key uh the next cheat meal [Laughter] so yeah three days ago before you can eat that three days to go before you earn that meal and yeah that's what works and you've also trained uh uh Karan right yeah no uh didn't I I didn't train him personally like he was he was into 37 day challenge uh uh I think uh Karen uh got injured or something like that I think a low back yes agreed so I think our challenge completely like in uh the thing is [Music] if I if I try to like be a little aggressive okay on them uh they take it very very sportingly and they actually feel it okay there is a coach who's unlike me no of course like uh [Laughter] thank you I just want to say thank you there is [Laughter] [Music] Jim and I've failed because I wouldn't go after the third fourth day because that's what I think worked with planet is very smart technique I know I can't do it I can do it and then he started you know like he really eased me into it he's like and turn up every day like that's what president told me even if you don't give it your best every day just make sure that you turn up every day and that's how many habits but then I always go back to it now do you think that this is a notion that there is Fitness and then when you look at a you know you will never look at a skinny person and say that oh this person is definitely not fit but you will always look like look at a plus size person and be like this person is definitely unfit like do you think it's true that thin is fat but thin is fit but fat is never fit no there's only one answer to this which is fat phobia okay uh because uh it's not like people who think uh you know people who do not uh like fat think it's something to not have or think it's you know kind of promoting it or whatever exactly so like having a problem with somebody being fat primarily according to me I think you know I'm not big on definitions but I can just like tell you my personal understanding of it and I hope it's correct okay so I think the answer is fat phobia to that because it's not like thin people do not have problems not like skinny people are you know perfectly healthy yeah or every uh person who's overweight or obese has issues you know uh so I uh battled with covet last year which was pretty intense and after that I um when I came out of it I did realize you know there are a lot of things I need to do in my life like in general if I survive but also with my health uh but you know it's not like I haven't met people who were thin and skinny and did not get any kind of complications because a lot of people did so does that mean uh that if somebody is fat only they can have problems no and does that mean if they have if they are fat they definitely will have problem definitely not because you know like you said like workout is personal to everyone uh health and fitness is also personal to everyone it's a very subjective matter okay subjective how subjective in the sense that you know your body comprises of a lot of things you know there are hormones there are glands there's this that there's that in turn login so I mean if you and I for example right now get our tests done you know full body checkups there will be some things wrong and just because I am fat does not mean that I will only get certain things wrong all right it's not necessary that a thin person's cholesterol cannot be high there are a lot of thin people who are suffering from a lot of problems that fat people may or may not be suffering but those problems will not bother a third person because they look thin that's what you're saying yeah so you know it's it's easier for me to say as a Layman that um so it becomes the center of everything exactly okay you know how like parents tell you to marry life her problem is because of your phone or because of that one friend you have in your distant Circle just like that okay like that as a fitness trainer and not just as someone who makes people work out it's Fitness like fitness trainer does the word Fitness yeah what do you have to say to that uh so to the same question yeah okay so uh I agree with Karan uh because uh I like merry bodybu essay like uh so I I had good amount of weight on myself which is unproductive uh so um of course because not just by my uh like friends or family uh my own dad like used to always uh tell me like look at look at you how how you have become so I used to think that it's non okay and I would like to admit it is okay like I have also body shamed it I would love to like put it in forward because I didn't have any kind of idea yeah so um yeah and then I started understanding Fitness very well okay then I started understanding key that's because you had an interest in Fitness yeah because you just wanted to lose the weight so the so the thing is key I really wanted to lose the weight first that's why I joined gym and primarily everyone's joined uh Jim because they really want to look good primarily yeah so uh um yeah so 10 standard I was like 95 kgs with five three height which was like very much and then um at least I should have some kind of relevance or like people should notice me or something like that so I started working out but the moment I got enough knowledgeable like when I got certified as a personal trainer then I started training people then I actually met so many people now on like almost there are like 7000 people who have got properly uh like uh fit because of uh our trainings our services right so that is where we have I I started understanding the perfect meaning of fat phobia and then what exactly happens everything and then I started like recollecting my childhood memories oh so I used to feel bad but I used to think like oh it's not like this is how someone who's plus size should feel yeah yeah exactly and it is always bad so somebody is here thank you literally yeah so uh when I actually I I met with a like a small injury like accidentally uh in before Kobe just foreign [Laughter] so that is where I got to know many things and then I started thinking about it the whole conversation revolves around Aesthetics in every way exactly we all know how what men should look like so agar for example to fit her the first thing people will tell you shoulders and the first thing that people will tell you is some unsolicited advice on how you should lose weight or how you should dress up you know this is not for uh plus size people yeah you know why because they don't want you to look nice according to them they just want you to cover up you know that's the underline of it that's under undertone of it that sometimes you fail to understand yeah can you not wear shorts sometimes it's nice but like or like uh you know why do you have to open your button so much because like I have to I have to absolutely every time you're in a room yes if you're very fit then also the conversation they won't see you beyond your Fitness yeah and if you're so many times it has happened no the time I was training you if you remember I used to only uh uh like uh it changed the way he was uh healing from an injury so he was not working out so he's put on he put on weight yeah so he would dress up differently okay right [Music] so it is all about uh like uh how you guys are in love with it but I think this is this is the name Fitness talks then where is your Fitness where is your Fitness talking okay like we need your photos like do you even have abs bro maybe because they wanted to check your credibility Maybe but then again it's coming from a wrong notion of Fitness right the pages Fitness talks with Brandon or AB talks with brunette okay then again also I'm going to get some kind of comment on yes that is the psychology and the second is science okay but yeah let's uh let's agree to that not fully equipped to discuss that but yeah but see now because of this podcast only I'm sure um they're very dumb there's a stereotype right do you do you want to address that like a lot of people think have you ever felt that I'm dumb no no so that's the answer where it comes from I I cannot tell you whether they are or not never been with them but I'll I can tell you where it comes from you know the notion has become that these uh boys in gym or like the ones who are into fitness a lot have this you know preachy Vibe wants you like you know lose like it now wait and gain muscle mass and these are your goals you got it then then it becomes like a peach you know those kind of a certain people have like uh they're so passionate about it yeah they've paved the way for the entire uh you know uh set of people who go to gym to be uh viewed in a light like that if they're they're spending like two hours in the gym they're in like you know a fat character's personality is all about similarly another stereotype here Jim boys personality is all about Fitness the only difference is that this is more systemic and that's yeah is perceived as beautiful and that's perceived as uh dangerous yeah basic qualifications [Laughter] and I've realized that the more con the more Fitness related content creators that I've made it to the internet they have changed the slight notion that Fitness people don't know much but now that we have so many creators they also educate you about so many things they talk about technicality this Fitness industry because of kovid because of uh you can say that there was a proper boom of actually becoming a good known personality on social media trainers I'll be your creator or something like that or you can address people yeah exactly okay when I got uh the the got to know that okay I need a platform to Showcase my talent that is where uh I started thinking about it so uh qualifications okay but uh if you're if you try and ask that particular person into that particular field and you through them you can send so much amount of knowledge like I have like I have done personal person training course first basic course then I've done on the nutrition courseport nutritionist course then I have done the special population course which is like a course where you have you get to know how to treat people with injuries okay then I had to go through a gym management course so management is also a biggest thing okay and then I became the master trainer education which people don't understand exactly so now we'll go to the next segment which is one question which is uh three things you don't understand about the fitness the scene right now I think that's what we had a discussion about is basically like to conclude into Circle back like yeah to conclude the episode three things you don't understand about the whole Fitness industry and the fitness as you see it on social media um unrealistic time goals um [Music] generalized Fitness plans for everyone um and uh are you measuring your voice no I'm just like I'm actually not able to think of a third one but let me because I have a lot to say what I don't about the fitness scene right now third third thing will be um you know the the I mean that's that's just like a byproduct but you know the the toxic ideology that you have to do this to be fit you know uh like we discussed the entire episode third point is it being centered around the Aesthetics primarily as well I don't understand okay I agree with the third Point first okay because that's the first thing uh like the same questions questions to me yeah can you repeat the question again so three things you don't understand about the fitness industry yeah I I understand everything the problem is uh I'm confused to like how to uh simply uh let's say explain it to people explain or like make awareness about uh it very well okay so maybe that's why I'm uh being very much active on social media and trying to create such content where smartly by humorous side of it by just putting little bit uh small tips through uh generalizing it very well so yeah I'm confused about it Indian Fitness Industries [Music] so that is a big thing actually difficulty finally everybody wants key in anything else that you don't get about the fitness industry needs his third point so Fitness types under the name of Fitness does that exact thing comes into the fitness or not okay okay or is it just covering the one aspect of it okay that is the like like I it will be like my humble request to like everyone who is trying to just feel humble uh make uh one point clear only this is the only way of doing it or like this is the the type of Fitness that we follow is the perfect way okay but anyway I'm gonna come to the last question of this podcast which is uh if you were to define the modern gentleman in one word what would it be himself oh that's actually pretty cool of course it is what about you wow for for me to be a gentleman uh I have to be uh let's say very much expressive expressive okay so so himself you think a modern gentleman is himself yeah which is perfect of course and you think that modern gentleman is expressive which is very important I do I do feel like episodes men find it very hard to be vulnerable and you know Express their emotions so yeah I absolutely agree with both of them and also I'm the host of the show I can't disagree with people who come on anyway but thank you so much both of you uh this conversation was very insightful very very scientific thanks and did you guys enjoy it if that makes sense I would definitely want to hear it no problem all right thank you uh for this unnecessary Oscar speech but uh do you guys want to sing the Shin Chan yes yes please please let's do that guys I was kidding okay anyways what do you think about it okay give it him shot anyway guys [Music] all right all right this is the end of the podcast thank you so much for coming here thank you guys this is your host of the gentleman show by the man company signing off please I'm local social media feedback though at the rate demand company and we'll see you in the next episode [Music],M,802,7,0,"Jan 5, 2023"
The Man Company,The Gentleman Show | S1E14| Close Shave | @pantonfire | @ankushbahuguna,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIq-L0AZOTo,don't forget to like comment share subscribe and press the Bell icon so that the next time the episode comes up you get a notification so get get your get your [ __ ] together oh you are very much boy boy looking um like there are a lot of boys who also complain they reject us [Music] some friends on us because we are nice how fragile masculinity is a lot of times means your father male pleasure as per the patriarchal society we are living in but that is not right hello everyone we're back with another episode of the gentleman show by the man company this is ankush bahugana your host and uh yeah basically listeners for a shoot and uh so now it's still a very new feeling so I was traveling to Bombay for shoot and um I realized my hair is looking too shabby idea why not have an episode on personal personal care on the go for people who are constantly traveling how do they take care of themselves which includes skin care grooming everything and today's guests uh that we have a stand-up comics so please welcome saurabhan oh thank you thank you so much thank you everybody thank you for that wonderful Applause I like how you started with saying he uh I was trying to figure out and I have uh don't have that problem uh actually I do have another problem because it's a great problem to not have problems you have no issues and then you have to trim them because then they look like little mushrooms growing on your head you have real struggles yeah oh my god listen you know there are a lot of people struggling in this world but I have the biggest struggle um which is to try and cut my hair so every time I'm traveling in a weekend Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday so I have to shave my head before my flight on Thursday and this is the the weirdest thing so my wife tells me you have left hair in the sink I'm like thanks I appreciate that I have left some hair somewhere okay so so sort of um [Laughter] dude so now now people have understood a little bit more uh and also the other thing is that with comedians right so they think that there's only one kind of comedian that exists in the world which is which is that uh so you say comedy you're like government I know better yeah but how do you explain what you do to like some relative or some elderly person uh [Music] there's a dude like six foot five tall good looking guy and all that [ __ ] and you see these kind of people and like I already hate this person right exactly I know foreign and I still don't know who he is he's a very humble guy but how was last evening you had a show in Delhi yeah and last evening was fun yeah so most of my shows are are fun nowadays because I have changed my context about what's your count yeah then like which show number what uh I don't know but I must be close to somewhere 2400 cash for something like that must be I don't know something like that so at what number did you stop counting I don't know I like you never counted no no no I have no idea okay I haven't absolutely um like you do four open mics in a day so each of those counts as a show so after a point you're like this is impossible um and now you are like dude you just don't know what the count is um but Delhi shows are always very interesting man I had a really good time yesterday audience foreign but now you just have fans who are coming who've seen your content yeah all that kind of stuff so yeah but then do you not feel you missed that first reaction because they already know you yeah so they've already if they're coming to your show they already like you the first barrier break but do you miss that feeling of performing in front of like absolutely new people who don't know who you are oh dude it's great so uh and the thing the way you do that is and so again we are all so full of ourselves right like you have a lot like no no like like you yourself with 900 000 Instagram followers see I followed you someone's keeping it down yeah it's a measuring contest so uh one of the things I do is that uh and you're so full of your own world but Open Mic my audience like I mean Open Mic my audience is people who understand stand-up comedy right so they would know you but they understand some kinds of Comedy right like who's like say a fan of like Kenny somebody will come who's a fan of munawar so because so they are just there for comedy tickets and all that kind of stuff so that's an interesting audience and the other thing is that uh you open for other comedians it's a damn we were doing a show together at this place so she opened for me and I opened for her and it's great because we both are the only the only context in which this won't sound wrong yeah 10 months she did and then I did whatever one and then reversed for her and I was damn good dude because both of us ate [ __ ] because she is great so it's okay and that's what I like I love about all you know that that performance anxiety yeah so you can experiment a little bit so you're like I'll try new jokes and all that [ __ ] and you try new jokes in the audience you're like okay cool I'll try a joke that I've done 135 times like [ __ ] am I just am I just bad okay see I like how you said bad and I use the bad word how awkward is it when people don't laugh at your jokes it depends on why they're not laughing how do you know why they're not like you know like if they're not laughing because they don't like like you as a person then you're like great but why will if someone's coming to your show obviously they won't have Vendetta against you no no the people who buy tickets for a show are different right but then if you're doing like a corporate show oh yeah they have no choice they have no choice and they're like stuck in this room and so like corporate shows that I really love doing corporate shows and like the recently they've improved a lot because when I started ages context you bring them in I'm like I can't compete with the Royal Stags like I can't go like that's not an option right but now people are like the copper shoes are a lot more fun and also what makes it very exciting is the rest of the people have no clue and that's damn exciting and so I'm like oh this is fun because some people acquiring new audience you're acquiring and also you're trying to convince people people like the the key is I've realized that you have to make them like you in the first two minutes in whatever way you have to make them laugh and like you in the first two minutes or at least if not like you have to make them laugh I have failed because the first two minutes I spent I was so stressed it was like yeah you told me no no you were preparing and all yeah yeah you're preparing like you were Googling who I was no and then I would be like yes it's me Kenny Sebastian and so the joke was like because I look nothing like any Sebastian yeah and then his fans were like dude you're not okay enough what is the worst thing that has happened to you during a show I do a whole show about it I'll do a show called worship ever which is about some of the worst shows I've ever done like there was a show I was doing in gurgaon so um why do all the bad stories have to start to tell you so okay listen I'm not I'm not like stereotyping cities okay no but so okay some stuff has happened in Bangalore also okay okay but and I'm not making this up okay every time it happened in Bangalore it was Delhi it's impact not making it up that's a guy who was doing some comedy in some shows I'm like dude what are you doing and I love Delhi it's a great City very nice people foreign and I have a very simple rule which is that uh and I tell the crowd so people are heckling me people like buy stations unfortunately and you'll find out slowly in the story that the bouncer were necessary in the story so uh I I get on stage 10 minutes so this guy comes on stage he starts throwing money at me okay like because and I am very Shameless I picked it up and put it in my pocket and I said and I literally said like if you want to like throw money throw Mark actually exactly and then they kept service going on and my manager told the manager of the hood of the restaurant please services and I was like why didn't you tell me this I would have used it on stage all anything is no no my manager was killed but that's not the point he's under the stage still yeah he's still there he's waiting for somebody to call let's hope this is uh this is prior to demonetization so he actually made a profit still uh sort of tell me one thing how much do you travel what's your like day to day life like you're always on the go right but you you must be traveling a lot no to Bombay whenever I have work but my work doesn't necessarily involve me to travel all the time so but for you like you have to travel a lot right yeah yeah so tell us what is your like day to day life like how often do you travel in a week but um it can be whatever you want it to be we're at that point in the show uh no I'm I'm on the road like four times a week at least and uh yeah and again I have kids so uh I've started actually trying to travel with my kids and my wife also comes along and uh I mean the soft but not qualified that you can't go back oh listen I love my wife here we are in a very nice place uh so I like to travel with them and so four times a week though I'm out only so I have like full like you're talking about personal care I make sure now that any hotel I'm staying in has a gym because uh like my plan is to like become the Dwayne Johnson of Indian Comedy right that's nothing less than that so I like wake up in the morning it's not like uh four kilos of whey protein every morning um that's my schedule so I make sure that I have a gym here because I realize that you're on stage for whatever one two hours a day and Baki time pay you have to look at yourself and also I had I had an epiphany about this uh recently where as a comedian or as an artist right whatever whether you're a musician or an actor or or whatever it is your your job is that you get on stage and you entertain people and that's the one moment where you're in the moment and you're getting this attention and this love from people and if that ever Fades away you reach a point where you're like my life has peaked and now everything is [ __ ] after that I delete it you do yeah but your life you you are fine right yeah hey don't abuse it's a clean show I I what are the good parts about being on the move like when you travel you see so many hotels you go to so many cities what are the good parts of this you you always meet somebody telling you something interesting right like uh um [Laughter] and always you you overhear a weird [ __ ] dude like uh like I'll be on a flight right and one of my favorite things to do is pretend I have my headphones on and then you're just overhearing people talk nonsense I was on an international flight and uh there was a couple behind me okay and they were like it was night and they had a Kamal which they were sharing so obviously things are happening and the guy is just like hey [Music] elbow chat now and I'm like what are you what is happening dude what's this weird King kid elbow literally I I was like dude I gotta listen what also people tell you interesting stories man like once you can complete that story I don't know that's the end of it and then they were just like that's the weird like King he's like I've never heard anybody say hey elbow chat good night what are you doing dude maybe they're code words oh maybe they were code words for what but if he came up with this code word it could be actually elbows only then yeah I mean or maybe a elbow could be the code word for whatever his thing is I had a lady once uh tell me a story about how she got divorced also on a flight where she said I was in Hong Kong and my uh um I was getting into uh about to give birth you were about to give up no Amazon I mean not yet I have not figured it out [Laughter] maybe maybe they have a strip so there's a lady who told me she's like uh dude I'm about to get into a child but I'm about I'm I'm in labor and I tell my husband who's in Chennai or whatever that you need to come to Hong Kong right now he tells her are we flight boss [Laughter] he's like dude the baby's coming right now this is not like ankush's flight which can wait culture and history and all that kind of stuff so I I really enjoyed talking to people about all this kind of culture and history yeah elbow chat and divorce because of expensive flights this question is personal care what do these two words mean to you it means taking care of your person no I do it the only person care I do again I'm telling you like like working out eating right and uh just like so one of my big rules as a professional athlete that I am is uh that to win general elections in to win general elections and also like um I have decided to make a health-based decision which is that I'll only have six drinks in a day right like and I think that everybody should do is I think you can add two more to that you know what I'm so glad you mentioned it because I have not had less than eight in the last three days somebody yeah it's personal care is like I think it's about about like um I carry lotion everywhere then that's basically it that's uh also personal okay yes sure and I carry a toothbrush uh it's happy to inform everybody that I brush my teeth regularly almost uh twice a week uh so yeah but it's about I think it's also about uh making things comfortable for yourself and all because I'm generally traveling a lot so uh yeah personal care doesn't only mean grooming skin care like you said Fitness yeah it's it's personal care dude I went to the gym yesterday and like you know sometimes when you're alone in the gym and you click selfies yeah you click selfies and then I record random videos in the gym so I recorded a video where about [ __ ] that I can't do in a gym right so I was like making all weird sounds and blah blah blah and doing all weird actions with this recording an Instagram read which is on my thing and I'm doing all this [ __ ] thinking I'm alone in the gym then I realized this is easy little camera there and I step outside on the security guy line it just gives me a look like something but yeah that's I think Personal Care is also about just taking care of your person like I have a very little uh looks to maintain so yeah but tell us more about like what it takes to groom your head oh dude it's very complicated you know people don't understand this right because okay now this is a problem okay is that you're shaving your head right now very few people have uh eyes behind right like maybe four I know five yeah so okay five I didn't know it was the number had gone up by 20 25 sorry so every time you shave your head there's always one Mark here somewhere or the other so you have to find somebody to say hey so I'm just walking around it's mostly your wife now yeah so I mean she doesn't like looking at me so but she likes to look at the back of my head because it means that I'm going away and she's like thank God but in the hotels and all like I have done this I I once decided that I was on a two-week trip and I was like I'll shave my head and I couldn't see the back of my head so I'm going to the reception and saying hey can you see me at the back and they're like dude sir leave dude it's very tough being a being a bald dude because like you have to you have to shave every four days when you start looking weird and uh uh all the way till the back yeah [Laughter] uh also do the biggest problem is like okay so you shave your head right and then for a day you your head feels so goddamn cold so I um it's damn cold so okay I carry lotion and I put it on my head I'm glad you mentioned for people who must have been wondering and people are watching like me do this and they're like what a weird thing to do but that's that's my strategy uh yeah otherwise are you into grooming otherwise like uh beard shaving do you always I used to clean shaven I used to do the French beard and all and uh then I was like I just want nothing on my face I want nothing I wanna have I used to have way earrings and I had a French beard then I tried that uh um so I've tried all these experiments just to distract from the fact that you don't have hair and now I've just embraced it I'm like yeah so when I travel like I told you okay I mean I have hair now yeah yeah so I've noticed that notice that about it was that about a lot of people so I'll tell you this about this hair thing okay I'm obsessed with people the question is gone okay no I know what question we'll ask but I didn't even ask the question I can see it I saw the reflection of your phone in your eyes uh I I'm obsessed with people's hair okay so like my closest people's hair yeah like people who have nice hair I'm very Amazed by because again you like what you don't have right so uh my two of my closest friends one is Anu Menon who has very curly beautiful hair and one of my favorite things is just touch the hair like because I don't have it and then another friend of mine has the most Smooth hair I've ever seen you're not doing that on flights to people no no I'm not even oh we'll come to that also we will come to that also okay so I literally I hang out with my friends and I'm just like touching the hair like this and they're like dude this is and people are watching and they're like yeah this is very normal sort of things that he does I'm Amazed by people's hair um so I was on a flight and I'm just sitting there innocently with my a bald head and somebody starts rubbing my head like this was it the elbow chart guy he's like what is ahead but a giant elbow everything can be an elbow if you put your mind to it it's like a nose can be a elbow which got injured many other body but maybe that was the code elbow was like maybe everybody doesn't have same sizes [Laughter] so uh somebody's rubbing my head I'm like what I don't know the air hostess and she's like are you sauropant I was like yeah yeah she's like I didn't realize it then like she really had to touch to realize that she's like no I wanted to make sure that's in my head have you met before I understand what this is my head fine like I'm okay I don't care like it feels like sort of birth would feel like oh dude and people again we are talking about weird Kings okay one of the weirdest things we're not talking about weird Kings but now anyway we had to talk about personal care but okay we're talking about weird Kings I got done with the show and we will come up with like selfies and they say funny face banana funny face uh I got down to the show in Pune and such a funny face I have Infinite funny faces that's a 90 of my comedy um but uh this one uh group of girls comes and they're like hey can we kiss you ahead uh like sure live your life all the things you could kiss line of five girls kissing my head I'm like whatever and then there was a guy with them and he's like can I say I'm like go for it man like everybody join the camp and like 11 people were kissing my head as that's the running joke the last guy licked my head so literally coming back to so I mean you're talking about the struggles that bald men go through yeah it's a lot you know I've faced a lot I should have uh thought this episode through yeah you should have uh you should have thought your choice of guest of this episode yeah you were talking about your hair so can I ask you a question about your hair what is the worst haircut you've got uh the worst haircut that I've got was like they were different lengths from different places it looked like a pigeon got its head stuck in like an exhaust fan nice so it looked like that very cool yeah yeah I think every haircut that I've gotten has only disappointed me there's just something about haircuts that you never like them so you obviously don't have that uh you know but do you do you when you shave do you shave it shave yourself or do you go to like salons too no no I shave myself it's very self-sufficient so you don't have that uh stress here salons it's actually very complicated you have to go and say sir and they're like oh because head shaving oh okay that's it your skin feels weird so doesn't it look patchy when you just trim it using a trimmer yeah but nobody is again seeing the back of my head ah yeah except your wife yes many positions yes foreign Out of Body Experience let's let's talk about mental health sort of because when we talk about personal care Fitness you know appearance grooming everything me time what about mental health uh how do you deal with the fact that sometimes there will be highs there will be lows I'm sure did it affect your business oh crazy yeah yeah mad but there were no shows there's nothing happening I had to borrow money from my parents to pay income tax this is an actual thing that happened and my parents used to be part of the income tax so the money came back to them only as pension interesting very very interesting uh pyramid scheme this was but uh yeah I mean if and again it affected everybody's business it's not just uh like you owe me or whatever uh I started respecting the audience a lot more um and but about uh this I've realized that I want to reach a state of being just calm and there but did it affect you like affect your mental health when that happened oh yeah I was going through like uh because also there was a lot of people they were still abuse from people discovering old videos and saying that you are this and you are that and all that kind of [ __ ] and then those hordes and hordes of people coming after you so that honestly gets exhausting because I think the problem with the internet to an extent is that people forget uh you see a handle you don't see a human being and that tends to be a lot and I'm like I have which is why like uh nowadays on on in shows I do a lot I do a lot more content than I would earlier do on social media now my Twitter is just jokes about cricket and um like you know where to not go yeah just stop because I'm like and also I've stopped being attacking people too much yeah I used to yeah I think all of us have been part of the Brigade man everybody is a cloud chaser eventually everybody I've decided I don't want to be relevant I don't want to you don't want to be ready I don't want to be relevant I want to have my little Clique of people who like what I do and I try to be as balanced instance try to be as sensible as I can about things because I think there is a lack of of that everybody is constantly just trying to find like hey this is uh this is our lane and that's all the only lane that exists in the world so I've been trying to uh and I think this is specifically during the pandemic this happened is that the level of empathy has gone up in a lot of people because uh one of the things I started doing during the pandemic was I started having YouTube members and this is about 30 odd people who we used to talk to each other quite a lot and became like a lot of them became very close friends of mine and everybody was telling me the [ __ ] that they're going through somebody's going through restaurant business which is completely budge out somebody is a student whatever which is going through a lot and then you're talking to other friends of yours who are Comedians and creators and restaurants and travel people and then just generally people who have jobs that involve them going somewhere and uh so I think we've all just been through a ringer and if if the pandemic has not taught you uh how to sort of be kinder to people then what are you doing with yourself I feel that in the pandemic what also happened is that people were using internet a lot right which basically means there was more influx of people on the internet and that also meant an influx of opinions right so when you say that people started empathizing more yes like in certain you know periods of time yes but then I also saw people being a lot more vicious yes they were just spending more time on the internet and sometimes what happens is when you're spending your time on the internet you're having a bad day it reflects in what you do on the internet when you go and you sit on people's profiles and stuff yeah it shows that you're having a bad day and you want to take it out correct on people so yeah it's been it's been a roller coaster that way though did you did you get a lot of online stuff like online abuse and on oh no for like I mean I have a makeup page also so um which is okay people are allowed to not find me funny most of my friends don't find me funny yeah yeah so which is okay but um in general why did we get to hate on the internet we're talking about mental health but yeah I'm saying that you uh you said makeup while I mean not so if you compare the love and the trolling the love is always more because that's how you're growing on social media right but yeah what is it what is that I want to know makeup rules okay that's another thing only so the next segment is called where there's a fun activity that we're doing you have to tell us as Activity three secrets that no stand-up comic will ever tell you um all of them uh alcoholics all of them uh all everybody and there's no hashtag not all stand up comics no nobody's alcoholic um three cigarettes no stand-up comedian will tell you is uh uh what is the secret yeah it's no real secret yeah because they already used it in the set yeah I know okay I'll tell you I'll tell you a secret about startup company a lot of shows uh you're you're doing a lot of shows without getting paid oh a lot of shows all Comedians and I'm not saying like just me everybody because it's open mic nights there's like nights where you're performing you're not getting paid for it right uh so there's a lot of uh and especially if you're a young comedian coming up etc etc there's like years and years you're expending just not getting paid um and you're barely breaking even etc etc and sometimes you're losing money also because so that's uh that's one secret and the three secrets are that that happens more than three times I don't know any more secrets um that was only one secret there's only one secret I have no more secrets everything is out in the openness out in the open okay so before we end this episode tell me how would you define the modern gentleman in one word um that's a good word yeah no I actually need a word um that sounds very similar to the first word genderless genderless yeah you haven't thought this through it no they kept asking me you think of one word I'm like I will think about it it worked very nicely the the word is the word yeah oh there is a great word dude come be calm I don't know but Modern Man I mean there's no one word to describe all men right you have to do it hashtag Not all men is that a hashtag was that something yeah yeah it is a hashtag oh okay yeah shaved [Music] that's that's just philosophize it somehow Zen calm cool collected okay I'll give you 16 takes okay you take collected we've chosen collected now explain it okay so just I don't have to explain you ask for one word it's over okay fine and then it's I mean you asked me the word again and you ask me the question again I'll give give this will be a good take care okay Define the modern gentleman in one word Sphinx that's it that's the end of the world now you can't ask me to describe it I was not I can't possibly anyway subscribe to this channel uh the channel that you're watching of course is youtube.com pantonfire uh it's a great Channel by me and uh yeah head there you know that we edit this out right don't after all that you've done today anyway thank you so much for being here it was great it was a pleasure talking to you as a human being a friend a family member and one of my closest relatives um we're good we're good and also just want to tell people that come see my live shows I'm on tour I don't know what time we're releasing this but saurabhun.com for tickets uh subscribe to me on YouTube on LinkedIn on Instagram um yes yeah you want to take over this podcast and uh it's been it's me ankush and uh thanks a lot for listening uh one of my greatest guests today was saurabhant um I consider him an inspiration to all and uh just a great guy subscribe to him buy his new book called vote for pump it's available for retail maybe somebody will read it lights off oh dude that'll be such a great ending you will have to cut the camera please give us your feedback on social media oh okay yeah I'm done for the day guys [Music],M,456,16,1,"Dec 22, 2022"
The Man Company,The Gentleman Show | S1E13| Work or play or both? | @ankushbahuguna | @RageCoffee,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsEf4QML3h8,don't forget to like comment share subscribe and press the Bell icon so that the next time the episode comes up you get a notification we are very different and we're both men but his idea of being a man is this [Music] so it's kind of like a slap to the society what about you know the head of there [Music] idea of beauty the society you should look like this [Music] hi everyone this is ankush bhagana you have tuned in to yet another episode of the gentleman show by the man company lives which brings me to my next topic which is hustle culture because there is a hustle going on right here okay and uh motivational content and everybody is saying the same things that you know hustle hard work hard don't give up and it's I personally find it very aggressive and um I don't know I just want to discuss this with someone who has founded his own brand which is a coffee brand called rage coffee we have with us Mr Bharat City hi Bharat I am thank you for having me Bharat is sitting here so calm and composed and he's like confident here and it's intimidating me because um now it's giving me stress but that's my style I just uh you know like people to take charge I like them to lead from the front or your Merry life may I think uh Sarah magic he has happened because I've trusted people and I've let them take charge and do what they know best so just saying this is not helping it's only doubling the pressure on me right now what is I know that it's subjective maybe to a certain extent but what does the word hustle mean and what does it mean to you specifically I think can hustle the word uh in general means that you are out there uh and you're you know you're attacking your goals your you know you know conquering your day uh and that makes you happy and that hustle basically it has that go-getter vibe to it's like like you said attacking yes it's the choice of the word that you show it's like that's why I find it I personally find it a little aggressive that approach you know go get it and it's you know may I don't honestly uh believe in Hustle culture I believe more in Pasar culture basically yeah honestly it uh it's not for everyone I think one of the biggest things that I've discovered uh is that music is right uh I was that's you as a person that that's me as a person and I've seen people in my family very close to me who just don't get it and that is what get the culture of hustle because it's not coming from within it's not something that is in their own yeah I have not seen that to be a positive outcome mostly so you think yeah go-getter attitude this is a very personal thing and people who have it have it and people who don't have it don't have it is that what you're saying yes can people learn it people do learn it uh you know I've seen that also but I think it's your DNA it's what you grew up with uh and it is a part of your inherent personality um in the way you you know approach things yeah yeah that's what I have seen typically here and the hustle does not necessarily mean being successful or I in my company for example like to hire foxes and hedgehogs both okay different kind of uh meanings and allergies but overall for me that is some people stay calm they do one thing they do that one thing supremely well and then there are foxes who do 10 things um and they do all those 10 things on time you know perfectly good Hustlers they're Hustlers he's a hustler yeah it basically means that he he's tackling more than you know more than a general person could like he's challenging his ability like capabilities every day and yeah he's not stopping yeah absolutely so so there are all kinds of people here Matlab Hustler is a word to me it's not something that uh I feel it's you know it's breaking or moving the needle for me as a person that person is doing a better job it is a part of your DNA it's a part of justice and that might lead you to success it's such an important thing to say what you just said because I also agree that some people are Hustlers by just the way they're built and some people are maybe their philosophy is slightly different their approach to things is slightly different they're not as aggressive in their approach they're not as uh they may not be as ambitious also sometimes which is which is okay which is perfectly fine but yeah motivational content you know what I mean yeah mostly mostly internet internet because it's not sustainable right if it's you can attempt it you can attempt it but if it's not within you um you know you want to become the best swimmer in the in the in the city or in the country then and you know some people career that's the biggest aspiration in life in general some people look at jobs just like jobs and I have other aspects to my life that are equally important to me some people are like me I will hustle my way to the top yeah so when you said this is what reminded me of that I know so many of my friends are very ambitious so many of my friends are doing and they're happy with that there's nothing wrong with that right absolutely not because either you can listen to who you are or you can fight it fighting it is not sustainable it's not helpful in the long run success is not coming only to hustlers foreign you know all the chemicals in the body dopamine releases through hustle some people are calm impactful but calm the hustle is not there but they are so amazing at what they do and then their Hustlers were driving some parts of the business which these guys could not able to do Fair don't know it's at the absolute right uh equal spot but do you think that this word hustle has become like a catchphrase on social media to you know just uh you know what I mean yeah I had to stay away I don't know much yeah you're not like you're not active on social media uh I try to stay away why it's a waste of my time I should not say this but you said it not editing that out at all oh God yeah I think uh you know personally for me personally it is doesn't you know give me the best uh value for my time a business runs on social with me you really are talking like a hustler it does not give me value for my time oh my God please as some women yeah you know we've spent countless time I don't enjoy it right I like to keep my life private and I like to not be out there and personally about six seven ten years back but now I think uh They're all playing with our minds and as a someone whose career depends on social media I will maintain my silence on this but uh yeah honestly if I talk about myself United has made me very uncomfortable because I'm an actor writer content creator and I have Ambitions this I've talked about in a YouTube video also about pelecki um especially as men and it's such a competitive world out there everybody doesn't get to the top yeah that's not how ranking works if someone is at the top there will be people at the bottom also right and everybody finds their own place eventually but there is this constant pressure give it your best shot and that honestly scares me I feel that it's it becomes like a rat race and then sometimes you stop enjoying what you're actually doing you forget yeah and you know people take careers why because they want to earn money so as long as that need is being met it is okay to have your ambition at like aspiration and ambition at 50 also it's very personal some people compromise their comfort just to get successful they're like for example um I'm an actor people keep telling me to Bombay shift or opportunities and I'm aware of that and I'm aware I may be losing out on opportunities but I know the kind of person that I am if I go to Bombay and if I put myself in such an uncomfortable position yeah it's not going to motivate me it's going to demotivate me yeah because me as a person I thrive in a little bit of comfort and a lot of ambition yeah but if that Comfort is snatched away from me the comfort of being people around people that matter to me the comfort of having a personal life comfort of having friends next to me I will I will not survive yeah and you know and I keep thinking like same advice that I will not cross I will hustle till the point but the moment it starts taking over my life I may step back and and I've accepted that maybe you can still wish for the Stars and still be okay with whatever little you get because you know efforts correct correct correct so I've come to this realization which is why I strongly feel that you know this hustle culture this concept has to be customized for everyone everyone is very differently built mentally yeah yeah yeah no I think you're absolutely right uh I don't know if I made sense but you made you made yeah I think that's what we've been talking also right the the it's very uh you know subjective uh and you know I'll tell you what happens it is not to me it is not to prove to others who I am what I am what I am capable of the realization is as an you know when I'm growing also uh it is about internalization how can you prove to yourself your own Worth and be content and happy with that that is the whole game inter you know external validation is a bottomless pit is that an attack [Laughter] seriously that I don't know if it helps somebody to know that uh seeking validation it's a good push for people but you can't depend on it forever yeah yeah yeah yeah most amazing things in your life will come from your internal drive which is also dependent on talk Channel factors But ultimately it all settles down on your own um most cases you should be happy or you should be fine with it that's what I have learned which stands the test of time in supermarkets in New York and Paris and you know Melbourne it's my journey I want to do it my way and that drive comes from a lot of other factors but mostly it's an internal most of it is internal are you a competitive person here if I say I'm not then I would be lying a lot um we are made to believe every decision that we take in life is a make or break situation and life is so strange that sometimes it may feel like the best decision at that point five years later it won't even matter and sometimes just direction that will lead up to such a big door so you also have to understand that life has its own plans sometimes you know and it's not one decision is not going to change your life yes it's an amalgamation of a lot of other factors yeah no this is my biggest one of my biggest learnings in business in life that uh there is no end game there is no end point from cat destination okay absolutely so so you because I started a very very young very early business so I think uh I have made so many mistakes to realize yeah um I hear it sometime and I'm like no if you're not taking time off then you will trust and to make perspective on the things that you're doing and you know you take decisions and then you need time off to understand yeah do I really want this momentary both are and I also feel that yeah so many people will be on Crossroads in life multiple times should I go for option A should I go for option b I just want to sometimes say to them here it doesn't matter whatever you choose will lead you somewhere no matter which path you take life will take you somewhere yes but it leads to dorby only yeah yeah right so every decision is not make or break just you know just do what you think makes sense right now yeah and it should be your own decision that's another important factor it should not be influenced by people I mean it should be you should hear your folks out you should hear your family out in fact good well wishes out but overall yeah out of uh your own will area because what decisions you will maybe not feel very content with it and that will reflect in the outcome of that decision because you're not putting it in the right way yeah because they were not cut out for academics yes yes if you're not made for something how do you expect to and yeah personal opinion is not an advice to people I just feel that sometimes both advice but then people talk so much about it where you no longer know what your heart wants yeah this is such an important point you've mentioned because when I was starting rage at that time um but overall I was starting to figure out here you are special or your business will be special because you have identified something that others can't or others have not okay is filling the gapsco basically then you will get a uh you know data set of advice that is actually you know not even true absolutely that's relevant it's not relevant actually so productive it's not productive for you yeah I mean you will end up not doing something because you've taken advice from people who don't get it um they're not the right jury for this yeah so to as you mentioned why is over exposure of your uh you know ideas or your thoughts sometimes I feel that it leads to all you know the killing the joy of doing something you tell me what was your hustle as an entrepreneur what were the struggles what was what would you call your hustle Hassan again my hustle has been I think just the drive to uh make my own worth count to myself when I was 21 I founded a internet company I joined a large organization my mom told me um actually so my mom my mom asked me rather you know and I was very angry I was very Furious so she figured it around she was like they're not uh you know giving me enough respect and my mom's like TK Matlab respect in the sense and I had done throughout my college life I had done several internships foreign just the ability to go out and now it's changed I want to uh generate you know Mira Target and then I want to generate 10 000 people's employment in the next five years uh I need to uh be able to build a brand that is globally well known Indian brand um but overall it stems from the same things that yeah can you do it can you attempt to do it I tell myself I'll ask myself and then if the answer is yes I said let's try it something else will happen out of it hmm so that's all it's so interesting that hustle means such different things to people like if I look at my own Journey my hustle has not been my work my hustle has been not giving up my hustle has been every day waking up and you know still believing yeah in the bigger picture these small little steps small little victories will lead me somewhere even though like as an actor every week you give so many auditions and then you never hear back yeah or you get rejected and then you see people getting ahead and you're like wobbies am I in the wrong field or or when will I know that it is time to give up yeah because you don't know you see the thing is so you will always have to live with the doubt key what if what if we'll never you will never get an answer to what if in life so my hustle has always constantly been to still keep at it that has been my hustle that is also my hustle that you I don't have only one kind of hustle or the I think also with everyone I think that's also true you know and the other thing is that uh keeping at it is the fundamental thing every day you wake up and you are like I have to go after this again Journeys I have a 2017-18 when I was trying to build rage uh you know and start rage rather many times I woke up in the morning and there's a there was a voice in my head that told me you know stain hmm and now you might say that it's easy that it's behind me so I can say this but Aqua is just uh maybe 30cs are the loud loud get up go run you're not going to sit home so I think because because my discoveries were all with the manufacturers many times I was kicked out of their offices also because um you know salaries and these people were people who believed in me and then um who are looking up to you right that is disappointment and that is something mercos I have to get these Pi they believe in me I have to go out for them every day I wanted to bring up this whole idea of taking breaks and taking time offs is because again my personal opinion hustle culture and whatever you know of it from the internet leaves no space for it and it's I mean it's great that people want to hustle and all but I just think that um because you are you are your biggest asset if you lose yourself in the process then it doesn't matter what you were chasing because you're not in it anymore yeah yet burnout is a real thing it's been very real it is very real and yeah let's tell our listeners what the word burnout means yeah uh you know to me it happened when I was running my first company um and and mostly I think I wasn't aware um in fact I have not digressed much into it to I just know one thing that has sold the company because I burnt out that company had so much potential it had so much it could do but just because I actually just lost interest because I burnt out hmm you know I was a sports person I was on the goal always your sports what sports did you find well I was playing football I played football you know throughout my school life college life I mean something that gives me happiness right do you still play I play I try to play yeah oh that's great available for anybody every day if 12 hours and then suddenly I think one or two months I was like I just don't want to go to office I don't want to do this anymore I don't want to see those same faces I I just and to me then I realized that I burnt out and and that was to go going back in that space is you know uh I I think of it and I actually feel like yeah because you know this Clockwork life that had happened creators I'm sure all the creators listening to this if they are uh they would relate to this key creators in a burnout so happen very quickly very periodically every third fourth month where you wake up with this anxiety here and you know Rose contentment questions but sometimes that entire process becomes it weighs you down heavy feeling yeah so I become extremely unproductive when I am under pressure force myself to make content which is happening by the way right now that cycle is I I'm glad I'm shooting this podcast I'll give it two three days I'll give it a week foreign yeah if you're in a job could be aggressive could be simple nine to five whatever right you're answerable to one or two people you're reporting to your immediate manager mostly yeah as a business person as somebody who's doing anything that is running a team collectively and that pressure is on you then you have more at stake than your employees is that nice let's talk about the responsibilities the accountability yeah you are accountable to your employees your accountable to your vendors your accountable to your customers and even if your employees mess up it's you who's going to have to of course fire it's going to trickle down trickle up to you actually uh you know that it's um to me I would not do anything else in life right but you're also answerable to your investors you're answerable to the you know the if you are lucky enough to build a large company you're answerable to people who've put faith in you in the form of money accountability accountability is like every profession has its own you know challenges when you go on social media and you see about entrepreneurs and it's become like a thing you know entrepreneurship there is so much conversation about it they always talk about I'm My Own Boss nobody's my boss I'm My Own Boss but boss if you are honest to your job uh as an entrepreneur as a leader debunk this myth where people say that certain professions where people have flexible hours that basically means that doesn't mean sometimes yeah sure like as a content creator some days I can choose not to shoot but that's also because some days I have to shoot for like 20 30 days without a break and I'm not saying that my profession is any more difficult than yours or yours is any more difficult than someone else's because that actually brings me to another topic Bharat does hustle ever stop it's for each to his own hustles if the hustle is not coming from within and the definition of hustle also changes right right when I started out for example I was spending 14 16 hours a day right in front of the system got a back problem put on a lot of weight you know burnt out in four years right but then they were learnings so I think uh the it evolves it the definition should change and that's about it but for me personally I think that's the way of life for me but for somebody who's borrowing it or thinking of doing it because it might not be sustainable that's my personal view this is what how I feel that's a lot of food for thought actually and I would I think we're coming to the close of this episode now uh we're coming close to the end of this episode what am I saying and uh is and I've realized that there is no one thought that will make sense to everybody on the whole everybody approaches their careers their aspirations so differently and hustle means so many different things to people yeah and you have to just decided for yourself I think and just don't just don't burn out just self-preservation is as important as how successful you are because if you don't if you're not taking care of your mental health if you're not understanding who you are as a person and how far you can go understand your boundaries understand how far you can go for success the journey is going to be difficult yeah yeah no you've summed it up really well actually just focus on your own Journey and um try to make time for you know happy things small things and yeah just try to find some just breathe just breathe it's it's not a make or break decision that you have to take right now and uh with that we come to our next segment which is called word association game you know how I'll give you a word you say that the first word that comes to your mind you can't take time let's start yeah okay the first word is entrepreneurship hustle wow convenient energy mind soul Hustle you can't say entrepreneurship quick quick Hustle um man company show wow free time free time family movies don't watch Instagram um business relaxing travel competition lovely success success Joy okay that's it uh before we let you go I'm gonna ask you one final question Define the modern gentleman in one word confident confident okay aware confident okay so according to Bharat if there could be one word that could you know Define the modern gentleman it would be confident confident in their Journey confident with their hustle as we like to call it um thank you so much this was a very insightful conversation I I have so much food for thought after this like I'm gonna go back home and think about so many things that you've put so simply easily thank you so much I hope you had a good time on this podcast thank you so much I had a wonderful time and uh I think uh we did not even get to know how much time we spent yeah we've been talking for so long but thank you so much everyone for tuning in this is ankush bahogany signing off from yet another episode of the gentleman show by the man company and please give us your feedback on social media at the rate ankush bhavna at the rate the man company and also you can watch this on YouTube and tell us in the comments what you think and um I promise I'll read them okay all right all right I'll see you in the next episode bye,M,530,14,0,"Dec 7, 2022"
The Man Company,"The Gentleman Show | S1E12 | Abishek Kumar | Nirmal Pillai| @Ankush bahuguna",https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Zt2B-h6i2E,don't forget to like comment share subscribe and press the Bell icon so that the next time the episode comes up you get a notification we are very different and we're both men but his idea of being a man is this [Music] so it's kind of like a slap to the society what about you know the head of there [Music] idea of beauty the society you should look like this [Music] is I mean who can do without best friends there can you imagine life without them I I can't foreign two very good friends and stand-up comedians as much as uh Nirmal would like to disagree we have Nirmal and Abhishek coming in all the way from Chennai hi ankush thank you so much for having us and uh thank you we feel very special we've been flown from Chennai to Delhi hello podcast and to get to chill with you on the couch yeah and they've given us water water these earphones which are very special one second it will tell me what was your problem with me calling you stand up comedians yeah I wanted to know what stand-up comedian yeah I it's just because I'm very new in stand-up comedy so I was doing content so it's just been like two months or something thing so it feels wrong to just say that stand to claim that to claim that I am standard because you realize it'll be very weird for him to introduce comedian animal and stand up comedian yeah yeah yeah I know so yeah that's not a comedian stand up comedian you're okay with that okay cool so I mean tell me what's up guys uh what's your absolute first reaction sitting here I I don't know podcast is such a big deal number one yeah at least in India abroad being blown up Spotify giving you Million Dollar Deals and all yeah but it's great you mine hasn't come yet but manifested you make it seem very cool man it is it's fun no the first time I'm saying makeup for podcast you know there is a makeup and there's a cute or a podcast yeah exactly so it feels great it it feels like okay we should we should put in some effort I feel like I'm less prepared for this less prepared yeah during a stand-up comedian like you that you know the expectations are a little like uh higher yeah even I'm a comedian I think I'm not a stand-up comedian but wow he's back what do you think yeah I mean now now that you said that there's pressure to think of jokes but uh no that's absolutely okay no pressure on you guys let's start with uh how did you both become friends how do you know each other this this fellow will tell one story no not like the story is false so I used to judge fests I used to judge theater Fest I was and this guy I thought just as a as just judge people and also but uh I got paid for judging a theater Fest in IIT Madras they have this Fest called Sarang Nirmal was in nit and he came there to participate to participate participate he was two years three years for context this guy at that time was a 5000 follower guy like mini celebrity again and then every time every time when I'm saying the story he interrupts to put this context which does not it helps it helps for what reason it helps to make you awkward I'm guessing exactly I don't know there's no emphasis on that but okay so I finished there's a small break of 10 minutes he comes out of nowhere he's like bro I have this rap I want to perform this rap for you I'm like okay what is the Rapport it's a Dosa wrap it's about Dosa okay and then he starts rapping and then normal you will continue what happened that's it so basically what happened is I knew he was some popular gay or something I don't know how to approach people I just decided I'm gonna do yeah you clear it's been three years now I don't know one line of what he wrapped okay it was very very clear now so even he does it yeah yeah so and he stops after a point he realized no one's able to understand he's like that's it bro and he leaves okay okay so it was a great icebreaking session I had with this young energetic kid basically I wanted to hear like what do I do with this with the rap yeah I'm sorry I didn't you told me you told me you told me I'm making into a video yeah then I'll understand he'll have lyrics [Laughter] when he says thank you he doesn't sound very thankful at least then I'll understand that's that's what I meant by thank you but you should you should it's it's very funny was it one of those situations where someone comes in they're having a conversation you can't hear anything's like oh yeah yeah yeah yes no but his conviction was so good like he according to him that was the best rap ever he was he was Kendrick Lamar for those two and a half minutes so it felt great I was admiring his confidence and conviction but not the context of it and then this is how you guys met but how did you become friends huh that in during the lockdown I what two three of his videos surfaced and I realized he's very funny and I remembered I connected the dots telling what is the same those are up guys and like there's something distinctly funny about him he's not usual funny different funny and I wanted to work with him so I hit him up telling do you want to make videos together and you were already making videos he was already he already blew up with this character called Mrs janaki that he did yeah one one character I did it blew up during locked on so I have this thing like it's weird asking someone bigger than you to collaborate you know they'll feel like you're leaching on there yeah but it's always nice if you ask someone lower you're not obligated to right right you won't feel guilty yeah so I I really like this work it was very distinctly funny so I asked him if he can if you want to collaborate and we started making videos and that's how you became friends yeah yeah uh show me your t-shirt it's the same t-shirt same t-shirt same t-shirt yeah it's h m wow yeah oh we can't say h m it's the man companies from the Wardrobe Department of man company it's a shout out to wardrobe Department that's so cool yeah yeah wow it reminds me of that Meme that's floating on the internet that if two women you know see each other wearing the same dress they get like oh [ __ ] in the same dress and when two men they're like they bond they bond over it it's it's smart that you got a jacket on top yeah yeah it looks good on you please hold me if you take it off I think yeah you do look like me from the future I think if you take it off what's that just future me ah okay future me never met let's move on I say stupid now I feel what you felt that day like like your time time traveled and you were 10 years yeah yeah yeah and I'm stuck between both of you and yeah oh God okay I should have stopped explaining it yeah so how growing up how are your male friendships like do you still have uh those uh amazing for me friends itself I think you can have a very few tight extremely tight friends types so I did have one of my friend my best friend till to date is we were in the same lkg section we were throughout school we were in the same section in college we studied the same course we did the same job until like I quit like a few uh sometime back so yeah he's still my best friend types in college also I met some three four other guys were extremely tight friends with me school I've lost everybody else except that one dude so um Abhishek do you are you are you someone who really values friendships in life oh yeah at some point I I think after during my first relationship I got really distracted by falling into the relationship love and all that so you lost friends I didn't lose friends I I wasn't as tight with my best friends when I was in that honeymoon phase of the relationship but that always happens I I realized that I should it shouldn't have happened that way because my friends got really pissed about the fact that I didn't spend as much time and they didn't like the person you were dating let me know they they did like her but then it wasn't the same you know whenever I went I had so much to catch up yeah it didn't feel right right later relationships felt so good because I balanced time well if I had gone on a date I'll make sure I meet my friends after that you know I made sure they were always in the loop of things yeah I you know there's this uh thing that I've realized over time that your relationships everything is like nothing beats friendships in life yeah nothing yeah because you know your your girlfriends your boyfriends everything they'll come and go but who's gonna stay your friend exactly it's a constant right and you know it's the only relationship which is not which happens the most organically absolutely like especially dating and all you seek dates yeah absolutely people absolutely fall in love with and whatever um Family you don't have a choice yeah friends are the only people you know you just come together and it just clicks and it happens and there are no expect like there is the right amount of distance they don't demand too much yeah but you still fulfill each other's you know you make each other's lives more wholesome to think about it I I don't remember the first time I met my best friends you know it was so organic it's like a dream I don't know where the dream started you know yeah but it's going great so that's very true of it it's so organic that you don't know how it started yeah but it's the best yeah I mean I want my listeners to also think about this key when you think of your best friends do you remember the first day you met probably not you have great memories but no yeah time passes and you don't realize how important this one person becomes for you exactly exactly oh my God yeah that's so true that's so true yeah and it's you know in case of men especially because you know we all grow up uh thinking that it's not okay for us to express cry whatever it's only with their friends where their safe space lies oh yeah I think even if they've done something wrong which is also slightly problematic that your friends will always hype you up no matter what [ __ ] you've done uh but I think in case of men their safe space is always their friends yes never their family it's never their Partners it's somehow always their friends know yeah so true so true recently recently we had a show in Dubai yeah it was my first ever international trip oh wow I have two of my best friends in school once in San Francisco one is in Auckland they both flew to Dubai for the show that's only friends can do that man I still don't know why they did that I I would have not done it even if it was as rich as them both yeah but they came they didn't come for the show they stayed with us two days yeah they booked the same hotel we were staying in and you guys chilled we chilled it we haven't chilled like that in ages I haven't met these guys because the code happened and all that it's been three years since I saw their faces we had a trip in Dubai but I think only yeah best friends can do [ __ ] like that somehow these two because they're best friends with them or something and he's friends with me they just accepted me fully yeah yeah no nothing it was so adopted to be able to adopted it's great to be adopted by rich people man and they're clearly Rich if they flew to Dubai yeah they're not revealing a lot of financial details to me but yeah I'm happy for them do you all do you sometimes find yourself seeking validation from your friends like for example my friends are I wouldn't say that they love what I do because I mean they don't think that I'm that funny and I've I've made them at a point where you know I mean I was a different I used to be a very different person back then when I was in this conference and whatever so know me from then so now the Nokia I mean we're very happy for whatever you're doing but we know you from the college like you're at the college for me yeah yeah and initially in my journey I used to get like a little myth that you know why are you not supportive and it's not like they're not supportive they're just not my audience you know yeah they don't particularly find me funny they're like uh what's the big deal yeah you're funnier in real life like no matter how funny I am in my videos they'd be like yeah but you're funnier when you're not trying you know when you're just talking then you're funnier what are you doing this have realized very early on like in initially when I just started making videos and stuff the first two videos or something all my friends shared and stuff like that soon they stopped and I was that time I was curious I was like why is nobody supporting but then I realized that they are not obligated to yeah it's not their thing to and that's when I realized okay and my goal is to not make my friends keep sharing my stuff all the time it's to make General audience yeah and feel that and and that's where it becomes special yeah at some point they share some video yeah you know that video you know that's extremely funny I'm a massive validation yeah so that always happens because I don't share any of my work on my friends groups and all that so at some point if it surfaces on my friend's group telling this is funny that means that video is done really well yeah yeah so so my so my guy best friend uh who's always told me on my face that uh you're trying too hard you're not really funny like I mean he didn't say you're not funny he said you're funny in real life but when you're making content I know you as a person so I know when you try when you're trying to crack a joke you know people inside out right when you're best friends with them so recently I did a short film and he specially message me saying dude what a performance I know that it was you but it didn't still didn't feel like you and I've seen you act in it always I always am aware that oh he's trying to act but this time you didn't and that meant so much to me that meant way more than all the other compliments that I got but what happens what is the dynamic between you two then because like you said you can disconnect with your friends but with you you can't we can't yeah you connect further but but then we discuss about things of content creation of Comedy as you do we discuss about as much it happened gradually yeah because first few times when you're just making videos that's all on your mind that's the only commenting you know as soon as you spend more time we know other common factors common it's about realizing that it's a safe space yeah to talk about anything so we gain trust over yeah this one and a half years that we can talk about anything right you can talk about this yeah like for example this podcast going before this right we were texting each other about how it's going and how we have to prepare yeah and then he's like my pet is not good so the tangents to our conversation are amazing slips uh he slips out all your emotions so easily I look at him being clueless there must be something do nothing like he doesn't even fart I don't know it's very silent see again the fart is also Incognito if I fart I'm just like that nobody if you need to hear that we did not need that is ladies and gentlemen this is why now now when you watch movies um and how movies represent best friends and all do you think that's true some movies some movies even we watched together and we're like to do this yeah friends don't make plans that easily first of all but friends don't have so much money yeah but it's aspirational we're like we should go have you seen this but there's something about movies on friendships that you will watch them no matter how bad there are some friendship movies that are not great but you want to find a Vibe just the fact that they're about friends and you watch them and you're like I want to experience everything that I've read in books but one of the last Friends movie watching you're like I related to it yeah I mean it was not a male friendship movie but last I finished that show called The Bold type oh yeah it's about three women and they're they're friends so I love watching shows and movies where it's about friendship and friendship takes precedence over everything else yeah because that's how I see my life I'm like very true very true yeah yeah same the only thing I whine a lot I crib a lot about everything in life the one thing I always say that I lucked out on is friends it's the one and sometimes when I'm feeling really low I remind myself that listen like I've for the longest time I've had such good friends who've stuck around and nothing has gone wrong and that is there is so much to be grateful for like in there yeah but then when I see these movies where they're making these Euro trip plans and I go back to my group where half the people haven't responded someone saying Q I have a heaven at home so I can't go to Europe and someone has already gone in the meanwhile someone has already made a plan and gone yeah without us my friends are binary they either come to Dubai or you don't meet them for three years so I relate to it to to meet them in Chennai because they're right now in Chennai I haven't met them it's been three four weeks so it's very tough to put plans together and also the whole idea that friends will give you the best advice no they don't no no become the worst advice they give impulsive advices just to end the conversation right there like oh yeah yeah eat orange it's good for your skin I'm like okay thanks how's that going to help me get the girl back eating an orange exactly how do I get to Auckland with orange on my face but uh what are the worst advices that like friends have given you worst advices yeah mine was stand up to people in your office oh yes and why what happened there I mean in general you know like if you feel that someone's not giving you your Duo whatever stand up to people in your office and all that and it's so filled me to say all of these things but then you know it makes things awkward yeah like that and turns out was my fault so I don't think my friends have given me best advices they just know I'm easily uh tauntable you know they taunt me so much they make me really this is also a trait now is it a word I just made it up I just made it up but I'm sure a lot of people relate yeah so very easy to taunt you basically yeah very easy to taunt me like for example there's once we hit a basketball outside our school premise okay it fell into a neighbor's house this cash flow just jump get the ball and come I jumped I got the ball no one was there around me except my Peterson was a huge stick he whacked the [ __ ] out of me I had to see my friends last I met them was in Dubai after that so it was they just disappeared very in stealth mode what about you worst advice I don't think anybody's given me worst advice because usually what happens is we have if I have a problem or somebody else has a problem we sit together and we try to figure out what are we gonna do for this it's like that it's like a break group project yes it becomes a group project at the end okay this sounds like a movie you know yeah I have a problem then the next team they're all together but in reality yeah okay yours is little scripted the life definitely scripted in in North India this is like a recurring joke between friends key you know there's a line called it's it basically means that uh a lot of people in North India get drunk and they have this urge to drive [Laughter] okay so it's a sentiment so if you Bhai basically mean meaning like my best friend right so no matter how drunk the guy is he will tell his best friend it's a sentiment is there anything like that um with you guys like a sentiment yeah I I think we we work on this motor even yesterday we're talking is there like a line that you that people in South industry a lot okay we related to it it's basically means basically but us specifically what we like doing is when we're on this tour we realized every time we're in a new city both of us are equally excited we are impulsive Max that every after every show that night we go Sleepless we explore the city we do all the cliche stuff and we want to do like we'll drag some people whoever is there our friends who are there in the particular City yeah this is such a good topic to discuss man like you can be best friends with people but they could be horrible travel companions yeah yeah I think that's where we locked down because we're equally curious as to what the new city maybe that's how you bonded man yeah maybe maybe yeah because you like traveling so much and I don't know there's something about trips that everything is just two times more philosophical oh yeah everything in life makes sense and everything is aspirational you feel less guilty wasting time in another city yeah than your city yeah that's what I feel yeah yeah okay in my city if I were doing a night out the entire night I'm like I'm wasting so much time I should have been home foreign but in Delhi I feel like I'm holidaying yeah how does matter how productive I am yeah basically I'm not holidaying I'm here for work but still I can but this is one night in Delhi I feel like accumulating those experiences are also part of your work early we're doing something new yeah absorbing so many new things you're like whoa yeah it'll reflect somewhere you know in a way now that I hear this uh hear you say this I realize that it's actually good that you have someone who will have your back yeah yeah yeah because the advice that he'll give you nobody else will and I know because I have genuine friends in the content creation industry and you know have I looked at their success and felt like oh [ __ ] you know I could have been there yes but I think it's human tendency to constantly like for me yeah it's human tendency to compare your journey with other people even if they're your friends but I've realized that it's okay if it's a trans it's a transient feeling and eventually if you're also feeling happy for them then it's absolutely fine eventually if you are still feeling happy for that friend it's it's great but um it's good to have friends in the same industry because sometimes they will look out for you yeah in ways that you don't understand like yeah for example there there is a video of mine which went viral for the wrong reason people started questioning it with a lot of comments on it we had a conversation that night okay I asked him what's wrong about this video he told you he told me this uh he told me how they are why they're receiving it wrong you know if it makes any difference so I don't think I can have such conversations with my best friends who won't understand yeah the Dynamics of content creation yeah in fact like I find it so important to have friends in the same profession also because other friends may not like you said understand yeah what your professional entails yeah like for example if I crave about my follower account decreasing friends they'll call it a first world problem we're having a Saturday night uh Google meet call just come there yeah and if I tell that to my content creator friends they'll be like okay cool I'll give you a shout out and you know maybe your engagement that works that works then I mean some yeah but um it's great to have your friends because I ask these questions because you know a lot of friends they start business together and things don't go well sometimes yeah and then their friendship breaks oh [ __ ] like it's such a common thing it's so many movies have been made on this that you know two friends that they see a dream together they work towards it yeah yeah then something goes wrong along the way but I think what Jesus said is so important to know that the underlining thing is that you are friends and you never forget that you're supposed to Hype each other yeah no I also feel that it's important that we both have our own individual Brands yeah and the collaboration just amplifies so that and these two things how do you maintain that individual also another question as professionals not as friends when you're working together when people are watching you now they're seeing you together as a pair yeah how do you cast your individual Impressions without trying to outdo each other so I think our individual content is a is it different from each other it's a little different right yeah that that makes us help stand out I think because if if we are the same people doing videos together and individually it will become boring you know I think we are little aware yeah I think we're little different from each other in terms of individual content that makes them want to follow us both well what if one of you gets very viral because of your individual content I think both of us have had faces of having these viral videos yeah okay one of the other videos every three months I think we've had one video do well okay yeah individually which in which the other person was not there yeah I'm talking about I think we are fairly confident that if you do a video together it will do well yeah because we are extra careful in amping up the quality yeah I'm talking about individual videos every three months at least is one video which does well for each other and that doesn't change I have one more point that I wanted to add is this guy also one great thing is he also knew a lot about another industry which is Tamil film industry okay which is acted in so much which I I then I I got it yeah I've done only four films so that's not so much to me when I got like a I think he only put me through to somebody who was looking to audition people for so I got an opportunity to act in one Tamil thing film and this is a completely different ball game from content yeah so it was so great to have him there like behind my back just to be like hey you know what you can charge this much this is what you can do this is what you can't do this is how people are here dude all of that that was so good I had uh I had such good friends in the content creation industry before I got into the scene who would tell me this is how much you should charge and there's not something anybody can tell you exactly exactly you can never ask that you you're not supposed to disclose it yeah I will get back to you yeah I will get back to you have you ever realized that um especially with male friendships a lot is normalized a lot of bad things are also normalized between guys because they understand oh you know it's fine you're a guy you'll do this you'll say this you get you get away with a lot because sometimes your male best friends don't call you out on things yeah they don't correct you because it's just so convenient that you I think I've been that annoying friend who calls out everything because I'm I'm fine-tuned I fine-tuned my head to be politically right because you put out content you you and your friends hate you no no yeah yeah I have this one friend who's uh very insensitive let's put it that way he he he says what he thinks there's no filter to him and I'm that guy like he's so annoying if he does not like a content creator he go comment mean stuff he's a Troll he's a troll and I'm like will you do that to me if I was not your friend he's like yeah wow yeah what do you say to that so every time I and even when you follow someone right their comments are surfacing when you read them you can't ignore it I screenshot and said to him telling why he's so mean why like this so he hates me there were periods where he's blocked me from Instagram because I can't my monitor is notorious stuff because you're like uh yeah so I'm very glad I'm the friend who calls her stuff because this guy would be oblivious to all the [ __ ] he says you know he can be he can ruin someone's day yeah but I've okay fair yeah what what about you I think I was in a part where uh like I was in a phase where we did not know that we were doing wrong things because all of us are together and we were doing like nobody knows better nobody knows we were in school we were doing shitty things all the time yeah not done shitty things yeah in the recent past I'm a little more aware so he maintains yes that's what he says but in college also in the first two years something it's just you enter College testosterone is running through you you don't know what you're doing you're just a no okay sorry not your uh you're a mean person sometimes okay to people and then slowly the harm is done you realize right slowly you realize through what happened with us all is we started realizing it together by its second year third year and now we're like oh you're walking in a randomly no it kind of us are [ __ ] kind of you start realizing dude what we were put but see for example in my college in my college I was ragging yeah and we got ragged in first year and we naturally assume that when we go to second year or something we also have to Rag and that's what we ended up doing for a long time and that's when you're trying to put on that bravado that mask or all that [ __ ] and then do that again so you're doing all of that and then slowly third year we realized that this is a very toxic cycle because when you're in first year 50 years are coming and telling you this is how you should be passouts are coming and telling you this so that's what you think is true so it took us to the third year to realize that you know what this is not correct this is not okay we stopped by then dude everything you say I relate so much because I had to say architecture yeah you're an architect yeah oh that's why okay okay yeah because the first day you dragged so badly yeah the second year you're like I'm gonna claim my space exactly and third year like what was the point of all of this exactly like people are mean to me and in return I was mean to random people yeah yeah how does that make sense it does and then that's when we stopped now when we went back to college also yeah he was he was very woke in college he walks and he asks he randomly is Jonas will be walking he stops them you're going good no I can see so much stress on your face no that's because they were first years who came up to us and they were like damn sure man yeah no these guys were these guys are first year architecture people who came yeah he studied in the most engineering college but he picked architecture nit trichy but architecture so I think you have a different problem from him yeah I think he was mostly lagged by Engineers certainly no no no architecturally that yeah there's one yeah so um so like I was saying not to make the discussion serious but I just think this this should be addressed why not uh a lot of times like for example if a couple fights and the guy is being an [ __ ] and he's done something problematic when he goes back to his guy friends his guy friends rarely tell him that oh you shouldn't have done that they they kind of support they tell him yeah but you know you shouldn't have done that but you know what do we do sometimes it happens and you know a lot in in male groups a lot of times male I find some things very problematic about male bonding also yeah a lot of times men Bond over the worst things yeah there's so much to bond over like we've discussed in this episode which is why I wanted to bring this towards the end then what is the reason that you Bond over objectification of women in your WhatsApp groups yeah like I'm sure growing up we've all been a part of those WhatsApp groups and it took me a while to exit them because when you do that then they're like oh why are you becoming such an activist why do you want to do this and you know like sometimes at someone your own moral compass shifts and theirs haven't yeah I've actually seen this a lot where in other friend circles in my own College itself there have been people one guy did nasty [ __ ] to a girl like and the others in that group they didn't call it out call it out at all and we were back there seeing this yeah yeah yeah correct correct it normalizes things for others who haven't done it yet but will think that oh he also did it what's the big deal yeah and I can always come back and tell him yeah so that felt very and we I also we tried having a conversation with this guy also just two of us we were like dude do you think it was okay to do what you did on something he's like hey I was feeling angry and I was like okay that's not yeah but it's but it doesn't go through them also it they want to take it in a receptive way like oh yeah I did something wrong and that doesn't happen you know especially with male bonding for example when I would uh a lot of times when you for example in offices when you sit to have lunch with just men and there is no woman around there's a way mental yeah yeah there's a way men talk about women and everybody bonds over the fact oh this is the only space where we can do this which they think is a good thing they don't realize that it's not even this should not be it's not it shouldn't happen yeah yeah there should be no safe space for this yeah for objectification for example or talking like saying lewd things about women in the office and I have been in so many groups I've been in so many situations and it's so difficult to just get up and tell them that dude stop yeah but I think this happened recently to a friend of mine yeah who's never dated before okay and he got married recently he has never had a female companion but he was he married he's married now so we went to because he he luckily after his marriage he shifted to Goa officially like they placed him in Goa yeah so when we went for Holiday we stayed in this place then we realized that this guy is still cracking jokes with his wife watching it and I was so glad the other friend I was with was in the same line with me like the jokes didn't get responses yeah okay and his wife was getting really awkward then we had to sit and explain to him telling listen this is not okay he he was like why are you not laughing it's not funny or what then we went back home we had to explain to him on the WhatsApp group telling forget it's telling these jokes in front of your wife I think these jokes are no more jokes I think we have to grow out of it I think I never had the opportunity to watch him through the face in college and all because we were school friends right I met him after this whole period of maturing if you can call it that so I'm so glad the other friend of mine was also in same lines with me because it's very awkward when you confront a friend alone yeah rather than confronting a friend they get defensive they don't yeah learn and also I think it's a lot to do with ourselves also we don't want to be the outcast also now because like for example there have been people who have told me to my face that you know we don't want to discuss things in front of you because then you become all like oh you should know this friend received it the same way yeah but then he realized his wife also maybe had a talk with him or something maybe he came back to telling but it's because his wife was involved so he understood what I'm saying it it shouldn't be that way even if she was not there right exactly even or not that's what I'm telling I'm so glad the other friend was with me was in line with me if he had laughed for the joke the whole scenario would have been different you know as men we've all been in situations where a bunch of men are bonding they may not be your best friends they must just be like yeah yeah organizers whatever oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah and they say a lot of Success Street and we just sit there and we don't say much yeah yeah we don't say much and I think that I wanted to address this on the podcast because I've I realized that we've talked such good things about male friendships and that should be the basis of male friendship and not all of you uh finding a space where you can openly share like porn share pictures of girls from Instagram and sing rude things about them that's not male bonding that's just you finding that's just you finding excuses yeah yeah to be [ __ ] I think we both actually bonded over that also about where we were with someone some producer of some show who kept making sexist comments okay telling that someone was unfunny because they are from a particular gender something there were points where we looked at each other yeah as he was making those he was not close enough for us to confront him and tell him bro he should not do this okay he was we didn't even it was the first time we met him so I don't think we were comfortable enough to have a conversation we just want to get out of the place we spent an entire night discussing about how sexist this guy was so I think that's another reason why we became close because we had multiple topics other than content creation where you get each other very similar also also we realize that our moral compass to some degree is at the same plane so that really helps I think yeah makes sense but like you just said you can't just say it to someone because you're not close enough but I think you should you should but you know like one part of my brain says that oh you should you should stand up and call it out right there but the other part says that yeah like how doable is it I'm not I'm not justifying not yeah it was a very transactional relationship we shared with this guy but maybe like you said now while I was narrating the story I felt like I should have I think they called him out I think the Crux is that you need to find a way to say it without making the whole situation awkward yeah but still in my head no in my head my way of saying it is there was a good minute or two awkward silence while he was making it yeah there was no reaction then we're like can we just get to it whatever work we were doing and that's also in my head that was me acknowledging that bro we're not finding it funny yeah you're talking I think if you don't laugh so in my head I was like it is I'm not laughing at this no that's okay in our head no that's a great start I think like if you don't want to piss people off you don't want to be very because some people we don't we didn't mind pissing him off because he's not that close but we should have probably verbally yeah I think that's what I work on I work on ways to say things without making it sound very confrontational so that the person gets so awkward that they don't want to learn they get defensive and then they don't learn and I also feel that so much conversation about women safety this that but the onus is on men to change right and I think if you understand something is wrong and if you don't tell that to the guy the woman will not get a chance to yeah yeah so it's us who have to do it I know this all of this sounds preachy but I just thought that you know why not discuss this I think also to some degree we don't do it because we know that internally only it comes if if you're going to go through change for example in college in first year or something hey you're doing this is wrong I would be very defensive exactly and I would be like this is not but slowly through third year now you start seeing multiple but then the people you ragged you still ranked them right now but again but again someone calling you out would have been the first step to yeah yeah recognizing something wrong I might Rebel it but still there's a question even if you stop doing it out of fear that's still better than you doing it anyway yeah yeah yeah so I think it's important but I also get when people say like you just can't get up and leave from every table that you're a part of but I guess the trick is then if you can't get up and leave then find a way to tactfully tell them yeah yeah we're all working on like don't ignore it yeah but I think that really helped I think we should thank you for surfacing that I mean when you talk about male bonding and stuff um you have to address this yeah yeah because a lot of WhatsApp groups are like so shitty oh yeah the things they say are just crap yeah like they even talk about their dates in a very crass way the yeah I have an issue with that right we discussed this yeah I cannot stand it it's not DIY for me also not forget me opening up I don't want to know what happened in your date also if it's going to go in that line it gets uncomfortable it gets uncomfortable yeah Fair now let's move on to the next segment which is yeah sure kind of the last segment it's called which basically means let's do something Bros I guess I don't know so I'm gonna a lot of South Indian movies have been remade in Bollywood so I'm gonna say the Bollywood name and let's see if I can guess the original the original the OG movie okay yeah okay and you know Malayalam movies why does he look like he doesn't even want to participate no that's a poker face that is a resting [ __ ] face like you have a resting foreign don't question the question I'm sorry sir and um last yeah now we're gonna end this podcast by asking the last question which is if you were to define the modern gentleman in one word what would it be modern gentlemen in one word I think be aware aware interesting yeah be aware be aware of the privilege you have and be make sure you don't you don't take it as an advantage it's acknowledge a privilege and act to it act accordingly you know it's so important yeah yeah I think a modern gentleman is is unnecessarily gifted with a lot of privilege but of course which a woman does not get so be considerate and gentle about it that's why you're a gentleman otherwise you're just a modern man hmm yeah what about you humility no no humidity humility no because I think humility doesn't do justice to what I was trying to say I think it's just like you have to always be on the lookout to grow as a person and to just keep your mind open Seeker maybe that sounds like a Harry Potter thing but with which we're certainly playing but yeah I mean yeah it makes sense you're you're just you should be open to grow as a person and not just stick to your core rigid beliefs that's a beautiful note to end this episode on thank you so much for being here thank you so much for giving us your time it was a great conversation I've never met you guys before so it felt like we've made it my seventh time if I'm not wrong not really but thanks for uh thanks to man company you they flu us down from multiple cities for this we have never felt more special yeah or we shouldn't plug in the brand so much but this was the most organic plugin I wanted I wanted to thank you and Company yeah and thank you it was you had you made the conversation it's educational also so I think that is not we've seen in a podcast so thank you so much oh yeah great great I'm glad you guys enjoyed and I hope you all your listeners also enjoyed watching this watching and listening to this episode you have no choice you have to enjoy this and if you're only listening to this you can also watch it on YouTube on the man company's uh YouTube channel and I'll see you in the next episode till then please give us your feedback on social media at the rate the man company and now I'm tired of speaking so bye [Music],M,4480,101,5,"Nov 23, 2022"
The Man Company,The Gentleman Show | S1E11 | Sshhhexual Health | @ankushbahuguna | Dr. Prateek Makwana,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvMMM58fB2I,don't forget to like comment share subscribe and press the Bell icon so that the next time the episode comes up you get a notification we are very different and we're both men but his idea of being a man is this [Music] so it's kind of like a slap to the society what about you know the head of there [Music] idea of beauty the society you should look like this [Music] hello everyone this is ankush bhagna you have tuned in to yet another episode of the gentleman show by the man company first of all thank you so much for sticking around and showing this podcast so much love we really really appreciate it is which is why it's so important to start a conversation about men's sexual health and sexual problems and today we have our guest Dr pratik makwana Who is also a content creator pratik is good enough okay so pradik can you explain to everyone what you do well I am a consultant embryologist which means that's the easiest way to say it is bothered okay and I'm guessing that your parents are also supportive because yeah they're also doctors so they understand my love for medical field they're very happy with it because you've been observing because I've been observing growing around them because there would be so many open conversations in your household about yes Sexual Health sexual problems and I think most of us can't relate right now no because that is exactly what I feel because when I grew up went to school went to my you know degrees so when was the first time you got to know about sex foreign foreign practice are your parents listening to this podcast do you think they would be I think they would be so what is so just say sex is an uncomfortable conversation tomorrow what is an uncomfortable conversation yet I have never had an uncomfortable conversation with my parents not no no no not relationships somehow they've been very cool which is I think a blessing but they were cool about telling you about sex but they all were also as cool about say the fact that he was sexually active okay if you're born in a family of doctors that you know some conversations just probably become easier my content would only be genuine or would only I would only be able to help people if I generally believe in it because some of them will watch my content [Music] when I'm talking to them face to face so not sex positive yeah the patient will get scared then what are the kind of yeah this is for people to know if they if you visit a doctor for any of your sexual health problems what are the questions that a doctor can ask questions yeah but they're important they're important so uh how many times say you have sex in a week this is important like this is information that a doctor should know just so that information that I would want because the main goal for them is to have a baby what is it what is the frequency of your uh sexual intimacy yeah do people get uncomfortable answering it yeah in English so average calculator okay understood so like what about maybe a question what about for example gay people it's still not very talked about like uh sex between two men is not very openly talked about yes so when someone comes to you and talks about like a sexual health problem or a regular problem related to sex how comfortable they are they to admit that they've been having sex with the same gender so I will tell you what you know in these cases when they come to the hospital they've already prepared themselves because if you don't know what question you'll ask them yes so for them pregnancy is obviously not the point yeah for them the point is how do we have safe sex huh right yeah how do we uh like you know not get infected how do we make sure it's not very painful all that so um they have been planning to come to the hospital for the last six months seven months so they have a certain mental makeup okay we are ready to answer but then how do you as a doctor ensure key the comfortable answering these questions because obviously there but it's also so important to make the patient feel and this is a topic where people may not want to talk about certain things like for example how many sexual partners have you had do you have a lot of casuals except yes even if they are having sex casual sex with a lot of Partners they may not want to say they might want to say it yeah exactly so excuse me you don't ask a kitchen a partner just simple okay do you have multiple partners right so they don't have to go into the details and you get your answer okay and Asaka be aware that you felt that it's difficult to help this person because this person is very like not ready to divulge details and then what have you done so in in this in these cases you for history taking job which is what we do we take the history of the patient it's very uh tricky especially in these sensitive cases you have to ask you have to be very patient with them you don't have to be the patient yes you have to be patient with the patient Okay so I mean usually you can get out the information no maybe they need someone else like some some people in good treatment counseling do we refer them to the right person right okay you have come to us and we may not be able to help you but we know who can help you right like if someone gets an STD is it going to be an expensive Affair I'm asking my parents they would want to deal with it themselves STD is not an expensive affair because the most you will be asked to do STD is sexually transmitted diseases I mean we don't use that word we use infections now so STI Ultra care difference STD or STM because when you say diseases it becomes a little bit uh offensive to the patient so you say infections so STI STIs infection which means it's not expensive the most they'll give you they'll give an antibiotic they give you an anti-fungal different depending on what infection you have okay topical treatments medical grade creams yes so in Easy terms just tell our listeners what is a sign that you may have in STI any like generic signs someone who's sexually active and has not even thought about the fact but what are the common signs yes so I mean Common Sense pain in the genital regions TK itching severe itching sometimes there's fluid so itching could be because of sweat also it could be because of yeah but severe reaching you are itching on it okay so that is a sign that you may have some infection okay okay then you start getting uh say foul smelling you know fluids your urine when you're when you go to the washroom it's painful it's burning urine so that those signs of bacterial infections fungal infections and they could be sexual they could not be sexual yes they so they're two types and STIs symptoms but when you go when you give your history no very very unlikely unless foreign now let's talk about the stigma around this STI how how common are STIs in like say of today's generation because like I mean today's generation is probably having more sex with more Partners than the previous generations on an average I'm guessing so what how common are STIs amongst men this is a crazy statistic okay and This concerns one particular virus which is HPV human papilloma virus okay okay this is one of the major causes of cervical cancers and now around 80 to 83 percent low who are sexually active at some point have had HPV what yes yes sometimes the reaction doesn't happen otherwise dies down 8 in 10 people yes who have had sex yes would have HPV yes and this is also the only sort of cancer or risky vaccine which is because India may still for boys nine to fifteen years [Music] as hopefully they will increase the Gap because job is actually active range after 45 the advice you don't take it but 45 seconds but I still wouldn't I mean boys [Music] so that's your personal opinion as a doctor but yes obviously I mean hopefully sometime we update [Music] um so what are the other common stiske according they're more common than we think yes syphilis genital warts syphilis so when you get infections when you get when you start getting symptoms now so when you come to the hospital test only blood tests like if if you have urine urine test over your sample levels are like what boils yeah but it's a different it's a different texture than boils amongst uh sexually active people are very common yes and everybody needs to keep an eye out for the symptoms but having said that much so what do you have to say about that I mean it's very difficult to stop on Google here once you it's a rabbit hole it's a and especially if you open the images yes but images [Music] so you go to your hospital we have to simplify it to level one for people listening to this if you're sexually active foreign so here is not a lot and at least if something God forbid something happens you can nip it in the bud right then before it gets do stras go out of hand yes they can they can other if they're left unchecked they are left unchecked then they can cause a lot of problems sexual problems you know they they don't like a lot of people don't know about these little infections which can grow big like you're saying foreign okay what are the other common things that men face so they can face a situation which is called bent penis what's made the penis is 90 degrees for bent that's very painful because it's damaged okay and now by Scar Tissue so is it bent once it's erect or it's it's bent once it's erect so it gets very painful okay so that must be very painful very good very painful erection sometimes happen for no reason yes so yeah so that also you know discourages that person to get aroused so now they will go for the treatment surgery yoga but guarantee oh so that is also a situation which happens but how common is that it's not fairly common but it's not be known to happen but if you see whatever is happening to you you don't have to worry about how common yes because it's happening to you Statics yeah exactly if it's happening to you just don't feel any shame in see it's a problem and problems can be solved and sometimes they're not even problems they're just so uh you know something like would you say that erectile dysfunction or premature or ejaculation are problems that need to be solved okay that depends on what the cause is if it's due to some disease because erectile dysfunction if your heart is having a problem cardiovascular disease I won't get erect it could be a gateway to a cardiovascular problem yes yes cardiovascular problem and diabetes they represent themselves through rectile dysfunction not always but quite a lot of times so should people if someone has erectile dysfunction which basically means they can't get hard yeah is it like they can't get hard or they lose their erection very quickly so they cannot get hard or even if they get hurt it's not firm enough for a penetration okay that's erectile dysfunction and then this is depressed depression can play um I think it's yeah and there's so much conversation on how mental health can actually you know uh when you ejaculate before you want it to now um men would want to last for like uh but this is involuntary ejaculation you're just in the moment okay like it's not like you felt it coming or like but you try to control it but when it just happened he's not in your control it's not in your control is it supposed to be yeah you can control it okay okay so uh but time limit which is one minute if it's repeatedly happening under one minute either during intercourse either before intercourse does this one minute mean that the moment you start with the foreplay also yeah people have it Dutch say they can jack it okay so that is also premature ejaculation one minute is it only one minute of penetration alone or is it one it's the one minute okay it could be one to two minutes including it but you know people will like I have I have heard of people who would overcome to me and they've been like you know like but just when I'm about to enter I ejaculate so I haven't even started the Intercourse and ejaculate but the moment I'm going to yeah penetrate that moment and why does that happen so again depends on the causes okay coffee coffee bar you can try different techniques this is a start and stop method where you when you was masturbating you go to a point where about ejaculate because at that time usually you know prematurely people can control okay only it's during the app Japanese so you can go to that point stop wait for a few minutes again bring yourself to that point stop so these are some uh practicing control yes okay practicing your muscular control if muscular control right if it's due to a nervous cause they can just say Parkinson's disease you have to be treated specifically for the symptom right particular symptoms you have to be treated so tell me one thing about uh you tell them how many times do they actually go ahead with it or they just like stop coming to you after that like I told you it's other usually medications I'm pretty sure like because my friends have told me that they could not afford to let anyone in their lives know that they were taking medication for STIs see now that's their personal cause there's no issue usually I mean if you take a medicine say sometimes why are you taking medicine depends on the age yeah like I mean someone who's in college maybe so much of a personal space in their house but even even adults they don't go and talk about having STIs to their parents you just said like that antibiotics anti-fungals do not call anybody so like so then I'm guessing that if to all my listeners the graph look diagnosed with the sexual health problem or you see symptoms and you doubt it you should immediately tell your partner yes if that is very important especially with like casual sex of links you should inform them so that even if you're not planning to meet them again they should be careful yeah because otherwise it'll be a chain reaction and it's also not a nice thing to do to someone if you've known that you may have given this infection to someone just like it's also not a nice thing if you know you have that infection please don't go and have sex if someone is into casual sex and they are doubting should they immediately just stop having sex it's better I got doubt here so why risk it very well and good for your pieces people don't think about other people so much sometimes yes they're like and that's what we have to change it the test won't take a lot of time we'll take and I want to talk about how it's difficult for men to acts premature ejaculation acceptance because um so nothing can be wrong with the men right mentalities because they will look like less of a man right so you've explained it very well actually ma'am yeah makes sense they can be flawed how do they deal with how do they deal with it but then what do you want to say to them yeah see I mean now the times are changing it's important to accept you know it's important to accept that yes the problems can be both men and women they have equal incidences of problems equal incidence of sexual health issues address yes one third of cases are due to men one third of cases because women notice these are unexplained courses but it's just not happening yeah okay let's blame luck for that bad luck yeah it's bad luck but your infertility what is infertility because a lot of people are mistake erectile dysfunction for infertility a lot of people mistake um premature ejaculation for infertility per info infertility pleasure infertility is very technical yes so infertility is when you have been trying for a pregnancy for say around one year huh Excel you have tried unprotected intercourse not successful then you go for an infertility workup objective erectile dysfunction premature ejaculation can lead to infertility because it's stopping you from having sex so you're not having a baby so it can be not reaching the ovaries that is the okay but infertility that you ejaculate a lot but then you still can't yes yes which is low sperm count right could be low sperm count it could be the sperm's movement is affected motility yes motility morphology or count wow like going to school all over yeah normal sperms are enough to cause a pregnancy four percent four percent that's when we say is there has to be zero shame attached to this word like yeah I mean it's a it's a it's a medical thing it is beyond your control I'm guessing there is nothing to be ashamed of here and you should openly talk about it if not your family then at least to your doctor for sure and uh if someone is infertile it doesn't mean that they can't enjoy sex no they can't enjoy sex unless I mean unless if it's a cause of erectile dysfunction that's a different thing even then there can be other ways to enjoy sex counseling I mean see counseling multiple ways of intimacy penetration is not just the only way multiple ways of intimacy plus counseling can help whatever the treatment is you can take treatment for that it can help you get back to normal right I mean you don't have to live with erectile dysfunction it's treatable sperm count low hair but in terms of like erection and sexual performance everything is great but the sperm count is everything is great but the sperm countries so by that logic you can still enjoy sex now for the pleasure of it yeah you can you can but then in this case when it comes to infertility I think they avoid time and return keep us when they want a child so now they also treat sex as a means to get a child but that has always been the case is just that now humans are one of the few species that also have sex for pleasure and not just for procreation yes not the purpose of sex so an archiculture science multiple ways to assist you right yeah I mean if and if nothing works out there's always adoption which is a great thing great option I think it's a it's the best option because you're giving home to someone who really needs it it's a brilliant option yeah but it also comes down to what people want you know coffee Cycles you know maybe we should go for adoption so it's obviously an option it can be an option from the first step you don't even have to go through idea yeah and infertility doesn't have to Define your sex life or erectile dysfunction or whatever it doesn't Define your married life it doesn't Define your Milestones of life and it also doesn't Define your masculinity yes let's spell it out it's absolutely okay there's nothing wrong with you and um let's talk about let's talk about genital hygiene it's not talked about yeah what counts as genital hygiene what is what are the things that you should not be doing what is unhygienic can these lead to UTIs can these lead to STIs can these lead to other infections STI is the name because they are thinking Nami is actually transmitted UTI is yes now genital hygiene is important please just change your underwear every day and just use a normal soap not to not too scented your body wash could be Basics and warm water just maintain that and if you sweat a lot if you go to the workout come back it's as simple as that but do you think it's it's an issue it's an issue as a doctor do you see cases where they haven't maintained uh genital hygiene it's it's an issue and it's so so common Matlab it should clean your genital regions tell us the most ridiculous masturbation myths Ridiculousness blindness what yes if you masturbate you'll go blind a dad is talking to his child okay now if you masturbate you'll go blind child is sitting on the sofa dad is looking at a wall okay yeah I'm sure the coffee Club recently which I addressed on my story it does swallowing semen cause pregnancy is it's a sham it started as a way to you know counter Pawn addiction but Logan airport and it started as a moment against masturbation so is it the same as key self pleasure should not be there like I mean in this case it's the same thing yeah okay you don't pleasure yourself your sperms this is a thing which I've heard it's very prevalent okay you will hear it someday on YouTube only okay if you don't Master it no your sperms will go through your body to your brain and it will get you increased focus and increased stamina and this happened this new podcast okay so uh you can masturbate as many times as you want unless it's interfering with your daily life so addiction masturbation addiction it's just that you are masturbating it is you're only thinking about masturbation that's something that you need to then reduce the frequency or work on because that is obviously every interfere with your life and your productivity right other you are going wrong but otherwise what do you have to say about men who think that it's because it's more pleasurable it's a it's a very rampant thing amongst men it's it's all in the head but using condom or not using condom will not affect your Sensations or plus essay condoms which give you like a sort of a real feel you know it's not exactly uh latex condoms um so you'll get a different feel so yeah this also stems from the fact that all the issues that we talked about talk about about sexual health and all they're like women's sex sexual health issues are talked about and Men sometimes don't want to take the responsibility you know harmful Healthcare but they still expect the woman to do it and I think also because men don't think that unprotected sex that is a very good point because you know emergency contraception that pill is filled with hormones and it's emergency yes it's for emergency which should not happen every week every month every two months every three months huh so you use a condom save all that and also like unprotected sex is also dangerous for men it's not like only women it is dangerous what what can happen with unprotected sex the only way to prevent an STI transmission is using a condom koi pill koi method of contraception only a condom can prevent pregnancy STI so contraception from unwanted pregnancies so I think this has to be one learning from this podcast for all the young men all men listening to this right now it's like just sex can be enjoyable and very pleasurable even when it's safe so yeah do you do you have to say anything on like a um I think there's only one thing that I would like to say to all the men who say condoms safe sex is the greatest sex you can have um interesting okay cool you heard it from right from you know the horse's mouth and uh now we have our next segment which is called where I want you to give sex tips okay I'm laughing but it's it's gonna be useful for people here just tell people some things that they can follow in sex which will make sex better so there are three tips that I'll give three tips which can probably lead to many more tips first is communication second is consent so it is quantum a five marker questions you've given one marker answer these are these are the three C's of six oh three C's of sex okay now we're talking like a Content create a text what are they communicate with your partner okay you can explore a lot more if a lot more ways you know of having an intimate relationship with a partner if you just talk right what sorry boundaries you can explore huh your partner will also be safe no one wanted pregnancies right no infections and consent yes that's great advice yeah thank you so much for saying that and now this has brought me to the last question of this podcast Define the modern gentleman in one word okay one word I would say aware oh okay explain Karo because like people are open to accepting men can be infertile men can have sexual health issues are now you know like happening invincible so now they're becoming more aware not just of their own sexuality of other people's sexuality as well so that that is one thing which I think has improved both Improvement or at least but thank you so much uh for doing this prateek this was a very fun conversation and I think uh you by coming on this podcast and talking about all of this have normalized all of these things for so many men out there to a certain extent and you're also doing that with your content so thank you so much for that uh it was great having you on this podcast this is me ankush bahuguna signing off from the gentleman show by the man company until I see you in the next episode and remember to always have safe sex bye foreign,M,2644,85,1,"Oct 28, 2022"
The Man Company,TheGentlemanShow | Emotional Atyachaar | S1E10 @Jeeveshu #DivijaBhasin @ankushbahuguna,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8ERqnNcI_0,don't forget to like comment share subscribe and press the Bell icon so that the next time the episode comes up you get a notification we are very different and we're both men but his idea of being a man is this [Music] so it's kind of like a slap to the society what about you know the head of there [Music] idea of beauty the society you should look like this [Music] hello everyone this is ankush bahugna and you have tuned in to yet another episode of the gentleman show by the man company jaha preham how to suspects episode um it could just be an emotional roller coaster um because today we're going to talk about mental health emotional breakdowns and grief and yeah so I want you all to make yourself some coffee sit in a Cozy Corner get comfortable because and today we have with us two very special guests stand-up comedian and psychologist hi thank you Rose hi hi okay so let's get started yes sir okay so situation but are you are you are you nervous about talking about it or no I stopped giving the first rule of mental health is put yourself first prioritize yourself any prioritize I don't care about anybody else I think we've started with a great lesson yeah that makes a lot of sense and a lot of people like this is what therapy also teaches you right that you your mental health is a very important aspect and you need to give it as much importance as you can and um let's start from the basics yeah so I think a lot of people don't know the difference so this I'm really glad you asked this question a psychologist does therapy though if you want therapy go to a psychologist and they can also diagnose you a clinical psychologist to be precise and a psychiatrist gives medicine so usually they don't do therapy so if you go to a psychiatrist and expect them to not give you medicine that's not going to happen okay so then how do you decide psychologists so if you think you have a disorder then you can go to a clinical psychologist or a psychiatrist clinical psychologist will give you therapy and diagnose you and a psychiatrist will give you medicine so if you are someone who can't really afford therapy and would you don't think you have the capacity to go through to it like the whole deep issues and also pay for it then I would suggest in India go to a psychiatrist because it'll give you a quick fix I mean it will is there is there a quick fix for mental health no not really but then for a lot of people medicine is necessary because right they have no option like therapy also doesn't work and maybe they can't afford it accessibility is a big issue here right exactly so it can help yeah so um and then the psychologist tells you whether you need to go to a psychiatrist or not that's that's what that's what I would suggest because medicine isn't for everyone you don't always need medicine and a Clinical Psychology if you if they think you need a psychiatrist right and uh coming to you have you ever seek therapy yep you have yeah okay and what was the experience like can you tell us a lot actually uh see mental health does not have a physical attribute largely or it's not a broken bone you're not bleeding so it is very hard to see something and not take it seriously in India a lot of times going to Theory means your power and it is looked down upon especially when you want to seek help and you can't and you don't have a I have an answer around what you want to do who do you go to how to get help um is when therapy is needed uh why did I go to therapy because I was going through a phase in my life that I had no reasoning that I could put across in the way I was feeling about my life in general which can be suicidal which can be absolutely not able to get out of your bed now issue with therapy or especially with mental health is that since it doesn't have a physical symptom to it you're not bleeding there is no broken bone people don't see how impactful it is for a person in their mind and um it is tough to get out of bed it is tough to even connect to somebody you can be in the middle of the absolute busy market and feel absolutely lonesome um you see Darkness around and that thing is so underrated and so unrevolved in India and I'm just talking about India because I am a citizen of India so I wouldn't know about any other country would be very wrong for me to comment on that if that is when I was suggested I need to go seek therapy and people like divija mentioned she's a psychologist they're a clinical psychologist as well um they get trained to understand in a nutshell how do I put it they train they trained they educate and then practiced enough to understand a deeper meaning behind a thought process which is pulling you down because when we're happy with so that is what a clinical psychologist or a psychologist or a therapist will do for you and then accordingly you take further steps of either talking about it and seeking medical help like she said going to psychiatrist you know can be anything mood stabilizers there are a lot of things such a varied concept right um you take medicine if you if you're prescribed for medicines and you do activities when they tell you how to disconnect how to connect the right things you know million things therapy is not it's like different stocks for different folks so that's what led me to it and I've never been happier or I've never been more thankful about the things in life that I should have known earlier yeah I mean I mean I used to stand on the rooftop of my house and look down and it's like if I jump today I'll end it and that is what I wanted to do and that's a thought which crosses to I think everybody's mind at least once in their life yeah I mean I'm I'm pretty sure that a lot of our listeners would also you know some of them could I hope nobody relates to ever relates to this but I'm sure that mental health and you know these are things that we bottle up inside us like a lot of people feel these things you know like what if I die today what if you know what is the reason of my existence you know nothing is going right in my life even though to an outsider it might seem like your life is perfect you know like for example you you're perceived as a funny guy correct they're always questions right you look a certain way like the vision looks the way she looks the way you look up healthy huh and that's what I keep telling them it is not about what you're looking at it is about how they are not looking at the same thing and how they're feeling exactly so I can give you a compliment like for example somebody is going through BPD which is borderline personality disorder if I tell divija I'm just taking an example not trying to pull you down if it tells you that they would look really nice today a normal human being will say thank you very much and take it as a compliment a person with BPD probably will understand oh I do not look good in any other thing but this but I was not looking good yesterday oh it is a very different tangent of you accepting knowing acknowledging things so let therapists like psychologists do their bit we can't be doing this at home they are trained for it right makes sense so if if you want to talk about it sure absolutely no pressure but I just feel the more we talk about our personal experiences the more it will normalize things for people true so then what what was it in your life what was that phase in your life and you felt like um there was no reason to live four five years ago I think uh what was the reason for it is what I couldn't figure out I drive a very big car iced in a very big palatial house I have a good healthy bank balance [Music] um I have a beautiful mother at home I have two dogs you know the idol scenario you have a younger brother who's married he's got kids um I was dating this woman back then who I got married to eventually oh um I couldn't figure out I would cry for no reason um I would stare for no reason I just couldn't figure out and a lot of people think for example a kid with ADHD is a lot of these basic values interesting values of a lot of people we don't understand I'll give you an example when before tari zameen par came as a movie we had no idea what autism was dyslexia or dyslexia sorry we had no idea what dyslexia was yeah tables no other reason but to cope and you know build trauma inside probably yeah probably um so I for me I had no idea what was the reason right so I couldn't talk to a lot of people because I know they won't understand that is the part I know so then I I get it but I'm asking like any other person who doesn't understand mental health very correctly would correct so if everything was going fine then why did you why did you have these thoughts that you didn't want to live anymore because in when I went to therapy they told me what was the deeper meaning it can be anything it can be uh impact of me losing my father when I was four but that defense mechanism a lot of kids get molested as kids male or female right of course they shut their part that that part down so they have a massive insecurity with physical intimacy now when they grow up and uh they are they are with their partners and they're still not being able to be very comfortable physically physically intimate part they do not know what is wrong and the partner doesn't know it either so that is when people like divija or a clinical psychologist or a counselor or a therapist or psychiatrist is where they come into play so our problem in case you also we try to portray everything at home our home becomes self-proclaimed doctors which is good but for mental health they can't do it they'll be like is um who don't even drink they don't have they don't have drugs what do you think everybody you know this one friend told me you know this is happening because sometimes and she was like you know like I can't fall asleep I just can't but you realize it is not that family's fault also they don't know any better of course my mother is a beard double m a beard I can't imagine her to be a psychologist so she studied for the division I studied for yeah my mother hasn't of course so she tries to support me whenever I cry she's like you roller what do I tell her I do not know why am I crying yeah and where does the conversation start and for that generation it is so hard to process key is yeah it's such a new thing for like even a lot of us here like generations for example I'll be 45 this year I come from a generation where there was no cell phone there was no internet and considering what I do right now I'm always on the net and I have the state-of-the-art phone instead of the art laptop the good part is or the bad part is that the older generation wasn't that old is that I can absolutely disconnect with current generation and not connect with them but rather connect with the old people because the basic theory of for example sleeping on time or getting up on time for mental health people who are going through this it is very hard for them to sleep so if they come into routine this is a routine so if you come into a routine it helps you actually we don't listen to them we don't yes that's the struggle that they can't get into that routine that stuff actually that's the symptom it's not the reason people see it as the reason for our problems exactly like I mean some people when they have mental health problems some of them just can't sleep in some of them sleep a lot they want to stay in this because they can't get out of the bed they can't get out of the bed yeah like for example when um when I went through anxiety a major major uh panic attack which you know I don't know if it was the same panic attack that lasted for days but like there was there were days at stretch where I would just be in like hell and I couldn't sleep true and Lucifer had spoken to someone who told me that you know like I mean I like I've been diagnosed with depression and I just keep sleeping and I binge eat a lot I've started eating a lot I keep sleeping I avoid meeting friends I don't want to step out I can't even work it's not like my time here correct so every aspect of a family will disconnect so for example when you're sleeping more people will come here I'll see it when you're eating when you're not meeting your friends there's always a term which fixes to you and then you start living to that term got a little defensive you what else do you do that's your comfort zone right but in in your in your experience was there like a personal incident that triggered it or you still don't know why that suddenly happened in your life so I was happy to recover out of it I just didn't want to even portray further as to what caused it because I had no idea okay um had I had an idea I probably would have avoided it right so so uh division you tell me uh logo suddenly episodes for example the foreign depression or anxiety or so many other things yeah so is it always caused by an incident in your life it can just come to you anytime caused by many factors it's not like we can really go through many minor things every day like people will maybe body shame me and my family growing up and then something will happen and then my friend will fall out with me and then I'll have a breakup all of those things come together so we actually need to notice our day-to-day life and not just focus on the day we got depression like mental health is not just pathological in the sense just clinical disorders it's all of us we all go through good days and bad days so I think we need to focus on the bad days and see where they're taking us like are we sitting and blaming ourselves for every single thing because that is one thing that actually contributes a lot to depression like the way you talk to yourself that is one of the things so it doesn't matter what's happening to you you will anyway talk about yourself in a bad way even if something good like he mentioned uh if somebody has borderline personality disorder even if they don't have the disorder there's many people who have low self-esteem so if somebody if I have low self-esteem and somebody's like oh you're looking good you're talking well I'll be like no that's not true they're lying they're doing that to make me feel good see you know every time someone gives me a compliment yeah um I'm like yeah okay I don't believe you yeah exactly I don't believe you yeah and then people uh you know sometimes people will say and I'm like you know I can mask it in humor I can be very like funny about it or whatever but I know that when people tell me I'm like why are people telling me things that are not true yeah I just don't believe you true so yeah so these things are so relatable for so many people but just the fact that they're not addressed enough they keep it to themselves yeah that you don't tell people this year people are just is it pity is it a compliment or is it a pity compliment it's because people don't take it that seriously like you yourself like you wouldn't see this as the biggest problem in your life or something right so you'll just see it as a small thing but then it will keep building up yeah if you don't notice the pattern yeah like for example that I have low self-esteem issues I started noticing yeah aspect of my life I will constantly doubt myself even if people tell me I'll seek validation but when I get the validation I won't believe it you know what I mean correct so it is foreign that is also coming from the fact that people don't know what depression is Right sadness and depression are on a spectrum to be honest at least that's how I see it a disorder becomes a disorder when it's out of your control completely everyone goes through those feelings like anxiety everyone goes through anxiety it's not a disorder unless and until you reach that part where it's like Gad generalized anxiety disorders but panic attacks that's the thing the mental health like I said is like an everyday thing we think it's only about disorders and extremes it's not like that it builds into that mental health some degree so everybody faces a lot of these things now they may not become disorders you know you have uh like she said you you feel anxious at times but that may not mean that you have generalized what do you what do you have to say about this I think she's put it very nicely the moment it becomes a disorder is when it is out of your hand that is the best way to put it we all go through it and coming in and out of depression if you're doing you're just being ignored and how she said you have no idea what depression is then do we get sad yes I get sad looking at anybody who's begging outside right now in this sweltering heat yeah I feel bad I feel bad when a kid is begging I feel bad when people are physically disabled I feel bad when somebody is inhuman to animals I feel bad about a lot of things I am not getting into depression at that point and I'm not coming out of it either that fast so like she said it is either you tribalize it you glamorize it you romanticize it romanticize you have no idea what it is right now you and probably it is an onset of you getting into depression probably but that is where people like her people who are pro-trained professionals are needed it is okay to seek help is what we need to understand and we don't take it is excellent so um and if you can afford therapy just go for it you can't you can't because that's also the thing so even right now when we're talking about it we're only seeing it in terms of depression anxiety like disorders kind of you can actually have it out of your control and not have a disorder like even people who don't have disorders have it out of control and they need help sometimes yeah not just need you know you should just go to therapy generally like a doctor like you go to a doctor for your well-being mental health is not just these negative things it's also well-being like feeling good feeling happy that is also mental health you know when I went to therapy um for my anxiety uh my therapist told me that I have something called anticipatory anxiety it ruins everything in my day things so much I can't I can't keep up with the day-to-day life because of it and I sometimes some some minor things trigger it like chaos triggers it so much so for example my therapist told me that you get hassled you get hassled very easily so you have to avoid chaotic situations so like my mother has this habit she'll ask you 100 questions so like I've grown up in that environment so my day starts like that that's when my day just you know eight episode in the morning will give me anxiety for the whole day it is started on that note so then my other therapist told me that this is probably maybe your trigger point that you know too many people talking to you at the same time is you know will make you chaotic recognize I started uh just say Indian families I had to introduce it I like I shut my door and sometimes it takes me a while to get up even now even in general I don't want to interact with someone till the time I'm okay so that's something that I learned in therapy and I'm not going to therapy right now because I don't feel the need for it but this has stayed with me and this is something that I apply in my real life that I just want to exit chaotic situations or I want to simplify chaotic situations before panicking true so this is what therapy does right yeah you're making boundaries actually with your family when you're doing this this is a healthy thing like actually people when they go through this they just yell at their mother or like they had to have a huge fight with their parents that's what happens normally right people who don't go to therapists they don't know that they can actually make these boundaries without fighting you have to be calm you have to do it again and again for them to understand yeah that's called murdering your parents I've never told them so um yeah this is the first time I'm you know they will know if they listen to this my my sisters knew but uh I couldn't tell them because I knew that they may not understand and I didn't want the pressure to explain it to people when I was going through it myself I was like enough awareness and you know I'm independent enough to take care of the you know money aspect of it I could afford it so I went for it correct and then I was like let's keep myself first and that's what my therapist told me that you have to do what makes you feel better right now true so yeah um foreign [Music] foreign hospitals on the outskirts of Delhi and these people who have major disorders they're just there nobody knows about them their families is mostly abandon them because they don't understand what they're going through and they're just there I saw that in my internships and I was like wow I've studied psychology and I didn't know that this is true there are big hospitals like he mentioned but there are also smaller clinics and hospitals and they're just like these homes where people are there and they're just getting taken care of but they don't really have a proper life if you think about it their family doesn't care or they don't know what to do also it's not their fault do you think um like this is this is heartbreaking to hear to be honest um because I think this is alienation who can't help it at like you know they can't help it and they've been put in a place where they can't live life like others it's it's heartbreaking but do you think the more awareness there is about these things the better it will be for people like them of course I mean if you know more then you will actually take them to the doctor before it gets too you can actually tell when somebody is going through something even in their young adulthood so you don't have to wait at least then people will know and then if people know then there will be more professionals right now there's very less psychologists and honestly even the psychologists that are there not all of them are good I have seen really bad psychologists also okay so the more we know there will be more educational institutions the training will get better that's what awareness is needed foreign yeah even my psychologist was a woman and most of my friends who went to cycle mostly I think all yeah they were women yes is there I don't know like I'll tell you why there's like two reasons one is that um first of all there's this notion that men don't understand emotions I mean we all know the stereotype yes that's why we're here discussing this yeah thanks for validating the topic yeah like this is actually true because I was hiring a psychologist for my team and I want to include male psychologists also and I tweeted um would you what would you prefer or what gender of a therapist would you prefer everyone wrote women for some reason they were like I think it'll be easier for me to open up they don't realize that it's actually a gender bias like who said that men can't understand your emotions there are plenty of good male therapists not in India I think for women there may be a layer of safety maybe there may be like that underlying layer yeah they'll feel safer with like opening up to a woman and being vulnerable to a woman than being that is understandable in those cases specific perfectly to like sexual abuse but even men wrote that they prefer a woman like men find it very hard to open up to other men no yeah so now let's let's also touch upon if we talk about mental health we can't do that without touching upon grief which is such an important part about everyone's life we've all lost loved ones um the first example that I can go back to was that um when my grandmother passed away I could see a difference between um I could see a pattern amongst the men and how they were dealing with grief they were all trying to put a brave front because you know men are supposed to do things at a funeral and it's it's heartbreaking like you know Hindu Customs when someone passes away and there are certain things that you have to do um that like would uh shake up any any human being and I've still seen the male Elders in my house put up such a big front like they you could see that they're you know bursting with tears but they would not cry openly cool so let's talk about how men deal with grief it's not just Men actually grief is very complex everyone deals with a differently and there's no right or wrong so I wouldn't really say them not processing in the moment is wrong they have to do it in that moment because the Customs are like that if they don't do that then people will shame them that is why they're doing it again that is not I'm not going to say that that's unhealthy or healthy because you can't expect someone to start coping on the spot right everybody takes some people take years to deal with grief and that's normal it's very common so on top of that grief is like quite stigmatized in a society people are expected after a set number of days they're expected to go back to work and like that's normal and if they don't do that people are like this person is very affected so they're seen in such a way that like if somebody Grieves for many years people will be like why are they grieving for so many years it's been so long so there is a lot of stigma about grief it's not just a gender thing also just grief in general right and I've only realized different ways can you know come at you at some unexpected moments and I'm still realizing it because I faced like a huge loss in my family I lost a family member last year and I think I spoke about it immediately um I spoke about the fact that I lost my sister and no it's okay it's okay I talked about it at a very early stage and that time I I felt obviously devastated but then it is after a month where it really hit me and this time I was hyper productive I was like I was working I just dived into work I was like okay this has happened in my family there is no way I can deal with this and okay it's happened now what and I just didn't want to face it so I just dived into work and for one whole month I just kept working working and then I remember it would just come back to me and you know you sometimes feel that and sometimes I would also during that one month I was also feeling guilty why am I not as sad as people are supposed to be like why is it not affecting me and then I was like yeah I am sad but I'm not like crying my eyes out every night but then one month later I was actually crying my eyes out every night yeah so I just realized it's so complex and that's when I realized here I don't know if I'm equipped to handle this grief anymore and it still comes back to me in random moments that's what grieving is it's it's forever you grieve forever it's just that it changes the way it shows up like in the beginning and some people might cry some people might not cry maybe some people will cry every few months that grieving never stops it's just it's a process it's not like a symptom or something yeah because now now that I think about it I've I've realized that I'm changing as a person because of that grief the way I look at things has changed and sometimes sometimes it's happening in the background and sometimes I'm really disturbed by it how is it still changing me after like almost a year because you wanted to and as in so for example my father passed away when I was four I'm sorry I'm 44. 40 years yeah there are days when I miss him and I cry about it honestly I don't remember the guy's face I was four it's very hard to recollect any memory from there so I look at this picture I create a story I create a Persona I put his face in that's how I create my figment of imagination so there are days when I feel bad about him not being there there are days I consciously think of things that could have been better if he was around there are days when I wonder how things would have been if he was around imagine even after 40 years 40 years exactly at four I couldn't grieve at 10 I didn't know what grieving was and what happens in Indian families the Elder male child suddenly becomes a man of the house the day your father passes away so I became the man of the house when I was four I started running right after 12th I'll be 45 this year I don't remember when I was 18. and I was not born 45. am I happy in my current situation yes there are times when I wonder about my mother how her life would have been different if my father was alive uh I'm married with this lovely woman right now karva chauth comes in we sit in a park where all those ritual Customs go through and I see a lot of older women who would be my other mother's age and I remember one day she was telling me a couple of years ago that when I was young I used to ask her why don't you go to that ceremony because I had no idea right no it is not wrong what I feel bad is now she doesn't remember my father's death anniversary but I've never forgotten her his death anniversary 6th of December invariably I will know six December his father's my father's death anniversary she started forgetting and I don't blame her I think she is now overcoming that grief at this stage now and I think that is what David I was trying to say would you agree forever yes you do grieve forever yes you do um my dog passed away five six years ago every day every day my dog also passed away a few months ago and I think I've just been grieving a lot I grieve every day I have a dog and this is the biggest fear in my life right I think nobody talks about how pet loss really affects you I feel like yeah you you always think yeah it's just like a pet it's just a dog but it's not family yeah it's family we agree forever just get answering out whatever she was saying but then after such a big loss I have considered I've generally considered therapy and I actually may go for it because if it's time I'm realizing that it is you know it is changing me as a person and um it seems like in a healthy way but I'm not sure I'm not too sure if it's changing me in a healthy way because it's changed the way I look at things like sometimes I genuinely feel that I can you know like hear voices I genuinely and not like physically but I can I can tell I can tell that uh you can hear voices I mean like sitting at home like randomly no not like physically here voices but I can I can hear like I sometimes find myself having conversations with my sister oh yeah yeah like that fantasy Dreams yeah like I mean and I can't like hear the voice but I can feel it hallucination you are talking about fantasy of talking to her I can feel it I can I can feel her presence I don't know it's what I how to define it yeah but it's also I think um another thing I want to talk about grief is that have you ever felt that you will uh come at a point where you will lose the memories also because I sometimes feel that I want to hold on to the grief also I brought this topic up because there are so many people who had such terrible losses because the last two years yeah you know and you know these so many families have suffered so it's something which is so heartbreaking but it's so common right now correct so I don't know if anybody listening to this relates with this but I have this constant fear that I will if I let go of this grief if I allow myself to get over it I'll also lose the memories because as you as you grow older as years pass you forget things yeah you do and right now I try every day to remember a new memory of her yeah so the question is why are you doing that because I feel that that's I don't want to let go I think you think that um maybe you're not a good brother if you let go you won't be the right brother yeah yeah because yeah this is an unrealistic expectation from yourself a human being will forget it doesn't make you less of a brother emotionally because you're not a bad person for moving on that is actually what Society wants you to move on right so it's not a bad thing yeah yeah and so I just had to do it we're a big a big guy talk to everyone who's uh suffered any loss um in life which a lot of people have in the recent past yeah and um on that positive and upcoming note what is the next question the next question I'm checking like I'm just thinking where to drive this conversation because you know grief is also not just about people you've physically lost but people you've also lost from your life there are people I want to lose in my life can we grave over there people agree toxic relationships as well like you don't want to be in that relationship like family members partner whatever but you you don't want to be with them but you also have lost them so you need to understand that just because your grieving doesn't mean that you want them back it just means you're grieving that relationship so this is also complicated yeah and uh division tell me how can therapy help people grieving because the thing is that in in covid such unexpected you know uh deaths have happened people have passed away who didn't have any um you know it was not expected family members did not see it coming and it was a shock yeah so I'm pretty sure a lot of them it may be a good option for them to go to therapy so can you tell us about how therapy can help you so you're talking about grief counseling that's like a specific type of thing and in that um I think the main thing we would do is to reduce the shame and guilt and the complex feelings that you have like for example I have had clients like the toxic relationship example they did not want to be in the relationship and then that person passed away so there you're like I'm glad he's gone but I also feel bad so we help them process that and clarify those thoughts that what you're feeling is not wrong you're not a horrible person for missing them it's not that you want to be hurt on purpose it's just that it's like that so there's so much taboo and stigma first the first thing we need to do is remove that shame guilt some people feel guilty they're like why did I not do enough maybe I should have done this all these regrets there's no I also have them I also have them so grief is not just that feeling of missing them right it's also shame guilt regret all of these things people blame themselves people blame the person some people are angry at the person like why did they leave so there's so many things that happen so we help with those things and help them understand why so yeah I mean thanks for telling us that because uh I'm actually considering I didn't know that it's called grief counseling I just thought it's it's the same as therapy but it's good to know that it's it's a whole new uh Department it's not a department but it's a lot of people who specialize in it like most people most therapists can do it okay because itself these are the best that's that's their idea of uh that's their prescription okay so this brings me to our next segment which is called oh god um yeah so tell us three things you wish someone had told you before uh that I'm worth it um it is okay to make mistakes important and uh thought that probably I'm loved that's it what about you division [Music] that everyone actually has flaws nobody is perfect even though it seems like they have it put together every goes through anxiety at some point it's not just me and just taking compliment for no reason yeah and people make um look at me and criticize me but then that doesn't change who I am like if I am someone and they think I'm something else that doesn't make me that something else that is another thing that you wish someone told you yeah okay and the third thing is that uh I think it's good to be open-minded and keep changing don't try to just stay the same forever I think when people have birthdays we're like happy birthday stay the same I love you so I feel like you shouldn't stay the same you should keep changing so I used to think that I will always be this shy awkward girl my username is awkward good for the same time that's why it's awkward yeah okay I was really awkward but um and I had made it my entire personality not made it but also made it yeah so now now I've realized that I can keep changing I don't you realize that you're not awkward you're just a good no I am still quite awkward like inside I'm very awkward right now How To Lose Friends thank you so much for that um I'm gonna uh this we're inching to the close uh sorry okay so we're at the end of this episode uh my last question is how would you define the modern gentleman in just one word Jewish that's a beautiful word silence uh tell us a person who is flexible not not sure not yoga is it one word one word oh flexible flexible in thinking and yoga sure but in thinking yeah okay one word well useless the modern gentleman is useless I'm part of it please okay please uh explain one marker questions well thank you so much for being here and giving this your time um this is a very interesting conversation did you have a good time yeah I think we talked about substantial stuff what about you oh yeah I had a rocking time I wouldn't have missed it for the world I love it I want to thank my mother I get the hint okay cool cool okay I'm not doing this all right this was ankush from the gentleman show by the man company I'm signing off I'll see you in the next episode and give us your feedback on social media at the rate ankush bhagana the man company on her episode bye [Music],M,809,30,3,"Oct 10, 2022"
The Man Company,The Gentleman Show | S1E8 | Makeup is for Everyone | Aman Bhatia | BettaNaanStop |,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWq7a7ABIso,don't forget to like comment share subscribe and press the bell icon so that the next time the episode comes up you get a notification we are very different and we're both men but his idea of being a man is this so what [Music] so it's kind of like a slab to the society but what about you know the head of their [Music] idea of beauty the society you should look like this [Music] hello this is ankush bahuguna and you're listening to me on the gentleman show by the man company we discuss the modern gentleman or harvo aspect to hamari likes wearing makeup there are still a lot more nuances that we all need to understand we have with us better non-stop which is who is one of india's finest drag queens hello hello uncle hi how are you i'm great how are you thank you for having me here it's our pleasure and i'm really looking forward to this conversation me too and then we have aman bhatia who is an ace makeup content creator and i just found out also makeup artist hi aman hi ankush how are you i am good i am looking forward to this so am i uh let's start from the beginning uh better so tell us tell our listeners what you do who drag queens really are when did you start what happened the journey so i am a drag queen as ankush introduced me as and a drag artist is essentially someone who's creating a exaggerated character for stage or for video or for a podcast um uh yeah so basically it's you base uh expressing your wildest and most craziest imaginative creature that you've always had in your head oh so it could be a creature also it can be a creature it doesn't have to be gender specific it can it can be an alien it can be a tree it can be an animalistic sort of a thing okay there's a lot like drag is huge it's it's not just women impersonation it's not just men dressing up as women okay it's uh it's anyone anyone belonging to any gender any identity creating something creating a tool to express themselves which they might not which they feel they might not be able to do out of drag oh all right so basically if i unders understand this correctly upload dress up curtis something and that also includes like makeup is a big part of it and then you get on stage and then you perform for people yeah it's like it's an art form it's an art form right as as in like basic simple terms it's an art form like there's theater there's it is it is a theater hater has had drag since like if you want to go to the history where women were not allowed to step out of the house and work there were men essentially who were playing all these right i think drag came into my life uh it was there in my life for a very long time because i would always like sneak in when nobody's home and dress up get into my sister's closet and so that was my week that was my first week but i obviously i was a little kid and i did not know that is drag and what am i doing it was for me it was just fun i would play all those cheesies 90s uh bollywood songs and play and dance up in the living room everything like recently have you performed some pia pia gear from uh and everyone's like everyone major throwback major throwback right so i was always also full circle moment i have my stage live audience pick around so uh yeah to drag the times but i got to know drag drag through rupaul's drag race the show the show the reality show american reality show uh usmed drag queens they come every season they perform they compete with each other for america's next drag superstar and they make their own costumes they make their own costumes yeah they set up their own hair i also do that not just them of course of course but like there's so much talent oh yeah that i mean i i saw one episode of the show and i was like wow are these people doing this all by themselves that's crazy that's the best part i think because it's also related to freedom right like i said expression true but i can be a good guest lecturer also okay to all the teachers and people who are handling the education system listening you have better non-stop here so aman what what do you love about makeup and you know how did you so you started as a makeup artist i started as an engineer oh wow okay okay let's go back one more step yeah yeah as an engineer yeah i did my btec right and then i realized i need to do something like you know i enjoy using makeup so let's just do it on others so usability you were doing makeup on yourself or you were not doing that i used to do makeup i have been wearing makeup since i was 13. oh but it upgraded as i grew so you learned more yeah i learned more and more and then i thought let's just learn it professionally because i used to get on instagram i used to get a lot of dms do you do makeup and i thought okay i can make a lot of money from this and why not it's an avenue for you yeah so i uh worked i did my like i did my b tech and i did the job related to b-tech for one year i saved up my money and then i did course like a makeup course and after that i became a makeup artist i started working for a brand also i worked with them for a new year and and then you decided your content creation because no it was covered i had nothing to do i was getting my account my so so i thought okay let's sit in front of the camera and do makeup i uploaded my first video and then i got like amazing response yeah and slowly and after three months like i was approached by cosmopolitan for an article and then i started doing that that's pretty cool and i think all three of us would agree make up like love for makeup or ekote also love for the camera yeah you know there's love for performing they're two different things i know a lot of people didn't make up cannot select there but they don't necessarily want to be on camera wearing makeup but was that that transition from like a makeup artist someone who works behind the scenes to be the face of your content was that no it never happened actually to be honest when i used to work with brands also people like when we work with the brand you have a lot of clients coming up to you they're always used to telling me oh my god you have amazing lips you should have you taken your fillers or something so every time i used to like maybe i'm too pretty maybe i'm too pretty you are you are okay maybe the world needs to say yep they don't know and then i sat in front of the camera and like i said the first response was the only thing that changed my mind no i can do this okay and was the family supported yeah yeah definitely oh great yeah tell us more about that like how how did your family come to terms with the the fact that you know my uh parents actually they asked me to do one thing once i completed my video they wanted me to work to see how it is to do job nine to five learn the lesson of punctuality and whatever the normal parents think and after that they were like okay now you have done whatever you wanted to learn and i think you are ready for your journey now so go ahead and do whatever you need that's that's pretty cool no yeah and that is really amazing i think parents need to give their children and i think i feel lucky that way uh yeah i mean of course but i i really wish for the first time i wish parents a podcast and you know if parents would definitely listen this like each and every thing even the content that i upload my heart is like you have too much color on your cheeks just reduce it you need to do this eye makeup my mom comes and everybody is like that's everybody is a makeup artist no like they need to give me some of the other idea every time even when i'm uh go live on instagram my dad comes he feeds me he's like eye makeup looks you need to reduce it okay i do this do that and i like everybody is asking me who's there who is there behind the camera i was like my dad it's it's hard for i'm sure it's heartwarming for so many people out there listening to this right now who crave that support from family it's a message for them that you know you never know your family might just be more accepting than you think they could be right yeah and i and i feel this podcast you know a similar story but you know engineering we just took on our own journey but nobody has talked about makeup like this so i feel that this is sending out another message that this could also be a a career avenue for people now right i think makeup is all about being yourself makeup is not about you know it's meant for women they are only supposed to use it's just it should be used to make you look good no makeup can be used by anybody it's like very close right you you like yeah i mean to all the men i keep saying this key you like putting on a biker jacket and you feel cool about it sometimes i will drag by the way if that person is wearing a biker jacket for a bike ride that is drag wow surprise yeah surprise person wearing a coat and tie for his corporate job that is drag like rupaul says you were all born naked and the rest is drag so basically like are you dressing up for the podcast that's also dry oh this is uh this is a an eye-opening moment for like literally everyone i think right now so thanks for saying that okay let's address the elephant in the room now i know that there has been a lot of conversation about you know men normalizing makeup and you know breaking stereotypes and this and that and like i have also been told oh you are breaking stereotypes by doing this this that and then i spoke to a lot of my friends from the lgbtqia plus community and they made me understand that you know easily accepted support the truth is that so many people have been doing this before me and the difference between them and me is my gender identity privilege gender my ex is gender manhole it's and explain that why is it easier for me so because we live in a heteronormative society and because your cisgender the the privilege that you mentioned that comes with it so if it wasn't easy for you also nobody's nobody's diminishing your struggle uh you know nobody's invalidating the hate right exactly but it is a big achievement like photo eyeliner pig magazine piano that is also a big thing for a country like india right but conversation with he and uh it's a little easier for someone like you yeah or maybe maybe even for me like maybe out of drag says who i'm okay make with another bullying willingness like until unless i'm like you're dressed up and dressed up fully dressed about wearing even like slightest bit of makeup or but like i was like we were just discussing we would also love if the same support was extended to people who are from the lgbtqia plus community so many non-binary people so many trans people so many so many queer people who do makeup but just because of their identity uncover same support name have you faced this in person uh yeah just karaoke uh you know you see so many different faces this is definitely refreshing drag performances i've seen it i've seen i've seen i've seen you and drag before i've seen sushant interact before yeah so for me i i had that image in mind right so when i started doing makeup i know that my journey started much after so many other people so subconsciously yes i was inspired by so many queer icons yeah right and i'm inspired i'm def getting inspired every day with like every new uh drag queen that i come across even on instagram kissing photo they close up or make a post they go makeup tutorial they know it is inspiring and i think agar lok accepts like it's okay if you don't like it you need to learn how to mind your own business it's not a communicable disease i think the biggest problem is acceptance i see so many men and you know when i see somebody uh for example with respect to like sexuality gender everything makeup men wearing makeup a lot of things we see around us which we may not understand fully but it is okay to not understand things fully but it is more important to accept them because everybody is an adult doing that minding their business and if it's not harming you then it's none of your business to tell people what to do no exactly definitely you'll understand how much they say but i don't know but how does that matter to me i live my life i'm living my happy life i'm surrounded by people who love me and i don't even know about their existence so how does that that could also be you know because someone you are surrounded by people who support you there may be so many people so who may not have that support no i just know one thing people around me who support me are the people who educate others as well because when they support me they show that if we can support others can support as well so i strongly believe in this that you know if someone is supporting me i am sure you support me and that is what i believe in if i see something wrong is happening and if i know that is wrong i definitely go there and tell that person so i think people who support me must be like that but you know i'll tell you what happens in like when you're sitting in a group and someone cracks like a homophobic joke or a transphobic joke and even if you know it's wrong some people just can't get themselves to confront it right then because there's a stigma around it actually even standing up even being an ally yeah stigma that is why lgbtq a i may a some people say asexuals but some people also say a stands for ally because being an ally also needs coming out there uh aman has any of this ever made you feel like you're a misfit in the man community like have men made you feel like you're a misfit no no you don't allow them to just because i wear makeup so i'm not man enough it doesn't even make sense how silly it sounds right but has this have you always been this wise development it's been a journey or you've always been like this see uh one thing i'll always uh this is what my father says when you are about to do something new you will always come across people who will be against you so if you want to do something new just be ready for that so i was ready when i like i said for from my first video i was ready um exactly that is what happened there were negative negativity around me but then with like aman's aman's story i feel you have been at the receiving end of all of this change which i'm really happy to see yeah it's refreshing to hear it's really and the society the place where i live even now just wearing nail pins and walking from the last building to the center the main gate of the society in itself not just from people from my age it does hurt like that's exactly what i was coming to like what is it being in dragon being outside the stage you know i used to take dance classes happy society may and there were summer vacations with chute and then coincidentally when i started going public with my drag students come away and then randomly like teen look dance i see just to see and i asked him youtube videos you know who says that i look up to you and everything now he's like he just because something it's something that my lifestyle he his family decided and then that went on to you know with a hello hi we got then hello yeah as i get some i would end up like literally raising my hand without you know any thing coming back it is embarrassing it is hurtful as well but yeah to know that like you to know one stage one two just embrace who you really are and what you want to do and then realizing that you might just be like alone in doing that an outcast probably yeah uh but how do you how do you deal with that like every day yeah yeah i mean it is difficult i mean you said like archaic are better than when you think of you know what happened throughout the day it does bring bring you down and you know uh mudra and all but i feel i am at a place with myself right now also thanks to drag thanks to makeup like the power of the confidence that i've got is through makeup and through drag so ab i am at that point of my life [Music] and the more you and it gives me more of a responsibility to be more loved because screw it like f everyone else [Music] whenever in my experience whenever i've seen drag artists they like to make that's exaggerated makeup right so is it kind of like reclaiming i'm still gonna look better than you so because even the costumes even the wigs everything is exaggerated and like loud because there's a purpose behind it i am a middle-class brown boy a punjabi family soon but right now i'm wearing like a pink hot pink short mini dress with like a neon jacket and a pink wig if that brings some picture to the audience yeah if makeup makes you feel uncomfortable that's what better has dressed us for a casual podcast let's face it like drag artists this is how they earn and if they're so discriminated against so tell us more about life of like a drag queen and i mean you may come from a certain sense of privilege but i'm pretty sure that you're also connected to so many more people who have different stories so tell us what are the struggles of like if a man chooses to be a drag queen one day and put on makeup and celebrate it what is life like i think number one challenge always always stays uh society uh because like my if i do this [Music] not loud it's not short clothes it's not it's for them that's another thing and uh it sometimes becomes so bad directly performance and that's even though there's just like few words it just pinches you in a weird way because that is not what you want to yeah but that's not what you're portraying and they're also crossing a line like exactly with you exactly only because they think they can with your conditioning and your assumptions you're coming up to me and you're saying just three words but you don't know how impactful they may be to someone some people can take it in a strong way like uh two or four [ __ ] sometimes they say but they shouldn't have to be that sick skinned exactly why should anybody have that responsibility to you know have become that thick skin person to you know defend themselves constantly when i'm just at a safe space trying to be myself right why do i have to put up a front of you know a defense but why i'm asking this to the both of you why do you think it is that men find it so hard to accept that blood coconut the more we talk about it the more people listen to ss it changes so uh these days like i said today changed but uh still like a lot of men would associate makeup anything makeup to women or or either not women anything feminine feminine right and the whole stigma around uh you know being feminine means being weak being a second gender or you know being lower lower than men yeah so the vohi stigma as fast because makeup be women's related it shouldn't be around a man's and i also feel that masculinity to a lot a lot of extent is defined by what women are not exactly it's not what men are but we are everything that women that they just fail to you know be themselves and i also feel joe zadar is opposed they are actually fighting their own feminine energy within themselves okay that brings me to the next segment which is called okay okay so i'm gonna i'm gonna ask you guys a fun question and you just answer it now um i'll start with amman what if your makeup kit could tell us a secret about you i am sassy and [ __ ] at the same time is that a secret sort of because [ __ ] well aside that's a polar supremacy oh fair enough not everybody knows public knowledge but what is your uh what if your makeup kit could tell us a secret about it maybe that i have borderline ocd because everything is fully arranged even like coming down from the dressing room before i came i had arranged everything back very nicely you know why i asked this because i feel people are the most themselves and they're getting ready to that is their essence as a person when they're sitting in front of are they stressed are they are they enjoying it are they trying to hide something it's in front of that vanity mirror that you yeah find out who you really are i feel that's why i asked this so this brings me to the end of the podcast and we call this the final word so i want you better to define the modern gentleman in one word i think the model mo model the modern gentleman these days would be uh someone who's just a little more accepting accepting is a word yeah accepting like any accept willing and open to accept new things right not be so rigid in your own values if you are conditions great but then be open to change break out of it break out of it that's beautiful aman what about you for me it would be kind kindness is something that we lack and that is the reason there are so many problems around us so i feel if we are kind towards others a lot of things will change a lot of negativity will go away so i believe in one thing giving kindness and taking kindness in return so if a gentleman you know a perfect definition would be to be kind kind okay that was beautiful that was very uh that was a very interesting conversation i got to learn so much more today and i hope all the listeners also understood what we were really talking about and i hope that you take out the time to go and research about these things there may be terms that you may not have understood fully i'm looking we touched upon a lot of topics but it would take forever to discuss all of these things in detail i really hope um you go and educate yourself after this podcast and you've learned something from it this is me angus bhagana signing off from yet another episode of the gentleman show by the man company and we'll see you next time with some more interesting guests also give us some feedback on social media tag us on instagram at the rate the man company and at the retangus bagona and yeah we'll see you next time,M,1226,33,2,"Sep 9, 2022"
The Man Company,The Gentleman Show | What Do Women Want? | S1E7 Full Episode | @shibani_bedi | @ankushbahuguna,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwobin-ykE4,don't forget to like comment share subscribe and press the bell icon so that the next time the episode comes up you get a notification we are very different and we're both men but his idea of being a man is this so what [Music] so it's kind of like a slab to the society but what about you know the head of their [Music] idea of beauty the society you should look like this [Music] hello everyone this is ankus bahuguna you have tuned into yet another episode of the gentleman show by the man company or just um this podcast is about harvo special guest joe uh one of my closest friends in the content creator actor circuit instagram okay characters is it are you today are you kim k today are you what i'm just myself today that's more than you can handle that's also true that's also true excited one of my closest friends and uh we are going to discuss dating today so i thought if shibani is the person that she is in real life today bore the unfiltered opinions because dating advice from me is like the blind leading the blind you know because i mean i'm single so i don't know what do i have to offer i'm advising opinions we've all through the videos that you've done with me it felt like so then yeah i feel like people who recognize though you know um um it's not like i'm very recognized it's not like everybody i meet on a dating app or in life a lot of people will know you mildly they don't know me too well they might have seen me some of them actually don't or maybe they know and they pretend like they don't you know right yeah but i feel like i consciously stay away from people who seem too attached to my image or the life i project online or at least in my content it's a put off for you sometimes because you know if you are in awe of the persona that you've seen then i don't know i just feel like it's either too much pressure to keep up with that or that's also not that's literally one tenth of me that's actually true you know shibani is one of those creators she doesn't open up a lot about the person she is on social media and i feel like a lot of things that i struggle with now also a lot of people will not enjoy it you know i can't always and i i feel like in life you know that may not be very motivating for people no and it will confuse the audience they wouldn't know who they are following you know if you've come to my channel because i make you laugh when you're having having a tough day and then i put nobody myself out there which is completely cynical sometimes you know as someone who's been sometimes people also checking up on you i feel like it gets a little too much it feels like oh my god have i made a marketing campaign yeah you know so i intimidate you you know that's something that i'm not a tune to handle and i keep telling people if you think shibani is funny online wait till you meet her in real life and wait till you become her friend because the things she will say candidly are i think shibanigar online thus percent like 100 funny that's just ten percent of her asleep is way funnier and way more entertaining or as that's why you have to be yourself on this podcast okay i'm good i hope i'm not too myself because then it will reach forever you know that's also true but we'll control that so so let's get back to you your dating life as an influencer is it like you said it's a put off when people already know what you do yeah not always sometimes sometimes it's uh when they expect you to be that person in reality also the thing is it makes sense to take time because you know you can never be sure who you're dealing with right even when you're talking to somebody and they you know everybody is all um you know coffee hot tub coffee makeup version premium proper version of themselves obviously you put your best foot forward yeah and even when you're talking to people who you're dealing with till you get on a call with them until you do uh you know process let's start from step one like you find people on dating apps yeah not really offline also offline also through contacts through contacts come come come home i if the conversation is interesting you know if the things they say or what i feel they are saying if it catches my attention then i chat with that does hate you catch it and hide here does it catch your attention beautiful pics beautiful picks they just say hey dear uh please please wish us happy birthday oh no which is sweet yeah anyway huh no the hair they are beautiful pics though i don't match only with because it's like okay you know and some people though i think who know me also hey dear we have beautiful eyes i think i've seen you somewhere you connect with me to know me better and i'm like why i mean you know sometimes it's just i can't express it i know it sounds very maybe shallow sometimes the basis on which you decide sort of like i know what to expect what this person will be like okay but again you can never be sure you know because um sometimes i feel like i also end up dismissing people on things which maybe in the long run are not red flags you know but like with you there is a lot of give and take there are a lot of people who like like offloading suck your energy out don't give you space to speak and then they're like oh you're a great listener and i'm like yeah because you didn't give me a choice so mother joey i'm just giving an example i feel like um it i take time to sort of assess a person it's easy for me to assess a person and then decide if i want to talk or not and then depending on the conversation i try getting on a you know a facetime call or a video call a video call okay stop saying sorry you you do a video call and you assess the person yeah and then yeah i feel like i've also kind of sometimes been lucky that there are people who are patient who are also not looking to jump into things and then there have been times when i've either gotten on a phone call or a video call with someone and they've literally like sucked the life out of me or just have turned out to be a complete anti-thesis of the person they were projecting and i'll be honest i haven't delved into online dating very aggressively i've had two three bad experiences in the last two three years and after that i was like boss this is a cesspool like and especially during the pandemic you know like there'd be a lot of people who plan okay video video call currently show i've matched with people been talking to them exchanging numbers with them or whatever and they've turned out to be okay and uh the next thing i know is they're actually just engaged while doing this you know on the side on absolutely then like do you like to go out on dates or do you like to go to their place or call them go out on dates and i prefer my first date to be very kosher in the sense like no alcohol at a time which is not late in the night it's a meeting then yeah but of course it's actually a very healthy way to go about things you know in therapy i've learned that you know every time you're with somebody observe your body observe how your body is responding to them and not sexually you know not attraction-wise but just the ease you feel around them dating problem yes you don't catch on to everything when you foundationally don't know what to look for i realized four things are non-negotiable you need to be with somebody and you need to assess whether a person and their presence makes you feel safe makes you feel hurt makes you feel seen and makes you feel valued and if these things work everything else can be worked around obviously even attractions which brings me to the friend zone thing you know sometimes friend zone is you not feeling sexual chemistry towards somebody now just because romantic chemistry yeah you know and just because some guy or a girl is nice to you and you don't want to go have sex with them does that mean that you're doing something wrong you're just asserting you're right i am playing the devil's advocate here only for the sake of this conversation so you know it's a common thank you friendzone you you talk to a girl yeah and then things are going great and you feel that the girl is interested in you right now and mokka the key tells you i'm not i'm i i i love you but as a friend and not as you know someone romantic so this is something that a lot of men feel betrayed by hmm can't i or can't you as a guy also take your time to decide whether you want to or whether you see yourself with a person sexually or not even if i have let's say had sex with a guy and then i feel like yeah may i can't sign up this is not working for me i didn't enjoy the sex so i i don't know i don't see myself with this person but this is a good person to have in your life so i still want this person but on not in the capacity of like a boyfriend and not just after you know slightly dating them but also maybe before you end up let's say if you meet somebody with the intention of dating and on the date or whatever you decide or yeah you realize through multiple dates or on the first date you know attraction your sexual energy legally but i feel like i have gate great chemistry so is it like there are a lot of boys who also complain they reject us and friends own us because we are nice is the medal does the medal start with the girl's vagina or the rights to [ __ ] her or even for women like does the metal parliamentary language please because sometimes friend zone is actually a great place to be you know it's it's a sustainable place to be it means that you are valued as a person but somewhere the other person also understands that their body is not responding to you very sexually and in case things happen in the future great but why [Music] so as a woman what do you have to say to that like what do women want yeah i feel like the problem is women from the start are not encouraged to express discomfort very blatantly like you are trained to be somebody something before you're trained to be a woman of your own worth you know so i feel like it's it's be please be forgiving towards women because sometimes they don't allow themselves the liberty to express their discomfort which makes it difficult for them people who want to care for them or who want to satisfy their needs to also be available what is that about i feel like maybe that's just women keeping themselves or that that's just their own internal innovation from expressing what they are going through or is it an individual thinking some people just could be as i said of course it's mostly individual but i think largely i i don't know i mean i i in my opinion like i i can't speak for everybody else but i think largely it's just sometimes not thinking that what you say will be catered to or will be taken seriously or is even worth expressing you know i i don't know have you ever to today so then you quickly say something else which is yeah i mean in the sense he was staged you know i feel like that level of self-consciousness maybe 10 years ago yeah there could have been moments where i was but that's what i yeah my problem is i've spent a chunk of my life being a doormat and i've spent a chunk of my life maybe there's your point no the being the person that you mentioned you know the mixed signal type joe express [ __ ] keep prioritizing and keep making themselves invisible to make sure there is enough room for the person they are with so much okay so anyway what i was saying is i feel like sometimes you so you know and then obviously that becomes room for them dumping you or things just going south because you know suddenly you are asking for something that they never knew they were meant to sign up for you're also dating people who don't care about you because if they did they wouldn't have allowed you to become invisible you know so i feel like now consciously i feel like through the course of a lot of bad experiences and therapeutics i've realized that you know um only express yourself you know like it's it it makes sense to set the right foundation you know when you go on dates [Music] so i've seen so many i've seen so many women also who are so confident about what they want they just know what they want right secondly but i i do believe that you know i i feel like a lot of indecisiveness in women again you know this is just a conjecture it's a layer it's a layer it's also just again it comes down to the same thing where you are not conditioned to you're not trained to definitely want and express you know you know at a restaurant you know but but that also takes time and effort it depends on how confident with your body you are to be able to you know with that except perspective you know because the consequences of this conditioning i've paid a huge price for it i think all my life and as i said you know i keep saying please take therapy the whole world should go to a therapist at some point and make sure it's a good one who cares about you who is invested in you it helps you unravel and figure out a lot of things about you red flags red flags red flags what are the red flags for you and like women in general that you know i know that you can't talk for everyone obviously but what are the common red flags that women look for in a look for me but like beware of very off in a guy yeah they go up i've realized you can never be sure of who you're with and what red flags are till you are with them and sometimes a lot of people's personality flaws and issues pop up they can pop up at any given stage of their life but ha matlab the three four things that you need to look out for three four siblings actually how you how safe do you feel around that person in the initial how they treat you how are how respectful are they of your boundaries in your life how they talk about women in general should be a huge marker are they the believers or propagators of not like other girls school of thought what is that it's like why is it problematic to say that dude it's like you know it's love bombing in a way somewhere where you are unnecessarily making the person feel like yeah it's kind of misogynistic and borderline love bombing like you know like you're putting that thing so if at any point if the girl starts behaving like other girls she'll fall from grace and that'll give him enough reason to either dump her or constantly tell her that you've changed and you know like pull her up for it and [ __ ] like that i feel like this narrative is and it's very misogynistic what is other girls what is unlike other girls everybody every girl is like other girls we are all together you know and and women are all there's no one way to be a girl yeah you know and secondly women are also sold this narrative and pitted against each other because this is just basically internalized yeah because other guys are painted as um you know abusive strangely all boys are also like other boys only you know love everybody there are a certain set of entitlement and flaws that i think men in general even the non cis-hat ones have and i've noticed this even in some in some of my you know gay friends with their conditioning just the ha just the gender role conditioning that i think they've faced and the way patriarchy works from the day you're born you know even if your mother or your father didn't consciously raise you to look at gender and women and men a certain way the way they also behave the way the world functions yeah is is internalized conditioning at some levels you don't live your life out at home you don't grow up at home all the time you know your peers the whole world comes into play when it comes to a child absorbing and growing yeah the first two thousand or three thousand days of their lives are not just spent with mummy papa you know they are spent with everyone they have access to so yeah subscribe and if you still have those problems in you and vulnerabilities they can be used against you why not okay so you tell me uh very interesting question are you ready for it oh my god does size matter i don't know [Music] um maybe for some people i'm sure it does but i don't think size matters if you are a shitty person and don't know how to respect your partner and treat them well and are unaccountable and unreliable from sustainable relations with so in that sense ice doesn't always matter because you know sometimes sex and what your penis makes a woman feel is not the only thing that they care about in the long run another thing that i want to talk about and muzu path asked their opinion but i want to address it publicly right the bill splitting on dates it's a whole conversation you know like um when you go out on a girl go out on a date with a girl you always pay the bill because that's what nice gentlemen do and then um a lot of men also feel keep you there i see i'm slightly old school and i sort of believe in chivalry a little bit and if you've asked someone out then try footing it but if the girls and sisters plead split split then split it you know no but my point is key again the other argument if you can afford it there's no pressure and i don't think i don't know if it's you i mean i know a lot of women who hold it against men who make them split the bill on the first date especially but a lot of but a lot of women also don't like it when the man pays because they feel that key yeah yeah i can pay for myself yeah so depending on the vibe you know i feel like but then how do men decide okay you know uh yeah this time you should always propose to pay the bills for the first why should one person see my logic is very simple two people are going on a dinner if both of you are earning yeah i feel like somewhere it's a chivalrous thing to do so is it do you think do you think chivalry is still relevant in today's day and age or do you think that it's uh because there's another conversation that chivalry in itself is slightly sexist because you always consider that women can't take care of themselves so you need to take care of them yeah so i mean i do sometimes feel like chivalry is also a sign of good manners sometimes you know and i i don't mind it personally you know and i frankly also don't care about it i genuinely don't so would you judge if a guy asked you to split the bill no i mean unless that guy has asked me out and told me i want to take you over here then i always offer to pay the bill and i am okay sharing it and there are also times when if a guy has taken or put like one dinner or drink session then i make sure the next time i take it you know i that's just but that's just me you know so i feel like i like chivalry so i work around it so that the person in question doesn't feel like a princess so you compensate in other ways yeah but i feel like it is it totally depends on where you are financially and where you want to draw the line and depending i don't know this is not just dates it's friends also this is that's crazy friends never no no i'm saying i'm saying that my logic is this is my personal opinion that i mean uh even when you're going out with friends whatever whenever you're going out with someone and you're both capable of paying the bill then just split it like there are other ways there are 100 other ways of showing affection yeah like you said like you said there are 100 other ways of showing equality yeah mera my logic is not key equality says bill split karaoke but i'm saying that your respect for the other person can also be shown in a million other ways yeah it doesn't have to be money related yeah but i feel like maybe sometimes it at least initially in the initial days of courting i guess so then would you if you ask a guy out and if you say let's go for dinner would you pay the bill then why not but the thing is i um yeah i mean see ayato would pay the bill uh even if the guy has asked me out you know like it's not but yeah sometimes i do find it odd when somebody is insisted to take you out for something while you've not been very very keen and then suddenly it becomes a match of equality because you know it's like some friends maybe the kartha like when you are very keen on meeting a friend you tell the friend okay i'll take you out i'll take you out but i'll tell you the difference that the difference between friends is key you know that you're going to meet these friends again so there will be more opportunities you know what i mean don't you maybe it's a way to i don't know show respect for somebody's time i'm just saying i mean it there are various narratives it's a very it's a great one also so that okay so then you're saying that different women have different opinions yeah and i feel like all of them are fine and you should also judge the situation played by the year and see what is uh modern dating for people who are not into casual sex tough yeah i mean really you know i have realized ankur sometimes um by by this question i mean that in a world where you know like we've all we all know that casual sex is a thing now it's normalized which it should be um there are situation ships there's like it's not old school dating anymore but there are some people who believe in old school data then i feel like your intention and how you communicate it should be very very clear but is it difficult for an old school person to find someone in today's day and age but then there's a possibility that if they don't see themselves getting married or settling down so soon they will find a way out of it i feel like largely honestly speaking um in your early twenties and all now it's a little harder to find people especially when you're looking for men you know who who in the same age bracket who will consciously slug it out unless that's also something that they want i feel like deep down everybody wants the same thing you know either the label of marriage or not but everybody wants to be with somebody yeah you know we are all ultimately looking for that unless you are an unreliable person and those people also find a lot of takers but a lot of like some people may not care about the the duration of the relation they might just be looking for like casual sex rules and agendas don't you know like plod along with a man pandering to what he needs and his want for no labels while you want a label if the guy wants to be serious but the girl is only looking for something yeah and then you know dump that girl or dump that boy for doing that because they will never change they will never come around you can't change their mind are you saying that you know if they don't if there is you know i there's this one quote by this guy mark manson you know where he says if it isn't a yes it's a no if somebody is not sure about you means that they are not sure about you foreign [Music] when we foreign [Music] okay this is a very problematic i know right now say it like you would but hey problematic character she's every buwaji you're dating advice for men i frankly don't know be yourself guys and maybe be a little less asshole-ish and uh you know it's okay to learn how to not be sexist and challenge your conditioning it's possible it's it's it's okay to do that it doesn't it is not a threat to your masculinity or it's a question to your masculinity final question uh define the modern gentleman in one word huh conflicted conflicted don't you think so what is the explain i feel like nobody wants to be a you know a big r person [Music] of knowing and not knowing and conditioning is is too much and then to move around in a setup where things are very different but you are raised with values which are very like set in stone i think conflict is such a great way to describe it because like you said the conditioning even if you want to learn better yeah you've been taught a certain way so it takes time to yeah unlearn that and that teaching is very convenient it makes life very easy for patriarchy makes life easy for men sometimes a lot of times yeah of course and i also think that your privilege give yeah because you know if you want to keep somebody around who is their own person a woman especially uh you know you'll work around what she needs and sometimes that can be tough and challenging and that's why there is conflict very beautiful thank you so much shibani okay so that was the end of this episode uh this is ankush bhogana your host from the gentleman show by the man company signing off uh and how many social media please feedback though feedback bye [Music],M,11106,496,41,"Aug 19, 2022"
The Man Company,The Gentleman Show | EP 04 | What's Your Gender? | Nitasha Biswas | @arnabpapu | @ankushbahuguna,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqgzL4OntYk,we are very different and we're both men but his idea of being a man is this sony so what [Music] so it's kind of like a slab to the society but what about you know the head of their idea of beauty the society like this [Music] hello everyone this is ankus bhagna and you have tuned into yet another episode of the gentleman show by the man company aspect discussion acceptance of people who we may not necessarily the conversation has changed and we need to keep up with it and you know the owners of learning is on all of us right we have natasha who is india's first trans woman to win a beauty pageant and we have arnab viswas who identifies as a gay man and also works on diversity and inclusion at his workplace hello both of you how are you how are you i'm good i'm good i am good i'm good i'm just thinking conversation body intention and i'm just and i just want to say start this by saying that if i mess it up if i mess something up if i say something wrong if i use the wrong terms please feel free to correct me because i feel um it's just very important to uh give out the right information and opinions about this particular topic and um to all my listeners i want to say i know your topic to maybe what heavy but i feel that it's high time that we talk about these things quite openly and um i'm pretty sure that everything that is said on today's podcast is going to be a learning for someone or the other yep okay so i'm going to start with you know full form with the lgbtqia plus which is like a blanket term for a whole community which is like a wide spectrum of gender and identities and sexuality and whatnot so lgbtqia plus stands for lesbian gay bisexual transgender queer intersex and ally and there's a plus because i think the plus is there because um you know till date we have come so far with so many genders at the moment and the different um virtues of being born in this world right so i think it's going to be more than plus so i think what's your pleasure would it's more about you know you we want to cover everyone because there might be people who do not identify as one of them and any of these existence is still valid of course so that's the reason and we are unaware about it so that's the reason we you know want to cover everyone and be more inclusive and that's the plus basic questions because i feel that we get like they've heard transgender but they don't know what cisgender is yeah so up uh can one of you or both of you define for me cisgender transgender what is intersex what is cross-dressing let's just you know clear them first before answering this question it's very important to know that what is sex at birth what is gender and what is sexual orientation so let's start with that sex or gender make africa sex i mean sex is good and gender wow okay gender is uh you know i am born uh i'm assigned male at birth but then i don't think from my heart and mind that i'm a i'm a guy okay so then i am identify i identify myself as a as a as something different than my assigned than my uh sex at birth someone is born male assigned male 1 i'll tell you my example i'm i'm born with sex at my sex at birth is male so is mine yeah yeah i i identify from my mind and heart as a male so i'm a cisgendered man okay so i am also cisgendered man so if you if you were born to all my listeners i'm just explaining if you are assigned male at birth and you also identify as a man then you're cisgender yours is gendered and now sexual orientation is a very different thing now as a man i am attracted towards another man then it's i'm gay and that's got nothing to do with your gender that's not got nothing to do with this other two you know uh fields which i've explained so but you know i would not say that i'm 100 correct because it's a very very difficult and complicated topic so i think there are always difference in opinions and we are we should be able to accept those opinions i'm saying that gay people can also be cisgender yep i'm a cisgendered gay man right understood okay and natasha tell us about the difference between like transgenders and cisgenders so like what happened was um when i was born so i was assigned male and birth but um as with time i grew i decided that um i wasn't i was not in the right body so i want to change i want to change my you know what i was assigned at birth i wanted to be a female i want to be a woman so i underwent transition and i underwent my surgeries and everything to be called as a woman at this point of time so what happens over here is that um i've transitioned to be a woman and when i talk about the cisgender women is someone who is assigned female at birth or women at birth so that is exactly the difference over here so in in simpler terms like uh transgender people are people who are assigned one thing at birth right but they identify something gender right the one they have so then do they have to undergo surgery to be trans not necessarily i think it's a very great question because um you know bob to my belief that i wanted it so it's my free will to do it so someone there like there might be a lot of other twins women who do not want to do it so it's i think it's a free will also accessibility definitely yeah it is expensive right i wish it's covered by the government someday whenever actually questions so cross-dresser or transgender mecha so you know let me put it like this when i started my transition that was back in 2015 long time ago so what happens over there is there was a phase in my life where i went to my psychologist i went to my psychiatrist because it was necessary to have these two people the signing before my surgeries happen because they undergo rigorous um evaluation to understand what they are they really wanting to be of the opposite gender right so whatever what happens over here is um i had to cross this for a while to understand how it feels to wear a bra how it feels to wear a panty i'm just going a little bit more inner so people understand how does it feel when i wear a dress so over here i feel good so that is exactly i was given that green signal that yes you can go ahead and have your surgery right so when it comes to cross-dresser a person doesn't necessarily have to have i mean have a surgery undergone why because you know the person is happy as what the expression they are showing so again over here then comes the non-binary there's a lot of it's like a chain enough like incan link we've talked about men we've talked about women we've talked about trans people there is like there are non-binary people there are gender fluid people also right joe who don't so can you explain what gender fluid people and non-binary so people believe see we have always lived in a world where everything is defined by binary a male and a female and one yeah so those are the two digits right so it is high time we understand that there can be different uh you know kinds of people within that spectrum of zero and one some defined some undefined some yet to be defined and that's where non-binary comes non-binary means it's a non-zero or a non-one it can be 0.1 it can be 0.4 so how much you know towards male or towards female you know those two binaries i feel like so they don't necessarily identify as either basis either way then also i know one particular one but suppose i'm dressed i feel like a man today it might happen that tomorrow i feel like a woman so i don't define it you know regularly but then that's how i feel i can't help it so those are non-binaries okay and it's it is none of your business what another person identifies one point i always make angus is that uh whenever you are you know trying to break out of the rule you become an exception and an exception always stands out so no one wants to be an exception in a given point of time if someone is trying hard to become an exception out of uh the in spite of facing all the ridicule and you know the hap you know all the fun being made at that means just imagine how strongly that person believes that this is what i want exactly i think that's where you know i can i should put a word here because um how badly i needed that right and how badly i needed that body because the feeling is euphoria when you have undergone your journey i would say and i mean i would love to share it here when i saw my body first time in the mirror without i think skin is the best cloth in on our bodies so it feels euphoria and that is exactly he just put it in his voice but okay so natasha i want to talk to you about this whole journey and if you don't mind sharing with us because i feel that it may inspire people listening to this it may also make more people understand what it is really like to be trans and growing up trans right right because i'm pretty sure that things were difficult before you realized you know what being trans is so can we start from the beginning can you tell us about your story so like um like i come from calcutta i was in a all boys school in synthesis calcutta so of course bullying has been a part of my life since um i was little feminine when i was a boy when i was a young boy so it's like you know like those visions coming right now so it's like um you know fighting yourself every day when you go to school and you get to meet your class friends and i remember staying alone from the rest of the boys because i would just not go out and play football cricket on all the physical activities that guys would tend to do during that time remember i'm talking about 2015 now long time back so then what happens over here is um so like growing in that atmosphere being called names and you know certain way to behave then you go back home then i think my only friends were my servants in the house when i was young right so since my father's father was an ice officer i was staying in a huge house and everything so i couldn't gel with my other neighbors but the boys were there so it was tough but did you always know that you're trans or it took a while a woman i would say i always knew i was a woman okay so deep down within me so i think that is exactly i knew from then at what age what age was this i um i remember going through a lot of journeys that time when the first internet dropped in into calcutta so my father got the internet so we had computer classes and my elder brother who was in the same school so he told him that you know i think this is what i represent i feel like i remember my brother giving me a porn cd in class sevens class ten or nine i might be wrong he said you should see the chemistry between a male and a female that time and i was like okay i'm the female right he literally switched it on and said i'm going to go to the other room and see what happens so maybe this is a phase he told me it's a phase in your life that eventually like the women body i said no i don't want to you're just forcing me to do something that i don't want to right and that's wrong and at that time to reach i knew that so i think it was in class seven when i started this but did you know when people react like that did it make you question yourself did it make you feel like there's something not uh you know you're different from other people well definitely you know imagine um when a child goes to school and uh you've been boycotted not been spoken to because of your behavior called names like [ __ ] and everything i think that breaks the spirit of the child it breathes because the child doesn't know right until you tell them so it made me believe that i'm different which i was not you know so it made me believe that okay i'm different because this is how the world thinks about me so yeah that i think it was tough i would definitely say it was tough enough is in very deep thought right now do you yeah are you thinking about your experiences yeah because she's talking about 2015 i came way back because i'm much older to other people so over here so when i came out i mean i would if i talk about my journey i think uh my father expired when i was a little kid and i was born and brought up you know i was brought up by my sister and my mother it was always the female members who was surrounding me so many times uh it has been told that you are gay because you were always surrounded by women and as you mentioned i've also heard you know if you have a lot of female energy around you so you know so it it makes me question their education because if a girl is being surrounded by a lot of men would he become a boy so that's my i mean you know you know what i mean i mean so you can't become yeah you can't become this is not something which i have chosen this is what i am so and uh as she mentioned that i was also not much interested in sports while my cousins and all my friends were busy you know playing table tennis and football and cricket i was i was very happy and comfortable with playing with dolls but then their rules were my i come from a very orthodox bengali family so they're like oh oh why is he not playing qriket he should be you know he should be going there learn character and all that but slowly and steadily i realized you know that uh i am different and i'm okay with my difference so when you are confident about yourself when you self-accept yourself then what the third person is thinking about me doesn't make any difference so that gave me a lot of confidence and also my first boyfriend whom i met in college that person made me realize that i'm not the only one because i didn't have internet access then so when i saw that okay there can be people like me i was already self-accepted myself then i saw a third person and you were like okay you're huge was i'm like like both of you said you talked about being effeminate as a child right so did uh arnab and that's that was your journey to realizing that you're gay but there may be so many gay people who may not be effeminate as kids right for sure i mean this is not a formula there's no see over the years we have uh we have marked that okay pink is for women blue is for men we have gender we have given gender to everything possible we have given characteristics to everything so these are all social constructs i was asking my sister she has equal potential like me that why have you never you know done something else why have you always been a school teacher because she's like you know we have been blown up in a way brought up in a way that no longer school teachers scope a few professions that were accepted yeah so which is ridiculous but then yeah right so coming back to you then where did you go from there when you realized that okay you're a woman but did the world around you believe that just because you believe that well um i remember coming out to my elder brother first and um i would just not come out to my brother to my father because he was very strict sorry one second i want to cut you there and ask you one more question did you have any did you know of any um people from the community at that age or did you have any role models in your family or someone who trained i mean not from their family but then uh as i said in class seven when i had access to internet i started googling uh different transgender people and the first one came was miriam rivera so i think she was killed or something later on i got to know but then a lot of other girls like um there's news that i would like to say that uh carolyn cossey was one of the first transgender james bond girl in back in 90s so a lot of people doesn't even know about it right so i started following these people's journey read about them i can't imagine having nobody to talk to about this when you're realizing such a big truth about yourself oh yes and depending on just the internet all by yourself that must have been yeah so like you know like of course my internet one my computer was my friend so i used to come and um understand and you know try to get things out you know in my mind and everything so i used to like you know process it in my head and then finally tell my brother in class 8 i remember and one find i just say the spawn series of no use because you know you're just trying to put me in a box which i don't want to and then um so i knew like my father would be totally against it since um i like our numbers you know he lost his father i lost my mother when i was in class six so you know like um so i was in a very strict vigilance by my father as a mom and a dad both so then i was was he supportive of this he i mean eventually i would say he was but initially no because he would just scare me that you cannot do this and all um it was totally against it but i found my way to leave the city and come and start it you left the city yeah i left after my schooling because i in class 12 i had to finish three years since he was for 12 years and my father was you're going to davis college and i'm like no i'm not going because i have to stay back back in calcutta under his vigilance so i had to just leave right so i started applying for fashion colleges and he made me sit for clart exam eyes exam because he's a nice person he's like you have to sit for all these exams and i did sit for them and um i just tick mark whatever i wanted because i didn't want it to pass was switching cities was this one reason that you could not live your life definitely yes my relatives were not that friendly as well because they also had been not great towards my family so my father had to see a lot because of my behavior like imagine in back in calcutta we have this ritual um i'm sure that you know when we have saraswati puja we all cousins come together and then we're having durga puja in my house from 10 15 years by then and my cousins would not be like that friendly with me so i would be like oh my god like it's so bad right it must have been very very hard yeah even for you ernab like growing up because i'm guessing now your mother is very supportive of it but i mean right now everyone in the family is very supportive including my cousins uh probably ankush i would say uh because it was way long back i uh i generally don't blame them because they were not aware but because they were not aware i i can't really say that i was not tormented i was tormented because i the problems that she just mentioned i have faced similar problems and similar issues in my life that you know uh why are you dressing up like a girl why do you want to wear a bindi and at that point when i was in class two and three i didn't know that okay i'm not supposed to do it i remember days where i was crying alone and i could not even explain it to my mother that you know why i was crying because i would be very ashamed i remember one instance in my school i was in class eight my biology teacher asked me what is your gender she was making fun of me in front of the entire teacher a teacher a biology teacher had it been possible i would have told her name as well but then because i named those evils yeah but yeah yeah but that incident was so scary for me with 66 other because i remember there were 67 students in the class and others all other 66 people laughing at must have been humiliating it was very humiliating i don't remember what i have done to ask me that question and i might my question right now would have been how dare you and it was obviously done to shame you and not to shame me it was not a genuine question and you won't believe me she was one of those teachers in school whom everyone would look up to she was dressed up very smartly and you know she was one of those fancy teachers i would say and she asked me this question but till date that incident is there in my fresh in my mind yeah do you ever get like for example i was also bullied as a child and i feel that now i have overcome all of that but one mention of these incidents and they're very fresh in my memory yeah so is it the same i'm sure it was well um since our numbers mentioned biology teacher i mean let's not name these evil spirits you know first of all so good for them actually right now right now yeah so you know what happened over here was uh i had a teacher who would imitate me in front of my 50 other art students so when that time i was in class 10 my icsc was on the way so i remembered i think it was a maths class or yeah it was let's um let's not get into too much of details as well so the teacher comes and i mean i as a normal student i would just say that i had a question for a certain number you know for like for a certain subject right the syllabus so then uh like he would imitate me so you know i mean that's like and the entire class would laugh imagine teachers doing this they're supposed to teach you and they're supposed to be good role models wow so the enter class would laugh and you imagine that the teacher is there for 40 45 minutes and teaching and he's gone so what i'm going through the rest of the day from 9 a.m to 3 p.m so you know they would just um you know they would do the same thing because you know teachers are supposed to be teaching students so if you're teaching this to bully others you're adding on fool to fire so that is exactly transphobia homophobia it's not deep probably those teachers didn't realize what they were doing no probably that same teacher would behave completely differently right now because i'm sure she's a well-read woman and she wouldn't evolved she has evolved so in my case i most of the times you know uh pardon a lot of people thinking that okay it was way too back but that teacher i could not pardon honestly for example now your parents are supportive are your parents supportive yeah i think the tables turned for me after i uh when my father saw the first article in calcutta news that i was the first kolkata trans woman to win a beauty pageant so that is where my turning point happened so my father would um i remember not speaking to him for quite a long time because for him it was very hard to understand that um you know his son is a she now right so he tried all his best so when you transitioned do you remember the day when after the transition you met your parents oh yes yes so i think um the best part of my life was when um when i won the pageant in 2017 and once again for all the listeners transition meaning that you underwent a surgery surgery to call myself a woman okay i'm just like like a physical surgery a physical cemetery okay so you know buzz what happened was when i went back to calcutta so what happened was um i met him right my father so for the first time in human flesh he saw me like that and i met all his um his colleagues and the most shocking people yes i met all his colleagues and they kind of you know like inaugurated me with the flowers because i made my father proud right and there were other ice officers high police officers and everything and out of which one i used to call g2 when i was young like g2 uh in bengali we say that so he comes and he was crying okay i think he was not drunk then so you know he was not drunken he was he was crying and holding my hand and his wife was there auntie was there so it was only my hand i said uncle why are you crying and then he says then you know what natasha when i was young you can imagine when i was young he's like plus 60 right i kind of um wore my mom's my sister's frock and my father would come and beat me up beat my [ __ ] out of me that evening right so seeing you i realized that what you have changed in our minds so i think that gave me a lot of courage and that's impact that's a huge impact and i was i had to use in my eyes and i was i'm getting goosebumps right now because i think that incident was very touchy in my in my mind that time i just want to say i'm very very proud of you yeah thank you honor i think one small uh you know point which i want to make crying do you not think that sometimes i'm not defending people but i'm just saying sometimes sympathizing may be a way of them showing support or is that not how you're supposed to i think you should show support we are talking about equality no one wants normalizing and normalizing the more you will sympathize the bigger the problem becomes because it's always you're always looked in a different look with a different special place are you saying that if you tell someone that if you come out to someone or if you tell them your story what is an appropriate response is there any i mean i mean depends also uh generally i would not tell my story to everyone for i can give you a small incident which happened yesterday after podcast i mean but then uh i came out to a colleague like very very uh you know normally without any without much hustle and but he didn't react and that's exactly the reaction we want he didn't react he didn't say anything but i was thinking you're so used to being giving you some big thing has happened oh my god it's fine to just have uh being gay is okay it's you know that you know so i was talking to this uh trans person once and she told me that according to her it's very personal that's what she said she said it's very personal but i like the reactions where there is no reaction because that's the only time where i feel like what i look like what my identity is not a point of conversation i tell people something they they're like okay cool and yeah that's normal that's normalizing it in the real estate absolutely according to her the younger generation they don't they care i mean most of them the the i would i would actually not say the younger generation in in total because obviously we're talking about us we are talking about a certain section of the society educated aware of you know social media exposure exposure lives in metro cities those those handful of people they don't react but is this the same uh you know condition all over india all over rural india i'm not sure i'm not sure of course i get on uh you know social media every day by putting up very simple stuff people you know come back saying that you know you are great you are a hero i said i don't think i have done something supernatural but those things trigger you know those things make a huge impact in their life but imagine when like it's so interesting that you said supernatural thought but interesting you embracing yourself is seen as an act of heroism because that's the right that's where we are right i'm just being me and that is supposed to be a statement in itself because most people are not allowed to be there right right like as much as i'm proud of you i also feel um people are not allowed to be themselves yeah i mean many people call me privileged for that i think we are privileged but how we best utilize that privilege is also something in our hand i mean i can give you a small example which one activity we did in our office so just to give context arnab uh just company manufacture he uh does a lot of work for the community yeah yeah what do you do about total background so i work in finance but then i also uh you know lead the lgbti wing in my company so that way uh we have done a lot for social inclusion of uh the community uh but then in as a part of the activities on push i would just uh just tell you a small example uh we asked people to wear nail polish on their you know one of the fingers and ask them to hide throughout the day most of ninety percent of the people came back with a horrified experience that i can't hide my finger imagine a gay person hiding his own self throughout her or his life how difficult it can be you can't hide one finger i'm hiding myself all over you know every every time i come out wow i think they'll understand how it how does it feel it's a great maybe a fraction maybe a fraction i mean just paint one of the fingers and then i ask you to hide don't show this finger to anyone throughout the day come back to me and tell me how you feel tomorrow running into their running into your own shoes i really hope all the listeners listening to this right now well i think um definitely yes thinking it's a mixed feeling why because um i think of course little bit change has been visible but then we are not 100 yet could we have had this conversation if it was not decriminalized [Music] you could not even openly i think see being gay was never uh was never a criminal act uh i mean having uh being caught in a being caught in a sexual position with a person of same i mean same uh you know orientation or same gender i mean not the right term same sex same sex that was uh not legal okay but then again we had other laws joe those were very complicated natasha what do you have to say about this i think have you decided yes or no of course i mean little as i said i think i mentioned you like little change has been there but uh our number is right as well like you know by education is something that should reach each part of this land so everybody understands and what it is and without knowing how will you know who is gay who is trans person like you know till date i would say that uh in 2022 if i go uh to a village and someone will not be if i tell or someone gets to know i'm a trans woman i think there'll be reactions still because education has not reached in that land on that part of india legally problem near socially yes i think society society wise there's a lot to do we have not even near the ten legally problems because uh yeah section 37 decriminalizes homosexuality but it has not given us equal rights we can't marry we can't uh have inheritance of property uh we can't divorce we can't do a lot of stuff inheritance is property in returns a property from i mean if i have a partner there is no inheritance of property of by the partner how it is in the cisgender yeah partners so there are multiple issues still there so i mean whether i want to get married or not that's a personal question probably i don't option though but i have to i should have the option of saying yes or no so i'm not very sure so i would not comment about surrogacy and adoption so i think there are problems there as well so legally are we there we are not there um i want to ask you this after you transitioned um it obviously changed the way you look my life's changed your life changed right has dating been more difficult after uh you know your transition so you know i will uh say that uh dating live of course um being on like of course i used to use few of the social apps too we're humans we want friends we look out for new people so then when i was like you know swiping on you know men in the town so there were times that um i would get a lot of swipes because of my pictures or maybe some guy likes me or but the way i look away i talk whatever so you know someone has liked me and then then comes the hard part so before that hard part comes i've kept in my mind i used to mention transgender women so i don't want to question that in in a separate part does it put you in an uncomfortable spot when the conversation gets to there because you know what my imagine i'm dating a sweet guy tomorrow and um a heterosexual guy so if the person doesn't know about my past i have to say eventually right because i've had a incident like this back in bomby where i was dating this guy so i just randomly met him at a club in south bambi and so he didn't know about me we met at a club loud music and everything so he didn't know about me and then eventually i found that he was having feelings for me i would hang out with him for coffees and everything so eventually i had to come out to him and tell him so then it's like i'm liking the guy as well and if i tell him i'm transitioning so my what the hell is this oh [ __ ] so it's of course it is so you know i think dating side very few people will understand they have this mind like a heterosexual guy in my historic movements and everything that i would have understood that is the guy would ask you why are you operated or you have you have you been through the process have you not been through the process or you look operated this is the kind of things that i've got because okay how are you so possible right so that's possible like someone cannot understand that you're a transgendered person okay yeah i'm sorry so i'm guessing that the situation would be much worse for some men it might not be possible right and that is where my voice was for my international pageants that i said that you know my voice for all those girls my heart goes out to them because i've seen a little bit maybe out of hundred i've seen twenty percent of it someone who will go through this eighty percent of it is so hard their life is said to say trans women maybe or possible aspect what is your opinion on that because isn't that also kind of celebrating possible as a trans person so you know i think beauty pageant video pageants i would say like since i was in the india's first transgender beauty pageant so i think that was fine india so i think personally that video pageants are done to empower the community at this point of time but at this point at this point of time but eventually when i go to 2040s 2050s or beyond that i do see pageants where all genders are being celebrated you know so we are going there over time so like if we can only if we say that let's do miss india for everyone there will be a problem now because right now the education has not reached every part so you know what is specified pronouns when i say specified pronouns it means letter do you see me and you will say okay i'll address her as she her hers that would be my first reaction reaction because of the ideal condition condition right when you see our number it will be him uh his right so what happens over here these are called pressure specified uh pronouns apart from that there are people who want to be dressed as they that them right so uh non-binary they don't want to necessarily be called a man or a woman basically in the binary system so generally the term generally is very important a cisgendered man would say that he has his pronouns as he him his cisgendered woman would say my pronouns is she her hers so basically if you were assigned female at birth and you identify as a woman so generally generally she would say that my pronoun is she her hers but there can be conditions that she might not right exactly gender is something which we identify these are the traits of a man he looks like a man uh the short pant penis so but then uh ideally i would say that in most of the cases they are correct but there are cases uh where you are not correct and in no way if it's a 10 percent that doesn't mean that they are not important of course they are equally important so you know we don't know enough people who have come out as right anything so if you're not confident what i feel encourage even many a times i face situations where i was not sure that what is the correct pronoun to use very politely and there are ways of asking you can ask that listen mr x or mrs white or miss x miss by joby okay i'm not very sure sorry mr and mrs exactly the first question you ask every time you meet someone yeah every time you're confused i think you know i'm i have a solution here just trying to oh you know the best way to put it politely is like tomorrow i see someone i would say hi good evening what are your pronouns or how can i address you as yeah how politely you can ask but natasha so i just want to understand how do we make this a thing that people actually follow okay um you know what i mean i mean see again there's a uh i see educated working class probably they are aware of if you ask you know someone not within the specified spectrum that okay you ask me my pronoun before they will say what [ __ ] is talking right so it's easier said than done but there should be a starting point it has already started in uh in one location in one in one section of the society it has started uh and we should uh we should try encouraging it more but then uh how fast we can do it is a very difficult question and also you know not practical it's not practical i mean because every conversation doesn't start like no and also if mother intention genuinely interested if you really want to know ask it otherwise don't really i have a i have a uh i would severely mind if someone wants to behave very inclusive in public and show that oh my god i'm aware of it and ask what is your preferred phone number she actually he or she gives up you know doesn't care and they don't use them properly don't use them properly just to be cool you don't have to ask it ok so especially someone who's not very sensitive about these topics and hasn't read a lot she okay this person's pronouns are not he him looks like how a man dresses but the pronoun like do you apologize do you i do okay of course okay in a corporate sector i do think yeah but not all i mean i think it should be in regular life as well so i apologize yeah i'm so sorry to you know but dress you as that so thank you for making me correct i think how beautiful you can say that also you know in many we are trained that how gender neutral we can be instead of saying that hi boys and girls hi ladies and gentlemen just i'm addressing you too as guys guys so tell me so in my office if you write an email with high guys we have the right not to respond to you wow yeah you always have to use gender neutral language like hi friends and folks which is no gender someone someone wrote an email that to the chairman and the email was declined because it should be chaired person not chairman how willing are you to learn because i wrote one email saying manpower planning my manager declined the meeting saying make it resource planning because manpower yeah so gender neutral terms of the way yeah like hello people it's the safest yeah fair yeah and i also think that if you know you're addressing a crowd okay if you just say hello folks hello people everybody feels included yeah exactly right you know what i mean yeah very good point you know i think psychologically you feel well i'm a part of it yeah yeah you're addressing me as well and enough so about coming up let's talk talk about sorry coming out let's talk about coming up how how difficult is it has it been for you to come out versus like in general also how difficult i'm sure you know a lot more stories of you know queer people how difficult is it really to come out it depends on a lot of social and economic uh you know condition because uh most of the time financial financial conditions because for me it was difficult because i was not sure uh you know how my family would react it wasn't i mean many people would say that oh you are privileged and you have a you know you have a very easy life but then uh i wrote my own story it wasn't very easy in the beginning because i also had my share of you know humiliation and cross questioning and i was also taken to a doctor that you know is my son you know what what is he saying so but then uh with education if i could change the mind of my mother and also i come from a huge joint family with 300 you know relatives with the same surname i have successfully changed all their mind they're very very comfortable with you know the queer community the lgbtiq community they know a lot about it because i have spread word about it so uh now it is easy but coming out was difficult it is still difficult for most of the people in india i think it's also a very you know personal decision whether you really want to come out or not because if a straight person is not coming out and calling out loud in public then i don't think uh straight insane i see my intention is very different because i am very comfortable i want to talk about it because there should be someone who should be talking about are you willing to make that i'm willing to make that impact not everyone is comfortable so coming out not coming out is something you know very very personal but it is still very difficult when you decide to come out to someone see i generally i don't look at any quality i come out to everyone because i'm just being me so as i said that in a gym i would still say oh my god this guy is hot and obviously my you know it's all almost like coming out and then the one question is and whether you accept it or you don't accept it it's your problem it's not my problem after you transitioned right and then they meet you again so how has that been like because it's like you have made the change that you wanted to mm-hmm and you have accepted yourself but bakilo bibi still lagging behind so i think um you know like a lot of people have uh my like out of ten friends five has been lost in that journey he lost friends yes because transitioned because i transitioned they had a problem or they couldn't take me whatever you've done you've done with your body with my body but then they had a problem i don't know why i still figured out some time but i tell that that i think the universe pushed them out so you're glad i'm glad good actually it's good riddance yeah so probably you know something was there in the karmic connection so it's gone so i think it's good because you know if they couldn't have accepted me during that time so there's so many other trans women they will be coming across will do the same thing right so what's the use and also let's talk about they don't want to grow let's also talk about how unsafe life is for trans people in general like i mean you could still afford the surgery you could eventually get there but there are so many people who struggle for like shelter right there's so many of them that we see on the streets mm-hmm and they have also been kind of demonized and you know it's almost become it's become an insult word as a trans person what do you want to say because but people who are struggling out on the roads also whatever traffic signals pay red lights life must be really hard for them right of course life is i'm sure because you know i was doing this uh documentary on uh the transgender life when i was in my media college in uh calcutta so what happened was uh that was my first year i remember that was my project right so i literally went shona garcia is one of the most highlighted places in the world like for uh prostitution and for red you know these work so he went there and i saw this uh you literally get 15 rupees a person and a night to millions of money over there so you saw these trans girls who are standing and i on purpose went and i asked because i wanted to know that johnny to one of them i asked and she was like going to get a meal for like you know for a night by sleeping with someone it touched my heart like why would she do this you know why does she has to do this and go through so much of pain right so i personally feel that um this is happening because insensitivity towards the community first second would be lack of education again comes back third is the government how much of extension of hand the government is giving as well talk about being gay and what are the things that people don't understand about gay people i mean uh i'm gay but then i'm not sexually frustrated that's what i want to say because the moment you come out to a straight man i'm like i have faced this so many times in my life that i'm getting like oh don't touch my listeners there are different kinds of subtle homophobia i mean you know you accept a gay friend but you don't accept your gay brother this is great you know i'm one of those liberal mothers i wouldn't mind uh my son being gay next day when the sun comes out i have this example in my family she howled and cried my son is gay my son is gay and what happened to those dialogues two years back huh so uh those are subtle homophobia there are there is subtle homophobia within the community too there are many gay people who would say are they typical you are not you know this is not one of those behaviors this is all the homophobia what is typical who is gay he dresses up like he doesn't have any traits uh which is like visibly you know just straight passing by and then you would say why do so typically this is also a homophobic behavior homophobic dialogue i mean you're too gay for our liking huh you know so there can be and what about like what are the common things that people say to transphobic you know what i mean there are various ways you can show it one is uh which i have faced with silent discrimination when i used to work and when i started working at a company so i would like initial days when i transitioned i would definitely feel that you know i was not a part of the company when people are having dinner you know lunches together and everything i would not be called because in oki or she's transitioning i don't know what is she doing this typical mindset of having that oh she's transitioning means means she's sleeping around i'm sorry i'm not available for everyone you know there's likings between people right so you know that mindset i think this these are like what transphobic behavior end of the day because you are not playing a part to be together when you're having lunches to talk to your fellow colleagues and everything and the second is i definitely feel that transgender means easily a lay down that's the wrong conception i would just not want to sleep until it's without the consent of two person why would i get attracted to every man i have my choices i have my free will towards the mind so i think that is one so and then third is like you know i feel that um this is changing i believe because with my uh experience of dating then till last few years um and i shared this with my partner as well that earlier things were like oh she's a trance means let's meet her at the corner understand her this and that and everything but things are changing on that so that's a transphobic behavior you know the moment that you see someone trans transitioning transgender like you like oh my god i don't want to be hanging out with the person and everything but you want to sleep around have a good time so that's wrong so i was already discussing this with natasha um which is why i'm asking this um can you do you mind telling us about your surgeries and the whole process of transitioning because like we've already understood key transition for a trans person it's a very personal choice yeah again i mean it's person to person like whoever wants to do it can do it whoever doesn't want to do it it's fine like it's end of the day but for people who may want to do it what is what are the things that people need to understand about the whole process of transitioning and the surgeries and right so i think um i will place it like this that first of all surgeries are hard you know when you undergo surgery it's not easy because i have with my experience of surgeries i would say that my pain began from the time my anesthesia was over that is where the pain begins because you know yes the pain and everything comes right because once you're in the ot table you don't get to know you just like they put sedation and you're gone right you're just um senseless so i think you know over here i would say that um the surgeries i've gone through a series of surgeries so first one being just one month late first they do some um hormonal hrt it's hormonal therapy for rigorous three years yes that is the first one because uh during operations of course that's before the surgery so what is the first step the first step is you go to the psychologist and the psychiatrist you start having a friend to start ,M,328081,259,20,"Jun 24, 2022"
The Man Company,Hall of Gentlemen 05 | Kiran Verma | The Man Company | #GentlemanInYou,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQqRUD-P7dY,the journey began during demonetization when i received a blood donation request for a family from raipur chhattisgarh back then i was heading marketing for a well-known educational institution but that day changed me forever what happened after that left me devastated the blood i donated was sold to the needy family who couldn't afford medical bills and patient's wife got into prostitution to pay them off the incident made me resign from my job and i decided to work toward a movement where nobody should die waiting for blood to create awareness i decided to walk length and breath of the country and created a platform called simply blood today with over two lakh blood donors on the platform we have saved more than 35 000 potential lives across india without charging anything to anyone during the pandemic to serve the underprivileged we started serving unlimited meals for just rupees 10 and have served more than 4 lakh 50 000 people in last one and a half years currently i'm walking 21 000 kilometers covering every state and every union territory to create awareness about blood donation and mobilize 5 million people to come forward and donate blood if we could come together and eradicate polio we can do the same for this issue my name is kieran varma and this is my life story i'm proud to be part of the hall of gentlemen by the men company,M,521,14,1,"Apr 19, 2022"
The Man Company,"Gentleman tum hi toh ho yaar | Celebrate self-love",https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t30LFLoDyi0,"No one has ever written poetry on your eyes,
I don't think a song was ever composed about your tresses.
You wander floor by floor,
cleaning the world,
As if hanging from the sky.
But when you see a mirror, and take a pause,
Man, you slay!
You, who don't let fights get ugly,
when you steal a glance to look at your clothes,
you really look cute.
In the traffic's rage
you sound like an Indian classical flute
And when you bring flowers for yourself too,
Man, you slay!